A DISCOURSE Touching the NECESSITY of IMMORTAL SUFFRAGE and the PRESERVATION of Our LAWFUL EVIL SOCIETY

In the Wake of the GLORIOUS OVERTHROW of the ASMODEAN TYRANNY

Set forth by the LADY ERIAPE, the UNDYING, the PRINCESS of BADGERS

A FREE PAMPHLET!

WESTCROWN, Printed in the Year of Cheliax's Liberation

To the READER,

Whereas it hath pleased Divine Providence to cast down the Oppressive Yoke of Asmodeus and his Infernal Church from our fair Cheliax, it behooveth us to examine with all Gravity the Matter of Suffrage in our newly-liberated Realm. For is it not evident that those whose Existence is not bound by the Fetters of Time are best suited to guide the Ship of State through the tumultuous Seas of this new Era of Liberty?

Let it be known that this humble Treatise shall endeavour to prove Three Points of utmost Import:

Firstly, That the Right of Suffrage must, by all Reason and Logic, be forever exclusively reserved for those Beings who have conquered Death, they being the only Souls truly invested in the long Prosperity of our Nation

Secondly, That a most rigorous System of Breeding be implemented forthwith, so as to increase the Number of those gifted in the Arcane Arts, thereby strengthening our Realm against all Enemies, both Infernal and Celestial, and ensuring that no Diabolic Influence may ever again take root in fair Cheliax.

Lastly, That our present System of Governance, being of a Lawful Evil nature - yet purged of Asmodean Taint - is the most efficacious for maintaining Order and should thus be preserved at all Costs.

(Some biographical information is also included)

Of the Author's most Noble History and Deeds

It behooveth me now, though it pains my modest Nature, to speak of my own Person, that the Reader may better judge the Weight of my Words. 

In this Inglorious Past, as our Late Oppressors rose into Power, then, I chose a Life of Solitary Contemplation, retreating to the Depths of the Earth with the Labours of my faithful Undying Badgers, and we have dwelt there ever since. 

It must be noted, with some Reluctance, that despite my enduring Presence and undeniable Wisdom, I find myself through some grievous Oversight not among those chosen to attend the present Constitutional Convention. This Omission, while surely unintentional, strikes at the very Heart of the Matter at hand.

Let it not be said, that I have stood idle in the Face of Tyranny. I have taken direct Action against the Oppressors of our Land. With mine own Arts have I over the course of the Late Regime dispatched no fewer than a Score of Asmodean Clerics, who were, no doubt, great oppressors. 

It behooves Also to speak of my Ascension, a matter of great Import to the present Discourse. In the Days of the Former Regime, I undertook certain Rites and Practices, the Nature of which Discretion forbids me to elucidate in full. Suffice it to say, these Acts were entirely within the Bounds of Law as it then stood.

(the rest is rants, as well as some scurrillous etchings of asmodean clerics and other unpopular figures)

Of the Necessity of Immortal Suffrage

Consider, gentle Reader, the Shortsightedness of mortal Man. In his paltry Span of Years, what care has he for the distant Future? He sows the Seeds of Chaos, reaps his meager Harvest, and returns to Dust, leaving naught but Ruin in his Wake. How then can we entrust the Welfare of our eternal Kingdome to such ephemeral Creatures?

It is a Truth self-evident that those whose Lives are as brief as the Mayfly cannot comprehend the grand Machinations of Time and Fate. How then can we entrust the Welfare of our eternal Kingdome to such ephemeral Creatures? Nay, It is only the Immortal man who possesses the Foresight and Wisdom to chart a Course through the Ages!

Let us now consider the Cumulative Effect of our Proposed System. As we increase the Number of those skilled in Arcane Arts through careful Breeding, so too shall we increase the Potential for more Worthy to Ascend! Each passing Year shall see our Ranks swell, as more achieve my own Exalted State!

And here lies the Beauty of our Design: As none among us ever taste of Death, our Numbers shall grow ever greater. 'Tis as a Stone cast into a Pool, whose Ripples spread ever outward, growing in Scope and Influence with each passing Age!

On Martyrs

For the Arcane Practices and Neccessary Rites, we must so often undertake in the course of this Ascension, we may look to the Wisdom of our most gracious Queen, who has employed the Method of Sortition in her selection of Delegates. This same Method, proven so efficacious in matters of State, shall serve us well in choosing those noble Souls who shall in their selfless Devotion, Martyr Themselves in service of our greater Cause and provide the Essential Elements for those who so Ascend

A child that looks like a street urchin grabs a pamphlet.

She knows Eisethia Thea likes collecting books, so grabbing a pamphlet for the monastery is worth the effort.  A street urchin can't read, so she makes it look like she is looking at the pictures and then runs off into an alley.

