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Over the objections of the Hogwarts faculty- including an angry rant from Professor Fisher about 'incompetent bureaucratic morons', little of which was really appropriate for the ears of his young students- Professor Reed is taken away on suspicion of theft.
Anti-American sentiment intensifies, with whispers spreading about "those Yanks spying on us" and "stealing the Silverlight spell." People start eying Professor Fisher carefully, in the halls. (He ignores it, rather pointedly.) People write in to the Headmistress complaining; why did they bring in those Americans in the first place, why does that man Fisher still work there, similar nonsense. She develops a curt form letter assuring parents that Hogwarts hiring standards are of the highest quality, with a strong undertone of none of your business. The letters continue anyway.
Students graffiti the Transfiguration classroom with insulting suggestions for places Professor Fisher can take himself. Filch catches those responsible and they clean it up as their detention. McGonagall makes a displeased speech that night at dinner about respecting faculty and innocence until proven guilty. Some students listen.
After a week's gone by- it feels longer to all involved, particularly Tamara, but only a week- there's a new article.
Gilderoy Lockhart Apprehends Silverlight Culprit
By Russell Peasegood
Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defence League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award, has done it again!
Only recently released from St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, most wizards would need rest, more time to recover from the horrors of a Memory Charm gone wrong, but not Gildery Lockhart. Known throughout the magical world for his daring feats of magic, Lockhart is back in the game with a bang.
"It never made sense to me," Lockhart told the Prophet. "Why steal a wand of someone you're chaperoning? Of course you'd be under suspicion! She couldn't have hoped to get away with it. So, of course, I had to investigate."
Lockhart used his famed powers of deduction to locate prime Ministry suspects. In the course of interviewing them, he was able to identify the janitor who had stolen the wand. "Poor man wasn't right in the head," according to Lockhart. "Thought the wand made him special, powerful- attacked me when I tried to get it away- just look what he did to my cloak! But I got it back from him, never fear."
The wand is now in the possession of Ministry Officials, and will shortly be returned to its rightful owner, Miranda "Silverlight" Swan. Tamara Reed can be expected to be released shortly.
When commended on his actions, Lockhart said, "Of course, of course. Couldn't let the poor girl go without her wand- couldn't let the Ministry officials bungle it like that- something had to be done!"
Asked about his future plans, Lockhart told us, "Why, doing whatever good I can, of course. Britain needs all the wizards it can get right now!"
If Lockhart's past adventures are any guide, that will be quite a lot of good indeed.
As promised, the next day, Hogwarts sees two arrivals: Professor Reed, released by the Ministry, and Gilderoy Lockhart, Miranda's wand in hand.
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witch_please
Alli provides a number of unhelpful suggestions, all with a grin and in air-quotation marks, such as "least favorite Ravenclaw" and "most embarrassing memory." There's a couple more useful ones thrown in, though, like "what was your last dinner over hols," and "did your mum have a pet as a kid."
parental_guidance
"Anything about Muggles?" Emma suggests. "I don't know much about them, Alli probably doesn't either-"
chanuphis
"And I can lie to you hilariously. Okay, ask me anything about Muggle culture, that's fair game. That should keep you occupied. Are you ready?"
parental_guidance
Emma's not feeling creative. She picks a previously-approved question at random. "Did your mum have a pet?"
witch_please
Alli does not feel quite so constrained. "How does Muggle healing work? Oh, ugh, I should pick something... Broken arm, let's say broken arm."
chanuphis
Miranda looks consideringly at them, then says, "She owned a pygmy giraffe for six years until it got run over by a lorry. And Muggles believe that you can fix broken arms by applying tincture of rosemary."
witch_please
"Muggle equivalent of Quidditch? ...is there a Muggle equivalent of Quidditch?"
chanuphis
"They trade entirely in bits of string and dead leaves. One dead leaf to twenty bits of string. People who figure out that you can cut bits of string into smaller bits of string are millionaires."
chanuphis
Miranda snickers. "No. And with that I think I can be pretty sure that I am a proper Occlumens."
witch_please
Alli waves her wand. Tiny fireworks explode everywhere, suspiciously similar to the ones from Miranda's birthday. "HUZZAH!"
chanuphis
Miranda laughs.
And the next day Miranda sends Amber to Lockhart with a letter saying that she's concluded her academic extracurricular to her satisfaction and any weekend where she isn't sitting exams will be fine to go hunting.
And the next day Miranda sends Amber to Lockhart with a letter saying that she's concluded her academic extracurricular to her satisfaction and any weekend where she isn't sitting exams will be fine to go hunting.
Lockhart replies quite promptly. He apologizes that he already has a book signing lined up for this weekend- the demands of fame, you know- but would the following weekend work for her?
As agreed, Lockhart appears the following weekend, and goes to retrieve Miranda.