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Over the objections of the Hogwarts faculty- including an angry rant from Professor Fisher about 'incompetent bureaucratic morons', little of which was really appropriate for the ears of his young students- Professor Reed is taken away on suspicion of theft.
Anti-American sentiment intensifies, with whispers spreading about "those Yanks spying on us" and "stealing the Silverlight spell." People start eying Professor Fisher carefully, in the halls. (He ignores it, rather pointedly.) People write in to the Headmistress complaining; why did they bring in those Americans in the first place, why does that man Fisher still work there, similar nonsense. She develops a curt form letter assuring parents that Hogwarts hiring standards are of the highest quality, with a strong undertone of none of your business. The letters continue anyway.
Students graffiti the Transfiguration classroom with insulting suggestions for places Professor Fisher can take himself. Filch catches those responsible and they clean it up as their detention. McGonagall makes a displeased speech that night at dinner about respecting faculty and innocence until proven guilty. Some students listen.
After a week's gone by- it feels longer to all involved, particularly Tamara, but only a week- there's a new article.
Gilderoy Lockhart Apprehends Silverlight Culprit
By Russell Peasegood
Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defence League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award, has done it again!
Only recently released from St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, most wizards would need rest, more time to recover from the horrors of a Memory Charm gone wrong, but not Gildery Lockhart. Known throughout the magical world for his daring feats of magic, Lockhart is back in the game with a bang.
"It never made sense to me," Lockhart told the Prophet. "Why steal a wand of someone you're chaperoning? Of course you'd be under suspicion! She couldn't have hoped to get away with it. So, of course, I had to investigate."
Lockhart used his famed powers of deduction to locate prime Ministry suspects. In the course of interviewing them, he was able to identify the janitor who had stolen the wand. "Poor man wasn't right in the head," according to Lockhart. "Thought the wand made him special, powerful- attacked me when I tried to get it away- just look what he did to my cloak! But I got it back from him, never fear."
The wand is now in the possession of Ministry Officials, and will shortly be returned to its rightful owner, Miranda "Silverlight" Swan. Tamara Reed can be expected to be released shortly.
When commended on his actions, Lockhart said, "Of course, of course. Couldn't let the poor girl go without her wand- couldn't let the Ministry officials bungle it like that- something had to be done!"
Asked about his future plans, Lockhart told us, "Why, doing whatever good I can, of course. Britain needs all the wizards it can get right now!"
If Lockhart's past adventures are any guide, that will be quite a lot of good indeed.
As promised, the next day, Hogwarts sees two arrivals: Professor Reed, released by the Ministry, and Gilderoy Lockhart, Miranda's wand in hand.
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"In the interest of saving time, Veritaserum does not work on me." He waves at his not longer quite perfectly coiffed head. "It depends on what you know and believe as truth, you know. My knowledge of what is- is no longer solid enough to work."
He hasn't the faintest idea if any of that's true, but it sounds plausible.
He hasn't the faintest idea if any of that's true, but it sounds plausible.
chanuphis
It does sound plausible. And it doesn't work on her now either.
"What were you going to have me believe if it'd worked?" she wonders.
"What were you going to have me believe if it'd worked?" she wonders.
"It wouldn't do at all for people to know that I- Gilderoy Lockhart- had my Patronus broken," he explains glibly. "That I was rescued by an eleven year old when it failed. Horribly embarrassing, terrible publicity. I'm a famous adventurer, you know!'
chanuphis
"So you were going to have me think I'd seen you cast a Patronus and hold off the second one till I'd finished off the first?" she wonders.
He had been planning on some variant of he learned the Silverlight charm and valiantly defeated the Dementors while she happened to be present, but there's no need to include that tidbit.
"Makes a much better story, doesn't it? You're casting Silverlight- surprised from behind by another Dementor!- and then I heroically fend it off!"
"Makes a much better story, doesn't it? You're casting Silverlight- surprised from behind by another Dementor!- and then I heroically fend it off!"
chanuphis
"If we go back with conflicting stories Hermione will believe me, and she's even more famous than you are, now. Do you think we can agree on something, or do you want to find out who's more credible, you or Hermione Granger?"
He looks at her grumpily, but finds himself unable to deny that Hermione Granger is, in fact, more famous than him at the moment. Much though he dislikes it, he's been in a hospital for six years. It noticeably interfered with book sales.
"I'm sure we can agree on something," he says warily.
"I'm sure we can agree on something," he says warily.
chanuphis
"I do still need somebody to find Dementors for me to kill and take me to and fro because I'm eleven. I obviously don't actually need anybody protecting me from them, just somebody who's more than seventeen years old. Are you going to keep helping, or are you bored now you know you can't Obliviate me, or do I have to worry about you casting other spells on me, or what?"
He brightens a bit. He has something she wants! That makes this rather easier.
"I see no reason I would become bored of such trips," he says, sounding considering, "providing you were amenable to reasonable publicity, of course."
"I see no reason I would become bored of such trips," he says, sounding considering, "providing you were amenable to reasonable publicity, of course."
chanuphis
"Then maybe we have a deal. How about you encouraged me to try having both Patronuses out just in case that would work, and I tried it before we went into the woods and wouldn't you know it worked fine, and two Dementors weren't a problem and you never had to cast your own to begin with and you're very proud of me."
Of the options that appear available to him at this moment, coming out of this looking like he mentored and encouraged Silverlight, continuing to travel with her and bask in her limelight- he's heard worse deals.
"In that case, Miss Silverlight, I would say I am very proud of you indeed."
"In that case, Miss Silverlight, I would say I am very proud of you indeed."
chanuphis
"Okay. I'm probably going to stick to the literal truth, but I don't have to mention everything or tell it in the right order. And that can be the implication. As long as you don't get on my nerves." Pause. "Memory Charms - on anybody - get on my nerves - and now I know that you're still the sort of person who wants to cast them even after all that time in the hospital. But if you stop -" She shrugs. "Then I have better things to do than try to punish you."
"Of course, of course."
He doesn't think he can get away with pretending to be going on separate adventures while simultaneously chaperoning Silverlight after Dementors; he doubts this will lose him any fans. As nearly as he can tell, most of the wizards who would go on story-quality adventures have been wrapped up in the war for the past few years; he'd have little material in any case.
He doesn't think he can get away with pretending to be going on separate adventures while simultaneously chaperoning Silverlight after Dementors; he doubts this will lose him any fans. As nearly as he can tell, most of the wizards who would go on story-quality adventures have been wrapped up in the war for the past few years; he'd have little material in any case.
"There was supposed to be one, you know," he says, sounding aggrieved. "I don't know of more, anyway."
chanuphis
"Okay. We can go back to Hogwarts then. How did you find the place?" she asks, keeping hold of her chimaera wand but starting back towards the broomsticks.
"Through my connections at the Ministry," he says, trying to sound important. He doesn't really succeed. She knows so many of his secrets! It's making him rather irritable.
"I haven't exactly seen a list, you see, it's a Ministry thing- but there's at least a couple more. Farther away, though, I picked the closest one."
Lazy? Well, maybe a little.
Lazy? Well, maybe a little.
chanuphis
"That makes sense, since that way we could fly. Er - you can actually Apparate? Right?"
"I can Apparate," he sighs. Secrets.
He shudders. "It's rather unpleasant, I'd rather not Apparate just because. If we fetch our brooms, I can take us to Hogsmeade."
He humphs at her. Untrusting child. "I'll meet you at the brooms, then."
And, with a crack, he is no longer there.
And, with a crack, he is no longer there.