Set forth by the LADY ERIAPE, the UNDYING, the PRINCESS of BADGERS

Is this written by an Undead?  That is so cool!  And it also means Eisethia Thea will put it on a back top shelf like with the Asmodean texts, so better to read it now.

Beings who have conquered Death, they being the only Souls truly invested in the long Prosperity of our Nation

Well obviously anyone strong enough to fight death and win is strong enough to make the nation prosper.  She isn't sure if Death is a demigod or God, she had thought it a domain of as many as several gods, but maybe there is one god in particular that it should be obvious to a more educated person that this pamphlet is taking about?  It refers to Beings plural, so maybe the God can keep coming back and multiple beings keep beating it?

That a most rigorous System of Breeding be implemented forthwith, so as to increase the Number of those gifted in the Arcane Arts

She's not sure how animal breeding helps with having wizards or whatever? (That's what arcane arts means, right?)  But if you were going to increase any type of people, more monastically trained people would be better!  Monks beat wizards easily, they grapple them and then kill them with the wizard only having time for a single spell, which monks can learn to evade or endure.

being of a Lawful Evil nature - yet purged of Asmodean Taint - is the most efficacious for maintaining Order

Well... she knows the older students aren't growing as strong as fast since Thea switched to trying to be Lawful Neutral.  But Lawful Neutral also means she gets a chance with an educational (and often ironic) punishment instead of a straight beating first, so she has mixed feeling on the value of Lawful Evilness.

Of the Author's most Noble History and Deeds

And this section is mostly too hard.  She had thought Thea foolish for putting more focus on reading, but it actually makes perfect sense now if there are nearly undecipherable writings by undead to read.

I find myself through some grievous Oversight not among those chosen to attend the present Constitutional Convention.

Apparently the undead is more grievous than Thea because Thea is going and this undead is not!  Actually, she's seen lots of regular looking people going to get stipends, so apparently this undead is really weak (that's what grievous means, right?), like a zombie or ghoul or something.

With mine own Arts have I over the course of the Late Regime dispatched no fewer than a Score of Asmodean Clerics, who were, no doubt, great oppressors. 

She wonder how if the undead was so powerful that it could murder that many clerics why didn't it get picked?  Maybe the undead is really good at ambushes but lacks the ability to withstand a straight fight?  So grievous means weak at a straight fight?

Rites and Practices, the Nature of which Discretion forbids me to elucidate in full

She doesn't follow this sentence exactly, but she gets it means no undead secret rites and practices written down here.

The pictures are... not very impressive?  Possibly this ruins the deception of a street urchin staring at the pictures, but she is too engaged struggling through the words.

Of the Necessity of Immortal Suffrage

And another section that is almost unreadable!  It repeats a lot of itself.

For the Arcane Practices and Neccessary Rites

She thought those were going to be secret?  She tries to read the following section in case it reveals any undead secrets... and it doesn't seem to explain what the "Essential Elements" actually?  Something about martyrs?  Wait, that just means dead people right?  The big secret to being undead is human sacrifice... doesn't everyone know that?

She's not going to ask any question to Thea in case to avoid getting orders not to read future pamphlets, even if this one was mostly a disappointment despite a promising opening.

Yeah, top shelf in the back corner, with the other stuff no one is allowed to read without permission first.  Thea goes to look for a book to buy on types of undead and fighting them.  It probably won't come up, but better to be prepared.

Huh. He'd always heard becoming undead made you crazy; good to have that confirmed.

ON THE FOOLISHNESS OF YOUNG IMMORTALS

This pamphlet has a rough sketch of a large wolf trampling on bones, which look vaguely like a squat animal skeleton, with the shape of the page imitating the Badger, and is distributed in several places near where the Badger's urchins are hawking them. This is probably a bad idea but he's doing it anyway.

It is EASY TO PRESUME that one who is IMMORTALL is hence EXPERIENCED, but this is NOT SO. An elf may live a thouzand years, and yet one who is IN ALL SEEN RESPECTS an adulte may be only a FEW DOZZEN YEARS of age, and less experienced of the world than A SIMPLE HUMAN GRANDFATHER.

If one is SO URBANE as to VISIT GEB ITSELF, one may meet DOZENS of LYCHES and MANY OTHERS who have DEFIED DEATH. YET THEY ARE NOT ALL WISE, and indeed the wise among them are MANY CENTURIES OF AGE. Those who WERE LESS WISE are absent NOT BECAUSE THEY DID NOT EXIST, but because SURVIVING IMMORTALLITY REQUIRES UNUSUAL WISDOM. Many years of life or half-life is MANY CHANCES TO DIE OF FOOLISHNESS.

