Demon Cam in the Space Silmarillion
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"Yes," everyone present says forcefully. 

"I'd be more comfortable with one that could also be remotely activated," Fëanáro says, "if that's within your capabilities."

"Also," Findekano says, "you wisely haven't told anyone where you got Cam but I am not sure how many thousands of years with an Enemy who can tamper with your memory and keep resetting to try things before he successfully concocts a scenario in which it obviously makes sense to tell someone in the scenario."

"I swear never to tell anyone anything that'd help them in reconstructing how Cam arrived here or how he could be stopped," Fëanáro and Maitimo say in unison after a second of hesitation.

Everyone looks like they just witnessed something utterly horrifying. 

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"Remote activation is probably not technically harder than internal activation but presents a security hazard."

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"It'll present less of one once we have FTL communication," he says, "but unless I get unreasonably lucky that's going to be years. Remote activation with a trigger you can generate at will and that doesn't exist the rest of the time?"

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"- doable."

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"Alright," he says, "current plan is to land a few thousand people on each of the Elven civilizations in the world, there are presumably more than the two but this continents seems to be taking the bulk of the fighting so we'll start here, get a sense of what it'll take to persuade those people to evacuate and then move everyone else in to help accomplish that. I'll entertain problems with this, and alternatives."

"Trivial for the Enemy to slip some agents in with the people evacuating," someone offers. 

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"That seems like the sort of problem straightforwardly solvable with oaths unless that is horrifying for some Elf reason."

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"Depends on languages," Fëanáro says. "If there are three or four main spoken ones we're fine. If there are a thousand languages with monolingual speakers we will have to learn them all well enough to understand oaths in them. And Dwarves, if they don't have backups, probably cannot make oaths."

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"If there are a thousand languages I have to make a server farm to learn to translate them all but it's not impossible in principle unless computer translation should be expected to be inadequate for oath purposes. Dwarves I can - put on a separate planet I guess?"

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"We don't have computer translation good enough for oaths, but you might. Other objections."

"Do we have any reason to expect the Enemy can't follow light-leaps except 'we don't ourselves know how to do it'?"

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"If he'd be detectable were he to follow me I can make detours, it'll just at least double every hop out."

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"...I think that's probably worth it," Fëanáro says after a second's hesitation. "Also if you're the only one who knows the location of the planet - which is useful for information security reasons - you have to make all the trips, and we're looking at moving several hundred million people in ships that hold three thousand apiece."

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"I think I can brigade them. It'll take a little fiddling. Or scale up the design? Would that work?"

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"Don't try it with passengers the first time. There's no principled limitation to the current size. Fuel'd be a nightmare, but -" he grins wolfishly. 

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Nod, nod.

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"Dwarves are in Doriath," one of the men at the table says, frowning at Cam's transcript. "That's probably our best hope of persuading them to tell us where their cities are."

"I'm planning to go," Maitimo says, "and give it a try."

"Don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not."

"If Melian is the Queen of Doriath then Elwe is the King."

 

"Cam," Fëanáro says, "I'm assuming you did not mention Alqualonde to anyone."

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"Not in so many words. I did say I would not describe events as 'the Valar let you go'."

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"I would expect the news to go over very badly," he says, "and certainly make it harder for us to earn trust. So we need to make sure they don't learn of it."

 

"Right," says Findekano coldly, "so the Enemy will tell them."

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Cam nods slightly in Findekáno's direction.

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"Then I don't know how to approach Doriath," Fëanáro says frustratedly. "If they want to be manipulated that easily that's their lookout, except the Dwarves -"

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"I doubt all the Dwarves are in Doriath but infosec-hazarding the locations might be rightly perceived as a threat."

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"And we don't have good enough medical technology to cart everyone off the planet in their sleep for their own good and apologize later."

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Nod.

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"Then," he says irritably, "why don't some people who didn't participate in Alqualonde be the ones to go to Doriath and try to meet Dwarves and denounce the rest of us at need." He's looking in particular at a gaggle of blond people in the corner. 

A woman looks up and glares back at him. "Our pleasure."

"Thank you. Opinions on whether ramming Angband with ships will decrease the Enemy's torture-simulation capabilities, invite retaliation, provoke him to escalate capabilities -"

"Yes, yes, and yes, at a guess, is that worth it?"

"Cam, can you give us a sense of what escalated warfare looks like?"

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"Oh, half the planet is radioactive and you have to boil all your drinking water and filter all your air and substantial parts of the ground explode if stepped on and entire cities can be obliterated at the press of a button and if you touch the wrong trap you start dissolving, stuff like that, and that's not even getting into all the crap that he might be able to pull if your chips aren't secure."

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"So nothing that provokes escalation. All right."

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