sad Cam in Milliways, with company
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"That seems like a problem we could solve some other way. Why are there assassins after your family."

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"Grandpa pissed off the mafia."

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"Would Oahkar law enforcement do anything about this if mailed extraordinarily convincing evidence."

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"Probably not."

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"What's the rest of your family doing -"

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"I don't know all of their strategies."

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"Do you want to be a gardener or is it just slightly better than being dead."

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"I like gardening. Probably would get sick of it if I had to do it twelve hours a day but there's that money thing here so I'm only doing six."

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"If the mafia finds you here after all is anyone else going to get hurt?"

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"The assassins are snipers, not bombers. I guess they could miss but they could miss anywhere."

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"If you know who I'd be looking for I could keep an eye out."

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"...what, like their names? I don't know their names."

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"That is not the only conceivable kind of identifying information but it would be easiest. Names of the people sending them? Places they've recently been? People they've previously murdered?"

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"Got my mom."

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"I can check for 'em every morning, arrest them if they show."

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"I don't know if it'd be the exact same assassin."

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"I can check for more people but I'd need some way to pick them out."

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"All I've got is 'assassins working for the mafia'."

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"I'll read the one guy's email and see if I get anywhere."

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"I don't think they're going to find me here unless you tell somebody."

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"I'm not going to do that."

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"Thanks."

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He leaves. 

 

Follows up with a boyfriend the next day. "This gardener told me the mafia's trying to kill him, killed his mother. Think we can get some names from that?"

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"Uh, I can get whoever killed his mom, but 'in the mafia' isn't a conjurable parameter."

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"Yeah, I know, I want to read mom-killer's emails and see if there's anything."

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