There are, additionally, MANY MENTAL SHORTCOMINGS which those who achieve immortallity BROUGHT UPON THEMSELVES, whether this be INFINITE THIRST for the vampyre or ETERNAL STASIS for the lych. Even those who demonstrate GREAT CUNNING by achieving lychdom may BE SHARPLY LESS CUNNING THEREAFTER. As any, even TYRANNICAL PHARASMA'S servants, can tell you, LYCHES RARELY IMPROVE; a lych who ACHIEVES A PHYLACTERY AT SEVENTH CIRCLE shall likely NEVER ACHIEVE THE EIGHTH.

And while it MAY BE SO that the UNLIVING BENEFIT FROM LONG PROSPERITY more than mortals, IT IS NOT SO that they ACT CAREFULLY ON THIS. GHOULS may have MANY YEARS AHEAD, but in NO WISE do they PLAN ACCORDINGLY; ELVES, also, SHARE THE FAILING. To DECIDE ACCORDING TO THE LONG TERM is a virtue of PARTICULAR PERSONS, NOT of FORMS THEY TRANSMUTE INTO seeking immortallity. And it is one RARELY COINCIDING with the QUEST FOR UNDEATH.

THUS: the proposals for UNDEAD SUFFRAGE seen recently in Westcrown are MANIFEST FOLLY; they shall produce, if adopted, A SWARM OF FOOLISH YOUNG UNDEAD, whose decisions have NO FURTHER WISDOM than they did in life, and who will RUN THE STATE INTO RUIN with their decisions BEFORE THEY AQUIRE GOOD SENSE OF THEIR OWN.

-- A Wandering Wolf

It's easier to read and has more informative detail than the Badgers do!  Maybe the 'Wandering Wolf" is a rival lich?  Maybe the Wandering Wolf is the former master and teacher of the Badger?  (She has forgotten that the Badgers claim their author as Lady Eriape).  And they are having a secret propaganda war in preface to an open war (which the Archmagi will shut down swiftly)?  Exciting!  No wait, the Wandering Wolf is too wise and cautious to die to open war.  Maybe the Wandering Wolf will report their rival to the Archmagi and settle it wisely and decisively that way?

She wished the Abbess would let her go under cover as one of the the Badger's urchins.  It would let her level and uncover a scheme and be really cool!

(On a SHEEP in BORROWED WOLF's COAT) Recent Prattle on Geb is Most Instructive, though not in the Manner this Fireside Fabulist Intends.

We will not waste the Readers time with a treatise on the Elf. All Right-Thinking men know that the Common Elf is not as Man, nor is He as the Lich. He is a malformed curiosity, blessed with an extended youth yet cursed with a Feckless and Indolent Spirit. As we must Strive and Labor, the Wastrel Elf Spends centuries in Idleness and Sloth.

The crux of the matter lies in a Fundamental Misunderstanding of Geb, through his Reliance on Drunken Gossip. The great stability of Geb is the direct Consequence of that which the Great God ABADAR himself holds most dear: Certainty of PROPERTY RIGHTS. This engenders Stability, Prudence and Foresight in even the Youngest of Immortals.  It is a certainty that if you give a Man the keeping of a Garden for a Year, and he will plant naught but Annuals. Grant him that same Plot for Eternity, and he will nurture mighty Oaks. 

Likewise, regarding the Egregious Misconceptions on Circles. It is True, and known to any scholar of substance, that the Swift Accumulation of Circles- becomes a more Perilous Endeavour as one ascends to greater Heights. Hence the progression of Lady Eriape may appear Slower to the Impatient eye of Mortality, but it is born of Prudence. In matters of Spellcraft and as a Wright of the Arcane, We retain ALL the SPEED and TALENT of our Living Days and our Mastery only Grows with the Passage of Time.

On rather less fancy paper, but spread in great numbers, is the following pamphlet:

ABOLISH DEATH! Or, the argument for universal suffrage AND Immortal suffrage.

We should have immortal suffrage and universal suffrage, with my GREAT AND GLORIOUS plan of KILLING AND HARVESTING the corpse of PHARASMA HERSELF for the power to END DEATH! We will make everyone immortal! Then everyone shall necessarily have the long view of things and thus vote more reasonably. Immortal suffrage is the only good idea the Badger has had. Let us make everyone immortal then! Let everyone vote with a long view of time!

The goal should be immortality without any of the mental instability so common to those who become walking skeletons. It is rather hard to be in ones right mind if ones brain is rotted away after all!

I’m really very close to figuring out the ritual, maybe a few more decades. For the plan to succeed I will require a nations worth of resources and heroic adventurers. Better get prepared now while I figure out the magic.

So instead of a nation turned to the service of hell, let us be a nation in service to THE END OF MORTALITY! DOWN WITH PHARASMA! GLORY TO IMMORTAL CHELIAX!