well here we are again
« Previous Post
+ Show First Post
Total: 473
Posts Per Page:
Permalink

"Whoever built this place had such insane priorities."

Permalink

"The portal will open and emergency testing will begin in three, two, one." The portal opens in exactly the same place it opened the first time.

Permalink

And through she goes.

Permalink

The corridor to the first test chamber is exactly as she remembers it, modulo who knows how many hundreds or thousands of years have passed.

Permalink

Sigh.

Does she perchance have to put a lumpy square on a button.

Permalink

"Cube—and button-based testing remains an important tool for science, even in a dire emergency."

It appears so.

Permalink

Plonk.

Permalink

"If cube—and button-based testing caused this emergency, don't worry. The odds of this happening twice are very slim."

The room shakes a little as mechanisms that haven't been activated forever start moving around it and half of the exit door opens, while the other half emits sparks and fails to do it completely.

Permalink

She is very small. She can fit through half a door no problem.

Permalink

And after that there is another door! This one opens fully, and on the other side there's a sort of—forcefield of some kind, which looks a bit like a thin film of electrified water and feels a bit like—

"Please note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grid will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it."

Permalink

Sigh.

"If there's anyone listening, now's your chance to deactivate this Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grid."

Permalink

Silence.

Permalink

"Suit yourself."

She deactivates the Emancipator.

Permalink

There are no complaints.

Permalink

Onward she goes.

Permalink

The elevator this time is sleeker, made of glass. Perhaps she's not in exactly the same testing track as the first one she saw.

Permalink

It seems she is not. Interesting that they can apparently run all by themselves. Or maybe whoever's in charge these days is just quieter than the machine woman.

Permalink

This elevator goes down instead of up.

"If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply an immediate pressure to your temples. You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the Material Emancipation Grid may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head."

Permalink

"Uh-huh."

Permalink

The next test chamber is the one where there is a room with a cube, a room with a button, and a room with the door, but this time instead of the blue portal cycling between them she can press buttons next to each of the rooms to make it appear in there.

Permalink

Solving puzzles is annoying but solving puzzles she has already solved is just tedious. Dum de dum. Cube, button, door.

Permalink

"Because of the technical difficulties we are experiencing, your test environment is unsupervised. Before entering a relaxation vault at the conclusion of testing please take a moment to write down the results of your test. An Aperture Science Reintegration Associate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt."

Fizzler!

Permalink

Nope!

Onward to the elevator with teeth and ear tubes intact!

Permalink

"If the Earth is governed by some manner of animal king, sentient cloud, or other governing body that either refuses to or is incapable of listening to reason—" The voice gets distorted at the end and cuts off abruptly.

Permalink

Oooookay.

Total: 473
Posts Per Page: