My business is the worst business and you have it. Here I come! I’ll take any big thing, small thing meant for hiding, widest thing, right in my beak and hustle it away from your permission, because I don’t agree with property and never have. Here I come again! You cannot anticipate me because your brain is so big and weighty and far from the ground, but my brain is aerodynamic and small and ground-sure and I have all I need in my wicked goose-body, and also I have your radio.
-I Am The Horrible Goose That Lives In Your Town

A merging of https://glowfic.com/characters/9621 and https://glowfic.com/characters/8361/