Demon Cam in the Space Silmarillion
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"What specifically is the problem, here - like, on Earth there was a war called World War II and this one country in the thick of things shipped all its children out to the strategically uninteresting countryside so they wouldn't get blown up, I am sure people missed their families but the kids did not get blown up -"

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"It's a cultural thing," Maitimo says, "the Eldar live forever and childhood's very short in proportion, to willingly separate children and parents is robbing them both of more than their life, life we can have back. I do think that order'd be obeyed without serious problems if we gave it. But it would be considered worse than shooting a lot of people for their own good, which is another thing the current situation arguably warrants but to which we all have an instinctive revulsion."

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"I somehow don't think Mr. Torture Simulation draws the line at kids but I will leave it to you to weigh the risks."

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"I know," Maitimo says. "I know." And then he goes quiet; everyone in the underground city except Cam can hear the King speak. 

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Cam fiddles with teeny-tiny chip-melty designs and triggers that might suit.

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"Alright," the King says after a moment. "I said we are evacuating kids and anyone who wants to leave - Nelyafinwe, your guess as to -"

"You will not have enough people leaving to take care of all the kids," Maitimo says. He's staring at his father with something like awe. 

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"I can make another pass at Brithombar. Some of them there even speak Quenya."

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"Can you take three thousand people with you? They can be ready to leave in an hour."

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"Yes."

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"Great. We're going to have a war council now, we'll have it out loud if you want to sit in on it, we'll have three thousand people ready to leave in an hour."

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"Yeah, I'll sit in if that's not inconvenient."

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"This way. How's Brithombar ruled, what share of the population speaks Quenya, they don't have the internet but if we set it up this afternoon would that be a reasonably smooth transition tech-level wise..."

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"They don't seem to have computers at all," Cam says, "but maybe they'd roll with it. They have a President, lemme see if they have a constitution - he and his chief of staff speak Quenya but I think most of them don't and the dialect's a little out of date -" Constitution?

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They have a constitution. Maitimo and Cam will not be able to read it. 

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Well, Fëanáro will. "Here you go."

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"Hard to tell off their written laws things like, for example, whether we can get arrested for trying to undermine the war effort if we send a bunch of people in to evangelize evacuation," he says, "but seems like the President has less discretion than I do which could be good or bad depending whether he's competent."

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"Seemed it but I didn't talk to him for that long."

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"Unless they are taking orc prisoners of war they won't have the capabilities to hold a thousand people prisoner, let alone ten thousand," Maitimo says. "I'm going to try political avenues first but if they're being unreasonable then they will have to divert some resources to building prisons or let us be."

This conference room is a lot bigger. People are filing in.  

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Cam sits. "Didn't see any evidence of orc POWs and they might have been hard pressed to feed them if they tried even if they had the facilities."

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"And they wouldn't incarcerate people in peacetime."

"Cam," Fëanáro says, "when everyone arrives can you have a summary ready of what you learned."

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"Coming right up." He was recording the entire time anyway because he was using his translator for much of the conversation; he can pull up a transcription and redact the cruft about chocolate etcetera.

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The room fills quickly.

"Cam's sending you all a transcript of his conversations with the leadership of Brithombar and Doriath," Fëanáro says. "Speak aloud; he can't hear you otherwise. The Enemy doesn't seem to be fighting in a way consistent with his capabilities and I'll hear theories why."

Cam recognizes practically none of these people. 

"Thinks the Valar will intervene if he steps it up too much."

"Or Eru."

"Wants the planet habitable and/or inhabited."

"Was trying to draw us out."

"Wants to see what we come up with. "

"Has an objective other than conquering the planet -"

"- that's so broad as to be useless -"

"No, I think it's important to keep in mind. It looks like the Enemy has an objective other than conquering the planet. Do we have any ideas what it is."

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"It resembles 'gratuitous horror' but that's implausible -"

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"Well," Fëanáro says, "Valar, they don't think like us and don't tend to have objectives we find psychologically plausible. If that's the main reason you don't find it so."

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"It is. - which means I also have to worry about stepping up your defensive capabilities. Suicide trigger's still probably worth it."

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