Elspeth is glad that Milliways likes her, because she likes it. Jacob at her side and a glass of this nice golden stuff in her hand (she's tried the other synthetics; they're nice for an occasional change, but only humans care about dietary variety that much and this one is her favorite) and hubbub from a hundred worlds around her: lovely. A lovely break from work that keeps no one waiting, that doesn't even throw off her sleep cycle because her sleep cycle cares about the sun. (It throws off Jake's, a little, but his is more flexible than hers.)
"Oh, probably not," he says. "No promises. But I like you, and I don't wanna make your life difficult. And your imperial timer here is cute as a button."
"Why," Bella says, "would it be undesirable to have you as a vampire? Because you realize that if you die you are more likely than not to render my imperial timer here somewhere between dead and eternally miserable."
"And if you make me a vampire I'll probably kill myself," he says cheerfully. "Which is why you," he taps the end of Nathan's nose, "don't want me to be one. See?"
"Babe, no, why would you do that?" exclaims Nathan.
He laughs and shakes his head. "It's complicated," he says fondly. "Don't worry too much about it. I'll stay nice and safe for as long as it takes to work all this out, just as long as nobody tries to change my mind or my species, okay?"
"Do you have particular feelings about mind-reading that involves no mind-changing?" Bella asks neutrally.
"Well, I like to know about it," he says, and grins expectantly at Edward. Because really. That was obvious. He's not mad, though, it's cute.
"Unless you authorize them to share," Nathan says.
"So... not a good time to propose marriage?" says Nathan wryly. "Heh. No it's not. Not for years, if I ask on that scale..."
"Aww, I do love you," he says, grinning at Nathan. "You're very lovable. But I don't wanna marry you and I don't wanna vampire-marry you either."
"How charming," says Bella. "Well. Nathan, why don't you give your mate a tour of Safesun until he wakes up; Elspeth will include you in the notice if she finds a door to Milliways, we'll figure out what to do somehow."
The Empress and her husband and bodyguard depart the room with the level, precise walk of vampires.
Nathan's certainly not going to interrupt snuggles. He (carefully carefully carefully) scoops his mate right up off the floor. "So this is the Princess's office," he says, and then he heads out the door and in the opposite direction down the corridor from the Empress and her contingent. "The entire PRPR department is down here; they handle turning people and telling folks everything that you know is a lie, vampires and magic and werewolves oh my, and making sure that Her Majesty doesn't do anything particularly tactless without having a really good reason."
"I try. And I'm trying very, very hard to make a good impression, 'cause any scenario where I don't could go very badly," says Nathan, belying his light tone.
A head peeps out of the door to the department. She looks like the vampire equivalent of somebody's housewife, wearing a PETA t-shirt and floral skirt. She glances between Nathan and the Joker. "Huh," she says to Nathan. "Didn't know you swung that way."
"Neither did I," shrugs Nathan, "but so little swinging's been going on, how would I know, I've been nearly as uninterested as you till now, maybe you'll get a surprise one day too. I like whatever he is. Babe, this is Addy, Imperial Factotum."
"I don't think I like anybody in gooey matey ways," says Addy, unconcerned.
"Aw, pfft," says Addy. "Nothing."
"She was checking to see if you had any magic she could copy," Nathan explains to the Joker.
"He doesn't want to," says Nathan quietly.
"Well," says Addy, "then when he leaves you all alone see if you can go Marcus's route instead of Jasper's or just offing yourself, all right, and then you can sit in a room in the basement and I can visit you on Tuesdays with cups of blood and we can still use the timer?"
"I'll see what I can do," says Nathan cheerlessly.