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After dinner, while Bella is squirreled away in her and Tony's room reading her History textbook as though it's a fantasy novel (for the two bear significant resemblance)...

Artemis Burberry is in her room, on Patricia Hall, lamenting to her great horned owl about the lack of relatively private fireplaces for Floo calls here, and wondering where her roommate is.

(Who names their daughter "Sherlock", anyway?)
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The door opens.
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Artemis glances over her shoulder.

"Wrong hall," she says. "You probably want Parker Hall, they're right next to each other in the directory."
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"My wand opens the door," he observes quietly.

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"Well, they screwed up, then, didn't they, I'm rooming with some girl named Sherlock."

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"I am Sherlock," says Sherlock.

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"What, there's two people in the same year named Sherlock? No wonder you got mixed up. Look, I got here early because my dad was too busy to take me shopping, I know my way around, what's your hall called?"

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"Patricia," he says with enforced calm.

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"But - that's this hall." Pause. "This is a girls' hall."

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"I noticed," he says flatly.

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"So... you're a girl?" ask Artemis dubiously. "Merlin's knees, are you some kind of cross-dresser? Eugh, I knew I should've gone to Charmbridge..."

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"If it is your opinion that I should have been given a room in a boys' hall," he says, "I can only say I agree completely. Unfortunately the administration does not."

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"What are you, though, what kind of demented freak did they put me with, I will complain, Dad will sue the place, you shouldn't be around people till you've been a few years at the hospital to get straightened out in the head, did you get in the way of a Confundus or what, eugh," and, clutching her wand with what might be nervousness, Artemis surges to her feet and marches past him, heading for the stairwell to find someone suitably official to object to his presence at.

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Sherlock stands very still until she is out of the hall.

Then he also leaves.
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It's not quite twenty minutes later when a gray-haired woman with a badge labeled Residence Director, accompanied by a recently-crying sixth grader, knocks on Tony and Bella's door.

Bella hops up to get it, and blinks.

"Miss Stark?" says the Residence Director. Bella sits back down, as this isn't about her, but she listens.

The recently crying sixth grader points at Tony. "That's her, they're identical, it just makes it even more ridiculous -"

"Miss Stark, I was wondering if I could have a word with you about your sister?"

Bella blinks.
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"Talk," says Tony.

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"Well, first of all, Miss Stark, at ACAAM we have a policy about politeness to staff, but I understand you're probably confused, so I'll let this slide. Your sister apparently has some - habits - that have distressed her roommate - and I was wondering if you could shed any light on the matter before I have to call your parents about it? I'm sure you can see Miss Burberry is distressed."

Miss Burberry does look reasonably distressed.
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"You put my brother in a girl's room," says Tony. "I'm not surprised somebody ended up distressed."

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"The enrollment records are magically maintained, Miss Stark, and it clearly indicates that your only sibling here is your sister Sherlock."

"She thinks she's a boy? She's got you convinced? Were you playing with your parents' wands or something to mess her up?" Miss Burberry mutters.

"And to complicate matters, the other Miss Stark is not currently in any of the locations designated for student access," the Residence Director adds.

Bella is frowning now.
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"Yep," says Tony. "Still not surprised. What do you want me to do about it?"

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"Well, perhaps you could explain exactly what the matter with your sister is and we can work out some sort of plan to make sure she isn't alarming anyone?"

"Why didn't you just room Tony and Sherlock together?" asks Bella.

"Miss Swan, this conversation isn't about you," says the Residence Director.
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"My brother doesn't like it when people call him a girl," says Tony. "Why don't you try giving him a single?"

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"Miss Stark," says the Residence Director, "if you have a brother, he is not in attendance at ACAAM. We are talking about your sister Sherlock. She cannot have a single because the limited number of available single rooms are all occupied, and most of them are on the halls reserved for the higher grades."

"Why didn't you just room them together, though," Bella says, "is there a rule against putting siblings together?"

"Yes, Miss Swan, as a matter of fact there is," says the Residence Director testily, "because one of the advantages of schooling over home education is integrating with the broader magical community, meeting more types of people, and coming to the understanding that one cannot stick solely to the company of one's family. The Miss Starks will not be rooming together. Ideally we will discover the issue with Sherlock's reference to herself as though she were a boy - and Antoinette's too, come to think of it - and we will find a way for Sherlock and Miss Burberry to room together peacefully."
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Tony turns to Bella.

"Would you room with him?"
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"I was just thinking that," says Bella. "But that leaves you with Miss Burberry, doesn't it?"

The Residence Director frowns.

Miss Burberry looks at Tony dubiously.
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Tony looks at Miss Burberry.

"Yep," she says. "Which won't be fun for either of us, but it'll be better than the other way around by a long shot, right?"
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