This post's authors have general content warnings that might apply to the current post.
View Flat HTML
View Metadata
Search Post
Jann is minding his own business. He is playing by himself in the courtyard with a wooden sword: this definitely constitutes minding his own business. Nothing that follows is his fault.
A thing that follows:
Five-year-old Milo comes marching determinedly into the courtyard, hugging his left arm against his stomach, a position that generally means he broke and set it within the last hour and it's still at the stage where any significant bump or strain will knock it loose again.
"Hey Jann," he says. "I need you to get something off a shelf for me. I tried to climb up but it didn't work."
That is probably where he got the broken arm.
Five-year-old Milo comes marching determinedly into the courtyard, hugging his left arm against his stomach, a position that generally means he broke and set it within the last hour and it's still at the stage where any significant bump or strain will knock it loose again.
"Hey Jann," he says. "I need you to get something off a shelf for me. I tried to climb up but it didn't work."
That is probably where he got the broken arm.
"Oh. Sure. Where?" asks Jann.
"This way!"
He leads Jann into the castle and down to one of the treasure rooms.
There is a rolled-up carpet on a high shelf, partly unrolled and looking like it might slide off the shelf any minute now, and a stepladder next to it, and the remains of a small wooden crate scattered over and around the stepladder. Clearly, Milo tried to use ladder plus crate to reach the carpet, only to discover the crate was unable to hold up to even his tiny weight.
"I wanna get that carpet down before it falls down," he explains. "Cause it's right over that magic sword and nobody knows what the magic sword does, and dropping things on magic swords is usually bad even if you do know what they do."
He leads Jann into the castle and down to one of the treasure rooms.
There is a rolled-up carpet on a high shelf, partly unrolled and looking like it might slide off the shelf any minute now, and a stepladder next to it, and the remains of a small wooden crate scattered over and around the stepladder. Clearly, Milo tried to use ladder plus crate to reach the carpet, only to discover the crate was unable to hold up to even his tiny weight.
"I wanna get that carpet down before it falls down," he explains. "Cause it's right over that magic sword and nobody knows what the magic sword does, and dropping things on magic swords is usually bad even if you do know what they do."
"Are we supposed to be in here?" Jann wonders.
Milo shrugs, one-shouldered so as not to jar his left arm excessively.
"It's my treasure room, isn't it? My family's, anyway."
"It's my treasure room, isn't it? My family's, anyway."
"Well, yes. Where do we put the carpet after I get it down?"
"Over with the other flying carpets, probably, unless it doesn't fly, then it belongs somewhere else."
"Does that mean we have to test it?" Jann asks, standing on his tiptoes to reach for the carpet.
When he grabs it, he abruptly can no longer do that, because he is a rabbit. A long-furred white rabbit with brown blodges and lop ears.
"Ack!"
When he grabs it, he abruptly can no longer do that, because he is a rabbit. A long-furred white rabbit with brown blodges and lop ears.
"Ack!"
"Argh!" exclaims Milo. "What kind of person enchants a rabbit carpet?! Now how am I going to get it off the shelf? ...Are you okay?"
"I'm a rabbit? I'm a rabbit! I'm never getting anything off a shelf for you again!" exclaims Jann, performing a remarkably rabbity whisker-cleaning gesture with one paw. "And not just because I can't if I'm a rabbit!"
"Well - well, let's go find my mother," says Milo.
Jann hops out of the room. He has a little puffy tail. "AUNT CELYTA. MILO TURNED ME INTO A RABBIT."
greatcomposure
"I DID NOT TURN HIM INTO A RABBIT," yells Milo. "IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!"
And there is Celyta, summoned by this commotion. She regards the pair of them.
"Hello, Milo. Hello, Jann. How exactly did you end up a rabbit, Jann?"
And there is Celyta, summoned by this commotion. She regards the pair of them.
"Hello, Milo. Hello, Jann. How exactly did you end up a rabbit, Jann?"
