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Annie is on her trike on her way to school.
This van labeled HAZARDOUS MATERIALS is also on its way to school.
The van hits a patch of black ice. It goes spinning, it turns over, it slices itself open on a wrought-iron fence with spikes, and it disgorges boxes which smash open on the pavement. Some of them skitter clear into the slush.
Some of them - along with most of the van - land on Annie.
There is a whirl of bewildering pain and confusion -
- and she falls to the ground, injured and in more kinds of discomfort beyond that and moaning.
She slowly starts to heal before the eyes of her sole witness.
six artifact pileup annie in thedas
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The reply is confused whimpering.
Followed a minute later by "What - what language is this?"
Followed a minute later by "What - what language is this?"
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"...it's the common tongue of Thedas?" he says. "What language were you expecting?"
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"Noregrsk. I don't know how I - I can't see - I - oh god where am I -"
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"You're in the Deep Roads, somewhere under the Frostback Mountains. I'm afraid the best thing I can say for your current location is that we are not being attacked by darkspawn at this very moment."
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"I-I don't know where that is or what darkspawn are and I can't see or, or I don't think I can actually hear either, am - am I healing? I got hit by a van I don't know how many artifacts it was carrying they should have been wrapped up -!"
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"...Yes, you are healing," he says. "It's very disconcerting to watch, actually. Also, I can't imagine how you can have failed to hear of darkspawn, and I suspect you'll have a similar reaction if I ask what sort of artifact you mean."
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"At least - at least two, one to heal me and one for the languages... three, I can sort of... not see, or hear, but... I have a different sense... I haven't counted all the drawbacks yet... blind and deaf could be one or two... landing here is one... is it... um, is it really way too warm in here, or is that... just me?"
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"It's just you," he says. "The Deep Roads are actually kind of chilly when you're not near a lava pit."
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"Um, I think, oh god, let me start at the beginning. So. Artifacts. Are things that belong to people who die, which were the person's favorite thing. If you touch one, you get a benefit and a drawback. A popular one lets you find artifacts but makes you have to tell all your secrets to your favorite person. There's one that lets you identify artifacts but you have to sleep twenty hours a day. Most of them aren't that appealing. And I just got hit with a bunch of them and I think one of them might - have - done a thing where I - fall in love with the first person I see well not see but UGH," and now she's crying.
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"Um!" he says. "I'm - I'm sorry? I'd offer to hug you if I weren't covered in darkspawn blood... you shouldn't touch me, it's horribly toxic."
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"Well I've apparently gone and been touched for regeneration but I don't know if it handles toxins," she says miserably.
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"The darkspawn taint isn't just toxic, either, it turns you into a ghoul eventually. I just happen to be immune for complicated reasons. Good thing, too, or I'd be twitching and raving by now. Ancestors, what am I going to feed you... I would love to be able to say being blind and deaf and magically in love with a strange dwarf was your biggest problem, but unfortunately you're also deep underground in a network of caves and tunnels abandoned by all civilized people and infested with darkspawn. I've only survived this long because for complicated reasons I don't need to eat or sleep as long as I keep sniffing magic rocks."
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"Well, for all I know I have that too, I could have anything, at least if somebody had dumped the entire university collection on me I'd know to brace myself if I needed a bath... Unless I got something that handles balance and I don't feel like I did I can't walk very well. I'm probably a liability in here for you."
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"Yes, well, it's almost inconceivable that I'll survive down here even without you, so if I stay by your side and try to keep you alive I don't lose anything, whereas if I abandon you I lose all self-respect. Doesn't seem like a difficult choice to me."
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She dips her head, blushes, and smiles a very very little bit.
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"My name is Stalas Aeducan," he adds. "Formerly a prince of Orzammar, now exiled for a false charge of kinslaying."
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"I'm Annabelline Merry Swan. Annie for short. University of Noregr student up until I got hit by a van just now."
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"And I'm just going to guess you're as blank about Orzammar as I am about Noregr."
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"Well. Would you like to trade personal and worldly histories while we sit here waiting for the darkspawn to notice us and attack, or would you prefer to try moving around and see if we can get you a source of food?"
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"I, um." She pats the nastiest injury, on her leg. "I can probably walk as long as there's no cliff faces to fall off of."
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"Not around here, anyway. I can warn you well before we approach any lava pits. But if you'd rather wait until your - artifactual healing - finishes fixing you up, that's perfectly understandable."