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Elspeth is glad that Milliways likes her, because she likes it. Jacob at her side and a glass of this nice golden stuff in her hand (she's tried the other synthetics; they're nice for an occasional change, but only humans care about dietary variety that much and this one is her favorite) and hubbub from a hundred worlds around her: lovely. A lovely break from work that keeps no one waiting, that doesn't even throw off her sleep cycle because her sleep cycle cares about the sun. (It throws off Jake's, a little, but his is more flexible than hers.)
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manofmyword
The Joker laughs.
"Hello to you too," he says. "Friendly locals you've got around here," this mostly to Jacob and Elspeth.
"Hello to you too," he says. "Friendly locals you've got around here," this mostly to Jacob and Elspeth.
her_imperial_radiance
"It's not usual," says Elspeth. "...Nathan, did you just happen to -"
"Nope! Trusty timer," says Nathan, "brought me here. Best time all week to drop by your office, Princess. But I never know why till I show up. What's your name, babe?"
"Nope! Trusty timer," says Nathan, "brought me here. Best time all week to drop by your office, Princess. But I never know why till I show up. What's your name, babe?"
manofmyword
"Hmm," he says, "did I bring another one," and he tilts his head thoughtfully and searches his pants pockets, and comes up with a second joker. Which he kisses and hands to Nathan.
her_imperial_radiance
Nathan kisses the card too (carefully, he doesn't want to dissolve it) and then inspects it. "All it's missing is your phone number," he remarks, winking.
"I'm telling Mama," says Elspeth, closing her eyes.
"Go right ahead, Princess," says Nathan, hovering right between sarcasm and sincere respect with the tone of that title.
"I'm telling Mama," says Elspeth, closing her eyes.
"Go right ahead, Princess," says Nathan, hovering right between sarcasm and sincere respect with the tone of that title.
her_imperial_radiance
"Gonna swipe a set of pamphlets, Princess," Nathan says over his shoulder, "explain to -" He deliberately looks at the back of the playing card, winks, and goes on, "mister registered trademark of Bicycle Playing Cards here, what has just happened." Lightning-quick he's at the stacks of pamphlets in their file folders behind Elspeth's desk, and he chooses a selection and hands them to the Joker like a bouquet.
her_imperial_radiance
Nathan can help! He opens up a pamphlet, stuffing the others in the Joker's pocket for him with gentleness and not overmuch groping of the corresponding thigh. "PRPR 1-A," Nathan reads dramatically, "introduction to vampires. Section Three: Mates!"
"Mama's on her way," reports Elspeth.
"Mama's on her way," reports Elspeth.
manofmyword
The Joker continues to laugh, clasping his hands together and hugging them to his chest and listening attentively (with giggles) to Nathan's explanation.
her_imperial_radiance
Nathan reads through the section like it's overdirected Shakespearean blank verse, even though the prose is quite straightforward and spare, and while he has the pamphlet open, he memorized it instantly on looking at the page and doesn't actually consult it: he just holds level, unblinking eye contact and smiles through the recitation.
The section explains how mates work.
The section explains how mates work.
her_imperial_radiance
"The specialest," says Nathan. "I've been around for hundreds of years with a power that has obviously had it up its sleeve to show me where to find me a mate all along, and it waited for you!"
luminous_regnant
The door opens again.
"Well," says Bella, taking in the situation. "Isn't this a mess? What am I supposed to do with him attached to my Imperial Minister of Temporal Affairs? Work out a work-release program with Stella?"
"Well," says Bella, taking in the situation. "Isn't this a mess? What am I supposed to do with him attached to my Imperial Minister of Temporal Affairs? Work out a work-release program with Stella?"
manofmyword
"Mm," he says to Nathan, "just so's you know, sweetheart, this is me dreaming. I'm really asleep on an asteroid in another universe, and I might wake up and vanish any second."
He ignores the talk of work-release.