"Milo accidentally turned me into a rabbit!" says Jann, thumping the floor with one of his big hind feet angrily. "With a carpet! He told me to get it from the shelf for him!"
greatcomposure
"Why did you tell him to get the carpet, Milo?"
"Because it was gonna fall on the magic sword and I didn't think it turned people into rabbits!"
"Why did you tell Jann in particular to get the carpet?" she clarifies.
"...Because he was there?"
"Maybe next time, when you want something gotten from a shelf in the part of the treasury room where we keep unsorted magic objects, you should look for someone who might know things about them," suggests Celyta.
"...but I thought it was just a flying carpet," says Milo.
"And now your cousin is a rabbit," says Celyta.
"Because it was gonna fall on the magic sword and I didn't think it turned people into rabbits!"
"Why did you tell Jann in particular to get the carpet?" she clarifies.
"...Because he was there?"
"Maybe next time, when you want something gotten from a shelf in the part of the treasury room where we keep unsorted magic objects, you should look for someone who might know things about them," suggests Celyta.
"...but I thought it was just a flying carpet," says Milo.
"And now your cousin is a rabbit," says Celyta.
"Do I have to stay a rabbit?" says Jann. "I can't be a knight when I grow up if I am a rabbit!"
greatcomposure
"You don't have to stay a rabbit," Celyta reassures him. "I remember that carpet. All you have to do to stop being a rabbit is stand outside under a new moon. And if you make sure to touch only the bottom side of the carpet it doesn't turn you into a rabbit at all, which is why, Milo, you should let the grown-ups deal with the magic artifacts."
Milo looks very sheepish.
"Now. Do you have anything to say to Jann?"
"...I'm sorry I accidentally turned you into a rabbit," sighs Milo.
Milo looks very sheepish.
"Now. Do you have anything to say to Jann?"
"...I'm sorry I accidentally turned you into a rabbit," sighs Milo.
"Hmph," says Jann, but he follows this with, "I accept your apology. Why is there even a rabbit carpet?"
greatcomposure
"It used to belong to a wicked witch, I believe. She had a peculiar sense of humour. When she was defeated by a pair of clever children, we had anything of hers that still worked put into storage, to prevent the kind of mischief that might ensue if it was left unattended in her old cottage. Milo wasn't born yet at the time, so we neglected to account for him. Now what's this about a magic sword?"
"The new magic sword, the one that hero dropped off on his way through, that nobody knows what it does, it's on the table under the shelf with the carpet and the carpet's half off the shelf and it might fall on the sword and that would be bad," says Milo.
"Yes. That much is true. I'll have someone move the carpet," says Celyta. "Safely. And you are not to go into those parts of the treasure room anymore without an adult."
"But," Milo begins indignantly. His mother raises her eyebrows. He shuts up.
"You can, of course, be allowed back in if you demonstrate that you are responsible enough to handle the magical treasures safely."
"I never had any problems until just now!"
"Which is very lucky, but just now, I remind you, you accidentally turned your cousin into a rabbit."
"The new magic sword, the one that hero dropped off on his way through, that nobody knows what it does, it's on the table under the shelf with the carpet and the carpet's half off the shelf and it might fall on the sword and that would be bad," says Milo.
"Yes. That much is true. I'll have someone move the carpet," says Celyta. "Safely. And you are not to go into those parts of the treasure room anymore without an adult."
"But," Milo begins indignantly. His mother raises her eyebrows. He shuts up.
"You can, of course, be allowed back in if you demonstrate that you are responsible enough to handle the magical treasures safely."
"I never had any problems until just now!"
"Which is very lucky, but just now, I remind you, you accidentally turned your cousin into a rabbit."
"When is the new moon?" asks Jann. "I don't know how long moons take to wear out."
"Okay," sighs Jann.
"You're fluffy," Milo observes.
"I'm a rabbit," Jann says, nose atwitch with rabbitude.
"You're a fluffy rabbit."