precarious | Glowfic Constellation

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Milo is mildly surprised to have been carried all the way here without breaking anything, but then, he supposes dragons have reason to be gentle with their princesses.

(Ugh.)

He sighs and follows the dragon's directions.

The dragon trundles along heavily behind him. The third left leads to a network of caves that apparently belong to this specific dragon.

"I'm Roxim," says the dragon. "What's your name, princess?"

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"Milo."

"Well, Milo," says Roxim, apparently not up on princess naming trends in Raxwell, "you can make yourself comfortable in that little room over there, might be dusty but there should be whatever princesses need, and I'll show you where everything else is in a couple hours."

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...There are going to be dresses, aren't there. Oh boy.

Well, maybe he can escape. And... make his way back to Raxwell from the Mountains of Morning, alone, with no horse and no map. Hmm.

"Thank you," he says, because there is no point in being rude to the dragon. Still - "I'm not a princess, though."

"You're what?" asks the dragon, blinking.

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"I am a prince," he enunciates. "I am a boy."

"You don't smell like a prince," says Roxim suspiciously.

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"I've had problems with this before," he says. "It's very inconvenient. The giant Porabor made the same mistake a few years ago."

"Well, I can't just put you back," says Roxim. "Wouldn't work."

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"...Why not?"

"Haven't got the faintest idea how to go about putting a princess back - sorry, a - you're entirely sure you're not a princess? You smell exactly like a princess and I can't see. You wouldn't be having fun with me, now, would you?"

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"I promise you, I am a prince. You could just carry me back to where you found me and put me down. I can find my own way home from there."

"I'm not entirely sure I could find the spot again, and anyway, I'm not quite sure you're not really a princess," says Roxim. "You'll just have to wait for someone to rescue you. I'm sure somebody will be along eventually. I don't put up much of a fight."

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...Now that he thinks of it, Milo has concerns about being rescued.

He thinks of asking Roxim if Roxim has any friends with better eyesight... but maybe he'd better stay away from other dragons, who, if they noticed he wasn't a princess, might be inclined to treat him as a prince. And princes in the Mountains of Morning are usually there to fight dragons.

"Well. All right."

"It's not so bad," says Roxim cheerily. "If I've punctured your clothes there, the King gave me her enchanted wardrobe a while back, didn't need it anymore, you'll be able to find new ones. Get comfortable."

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"...Thank you."

Oh boy.

He goes to investigate the enchanted wardrobe.

On the first try it's full of dresses. On the second try it's still full of dresses. On the third try it's full of dresses in his size, and he closes the door firmly and sits down on the floor and cradles his head in his hands for a minute, and then gets up and addresses the wardrobe.

"Look, I know this is weird, but I really am a prince and I really do need clothes. Work with me here. Please?"

He opens the wardrobe again. Now the selection looks more like something he'd get at home - a little fancier than he usually likes, maybe, but no skirts. He can live with that. "Thank you," he says, patting the side of the wardrobe. "I appreciate it." And he changes into one of the subtler outfits, with silver embroidery rather than gold.

Roxim comes back down that area of his caves a bit later. "Come on out, Milo, I'll show you the place. There's some things that need organizing and some other things that need dusting and some of them probably need both. Can you cook?"

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Milo emerges from his new room. "Yes, I can cook. Not especially well, but I know a few things."

"Well, that's better than nothing!" chuckles Roxim. "This way."

Roxim shows him the library and the treasure rooms and the kitchen. There is a frozen entire cow in the kitchen, thawing. Roxim does not direct Milo to do anything with this cow. "How are you on dead languages?" he asks when they're at the library.

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"I'm much better at those than I am at cooking!"

"That'll help with organizing the books, then! Turned the place upside down the other month and still couldn't find my Duplace omnibus."

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"Sure, I'll organize your library for you."

"There's a good princess," says Roxim, and he dragons off to elsewhere.

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