walk with a walk that is measured and slow to the place where the street begins

candle-in-the-dark

"You might have already thought about this but I'm willing to endure some awkwardness on the chance that you haven't and I'd feel bad if I didn't bring it up but why don't you wear earplugs? To free up your hands."

riding-out-the-clock

Because I don't have earplugs?

Communication is exhausting and never worth it.

You shrug your shoulders.

candle-in-the-dark

The two of you sit in awkward silence for a moment, until she says "okay" and goes back to her phone.

"Sorry for bothering you."

riding-out-the-clock

No, you're sorry for bothering her.

You feel like you did something wrong, somehow, although you're not sure what.

riding-out-the-clock

The bus pulls into the bus loop.

riding-out-the-clock

It just now occurs to you that giraffe-girl is between you and the exit.

Furthermore: at some point during the ride giraffe-girl ditched the hat and coat, and took off her gloves. She'll want to disentangle those and put them back on.

So unless she moves with your customary haste--starting now--the equally eager people in the rows behind you--on their feet before the bus stops, pushing and shoving to escape their confinement five seconds sooner--are going to overrun your position. You'll be trapped behind people filing past. You'll leave after the kids in the very back.

candle-in-the-dark

Giraffe-girl is puttering about collecting her stuff.

riding-out-the-clock

If you had to borrow someone's seat, you'd keep your gloves on the whole time. You wouldn't want to put them to any trouble.

riding-out-the-clock

riding-out-the-clock

It doesn't look like she's in any particular hurry.

You hold your binder close and despair.

riding-out-the-clock

But at least you can be ready to go when she is.

Tense as an Olympian runner waiting on the starting pistol, you face the aisle with one foot on the floor and--because the other doesn't fit--one knee on the bench.

candle-in-the-dark

riding-out-the-clock

candle-in-the-dark

"Sorry for holding you up!"

candle-in-the-dark

"And for being loud."

riding-out-the-clock

In Fablehaven: Grip of the Shadow Plague, magic creatures are affiliated with either light or darkness. Light things are often kind or helpful, where dark creatures are often cruel and dangerous. There are even magic curses which can change a creature's light-darkness affiliation, one-eightying their whole personality and all their values. But a distinction is drawn, by one of the characters--an old man, whose life's work was protecting a place where different magic creatures could live safe from humans and each other--, between "dark" and evil.

A dark creature simply acts according to its nature--no more morally culpable than a hungry bear. If a bear ate your leg, you'd be upset with the whole situation, but--goes the claim--you wouldn't blame the bear the way you'd blame a human.

Magic creatures are a fact of life, in the world of Fablehaven, like bears and inclement weather. You can appreciate them on their own merits--from a safe distance--and you can even want the best for them. But you won't get anywhere by expecting them to be something other than what they are, or condemning them for not.

And that's why you'd lying if you said you accepted giraffe-girl's apology. You don't consider her a moral agent in the relevant way.

riding-out-the-clock

Giraffe-girl is gathering her things more rapidly now.

You feel guilty of this. Well, you are guilty of it, which you feel guilty about.

You regret that giraffe-girl's morning has been worse for having you in it.

riding-out-the-clock

And for what.

The bus is still slowing, but already there are those out of their seats and moving forward.

Most humans have zero qualms about elbowing themselves into a moving crowd, packing in tight like the atoms of a neutron star, cutting each other off. But you find the idea aversive. Giraffe-girl will get off the bus quicker for having scrambled for her stuff, but that wasn't a priority of hers.

This is why you dread Christmas and your birthday--thoughtful people going to unasked-for lengths to deliver subtly useless gifts.

riding-out-the-clock

Or maybe your mistake is taking her apology as anything more heartfelt than a social lubricant. She wants off this bus, to get away from you, and then she'll get on with her day because you're not the center of her universe.

riding-out-the-clock

Giraffe-girl--awkward on her feet--rises, her eyes on the rows which were behind her, but doesn't elbow into the crowd until the vehicle comes to a complete halt.

You watch with dispassion. It's too late for anything you do here to matter.

candle-in-the-dark

Giraffe-girl stands in the aisle beside (and just a hair behind) you.

And stops.

riding-out-the-clock

There are dozens of people behind her.

candle-in-the-dark

She meets your eye.

She looks at the door.

riding-out-the-clock

You don't need to be told twice.

riding-out-the-clock