He ignores the talk of work-release.
luminous_regnant
"I trust my timer," says Nathan serenely. "Her Majesty knows how this works. She has to figure out a way to stash me someplace that has you in it or she doesn't have a Minister of Temporal Affairs any more, much as it'd pain me to turn in my two weeks. And my timer knows it too. All will be well. Call me sweetheart again, babe, pretty please?" he adds with a sigh.
"You may trust your timer, Nathan," says Bella, "but that in no way makes this uncomplicated. Stella had good reasons for putting the Joker on the asteroid, and she had much better containment resources to work with than I have."
"Complicated for you, maybe, not me. I'm just a poor helpless mated vampire seized by emotions beyond anyone's control, Your Majesty," says Nathan.
"A poor helpless mated vampire who could do his job perfectly well out of the hiding place, if necessary."
"You may trust your timer, Nathan," says Bella, "but that in no way makes this uncomplicated. Stella had good reasons for putting the Joker on the asteroid, and she had much better containment resources to work with than I have."
"Complicated for you, maybe, not me. I'm just a poor helpless mated vampire seized by emotions beyond anyone's control, Your Majesty," says Nathan.
"A poor helpless mated vampire who could do his job perfectly well out of the hiding place, if necessary."
her_imperial_radiance
"Mama, that'd be a PR disaster," says Elspeth. "Nathan didn't do anything, and his mate didn't do anything here, and what he did do wasn't any worse than dozens of things you issued amnesty for during the takeover."
luminous_regnant
Bella considers this input. "I do pay you for reasons only partially related to nepotism," she finally sighs to Elspeth. "Okay. Nathan? There will be no turning. Is that understood? Even if he asks nicely, the Joker keeps his pulse until I have gotten in touch with Stella."
"Does that include the medical emergency clause -" asks Nathan, suddenly not quite so cheerful.
"Yes."
"...Babe, you need to not suffer any lethal injuries, okay?" says Nathan.
"Does that include the medical emergency clause -" asks Nathan, suddenly not quite so cheerful.
"Yes."
"...Babe, you need to not suffer any lethal injuries, okay?" says Nathan.
her_imperial_radiance
"I've let Dwi know, he's issuing the general announcement to the coven," says Elspeth quietly.
manofmyword
"I'll try, sweetie," he says, patting Nathan's hand. "Anyway, you don't want me as a vampire, trust me on this one."
Nobody has told him anything else about vampires. He is going solely on Nathan's explanation of how mating works, and on whatever else he's observed directly.
That's a little odd.
Nobody has told him anything else about vampires. He is going solely on Nathan's explanation of how mating works, and on whatever else he's observed directly.
That's a little odd.
her_imperial_radiance
Nathan holds his hand absolutely still when the Joker touches it - not tense, just not trusting himself to move and so refraining from motion. "And don't even bleed around a full vampire unless it's only Carlisle, too, and - Why not, babe?" he asks.
luminous_regnant
"Elsie," says Bella, "go run around opening doors for a bit, will you?"
her_imperial_radiance
"All right," says Elspeth, and she lets herself out of her office, revealing Renata (staring into space) and Edward (also staring into space, but less happily) where they were left when they accompanied Bella to the scene.
manofmyword
"Even if I died right now I wouldn't be dead," he says, semi-reassuringly. "I'm dreaming, remember? I've tried getting killed at Milliways, it doesn't stick."
That is not an answer to Nathan's question. Perhaps he got distracted, or perhaps he doesn't want to give one.
That is not an answer to Nathan's question. Perhaps he got distracted, or perhaps he doesn't want to give one.
luminous_regnant
"Would I regret it dreadfully if I invited you to immigrate in a non-dreaming state?" Bella asks the Joker.
"Not if my timer's smart," says Nathan. "My timer's pretty smart."
"Regardless," says Bella, "it's not very responsive to questions that don't begin with the word 'when'."
"Not if my timer's smart," says Nathan. "My timer's pretty smart."
"Regardless," says Bella, "it's not very responsive to questions that don't begin with the word 'when'."