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Annie is on her trike on her way to school.
This van labeled HAZARDOUS MATERIALS is also on its way to school.
The van hits a patch of black ice. It goes spinning, it turns over, it slices itself open on a wrought-iron fence with spikes, and it disgorges boxes which smash open on the pavement. Some of them skitter clear into the slush.
Some of them - along with most of the van - land on Annie.
There is a whirl of bewildering pain and confusion -
- and she falls to the ground, injured and in more kinds of discomfort beyond that and moaning.
She slowly starts to heal before the eyes of her sole witness.
six artifact pileup annie in thedas
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keep_busy
first-and-final
"Not especially. Has someone found you bread and butter? Someone should find you bread and butter."
keep_busy
"I've, uh, actually been very awkward about asking for things because at home there are no social arrangements that would have me staying in a stranger's house being waited on, so I have no idea how to seek bread and butter. But of things that are usually easy to find in Orzammar I think they have a decent selection?"
first-and-final
"Well, I seem to recall something about you being betrothed to a prince," he says, yawning. "Anyway, I don't want bread and butter, I want you to have bread and butter. Should I get up and go arrange that?"
first-and-final
He snuggles up, smiling. "It's probably not the sort of expertise I can convey in a few simple instructions. I'll put on my golem suit and go bother someone. I really should get out of bed at some point today, anyway, I need to coordinate with Bhelen about who we're going to pretend actually had Trian killed, and I want to move back into the palace but I'm not sure it's the right time yet, I have to make sure Caridin can get by without me..." He yawns again. "Saving the world is complicated."
first-and-final
Snuggle. "Bhelen's a liar but he'll make a fine king as long as he doesn't let himself get in the habit of solving all his problems with assassination. And I think I got through to him well enough that he won't be coming after me. So the next steps on various paths of the save-the-world plan are getting Caridin settled in and caught up with modern engineering, reversing my exile... I'm not sure when to announce our betrothal but that fits in there somewhere too... and I suspect we'll end up pinning Trian's assassination on someone Bhelen wants rid of, I'll have to talk through that with him."
keep_busy
Nod, nod. "Most of the kings back home are figureheads and the people who actually run things are elected. I imagine it's a little harder to do politics when your pool of candidates isn't 'potentially anyone'."
first-and-final
"Technically the Assembly could elect anyone. But it would take an immense effort of coordination, and it's - disruptive."
first-and-final
"I'm not sure how to answer that. And if I'm going to explain dwarven politics to you - would you like an explanation of dwarven politics? - I should see about breakfast first. I'm clearly not going to let myself lie in bed all day."
first-and-final
"Excellent."
He gets up, puts on his golem suit, and goes to talk to someone from House Ortan and explain that Caridin's human guest would like to eat bread and butter. It doesn't take more than a few minutes, and by the time he's finished poking around in the kitchen, someone has arrived to deliver bread and butter for Caridin's human guest. Back to the bedroom he goes, with plenty of food for both of them, and when the door is closed he gets out of the golem suit again and starts eating.
"So - let's see - do you have a coherent summary of your system of governance available for me to compare to?"
He gets up, puts on his golem suit, and goes to talk to someone from House Ortan and explain that Caridin's human guest would like to eat bread and butter. It doesn't take more than a few minutes, and by the time he's finished poking around in the kitchen, someone has arrived to deliver bread and butter for Caridin's human guest. Back to the bedroom he goes, with plenty of food for both of them, and when the door is closed he gets out of the golem suit again and starts eating.
"So - let's see - do you have a coherent summary of your system of governance available for me to compare to?"
keep_busy
Mmmmmmmmbreadandbuttermmmmmmmmm. "Sure. Noregr has a king but it's mostly a ceremonial and celebrity position - people pay attention to him and he lives in a castle, but not because he has political power. I think he may formally have a little bit but it would be absolutely outrageous if he tried to use it outside of really extraordinary circumstances. Governance is handled by a group of fifty people who are elected by popular vote of all the adults in the country and serve three-year terms. They have a long elaborate process of coming to conclusions on non-emergencies and in emergencies the ones who have been around the longest form an emergency committee and conclude things faster. They sort of indirectly control the military and the courts and so on but there's some things they aren't allowed to touch like the press and religious stuff."
first-and-final
"I think 'it would be absolutely outrageous outside of really extraordinary circumstances' is a good description of the Assembly deciding to put some commoner on the throne," says Stalas.
He munches on some breakfast.
"So, the Assembly is a group of nobles, one to a House except for the really minor ones. They vote on certain matters of governance, sentencing of noble criminals, naming new Paragons, a few other things. A Paragon can be anyone, and once named they found their own noble House with its own Assembly seat, starting with themselves and their immediate family. The Assembly also confirms the succession every time there's a new king. It's nearly always just a formality to confirm the previous king's choice of heir, every so often they pick a popular well-supported noble instead, and then there was that one time they elected a commoner Paragon and king in a single vote, but things like that don't happen every day."
He munches on some breakfast.
"So, the Assembly is a group of nobles, one to a House except for the really minor ones. They vote on certain matters of governance, sentencing of noble criminals, naming new Paragons, a few other things. A Paragon can be anyone, and once named they found their own noble House with its own Assembly seat, starting with themselves and their immediate family. The Assembly also confirms the succession every time there's a new king. It's nearly always just a formality to confirm the previous king's choice of heir, every so often they pick a popular well-supported noble instead, and then there was that one time they elected a commoner Paragon and king in a single vote, but things like that don't happen every day."
first-and-final
"Well, Branka invented a kind of smokeless coal... Caridin created the Anvil of the Void but I'm not sure if that's what got him named Paragon or if he did something less exciting first... my ancestor Aeducan led the defense of the dwarven kingdom in the First Blight... basically, you get named Paragon if you do something incredible, worthy of respect, something other dwarves should aspire to."
first-and-final
"Depends. It might be all they can stomach just to reverse my exile and agree that I didn't murder Trian after all. But it's possible, I guess. Might make some things easier."
first-and-final
"When you're a Paragon, people argue with you less. I expect to live the sort of life that provokes a lot of argument."
first-and-final
"People are likely to disapprove of me marrying a human," he adds. "A lot of dwarves have trouble having children, I'm a noble and my father had three sons, it's sort of a waste - humans and dwarves can have children but it's even rarer than dwarves alone, and our hypothetical offspring would be noticeably human-ish. I find myself much less motivated by the responsibility to have children when I'm planning on making everyone immortal anyway, though."
keep_busy
"Oh, um. ...I don't have any strong feelings about having children, either way. Humans kind of have the opposite problem with fertility, I was actually taking a pill for it not because I was sleeping with anyone but because my mother thought it was a good idea on general principle for a college student, but it'll have worn off by now. Is humanishness a problem in itself or is it just that it would... be unlikely?"