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Annie is on her trike on her way to school.
This van labeled HAZARDOUS MATERIALS is also on its way to school.
The van hits a patch of black ice. It goes spinning, it turns over, it slices itself open on a wrought-iron fence with spikes, and it disgorges boxes which smash open on the pavement. Some of them skitter clear into the slush.
Some of them - along with most of the van - land on Annie.
There is a whirl of bewildering pain and confusion -
- and she falls to the ground, injured and in more kinds of discomfort beyond that and moaning.
She slowly starts to heal before the eyes of her sole witness.
six artifact pileup annie in thedas
keep_busy
first-and-final
But they cannot.
Stalas sighs.
"Caridin, could you give us a few minutes? I think this will go better without you."
"Of course," says Caridin. He steps out into the hall. Stalas shrugs out of his golem-suit - literally shrugs, and the pieces drop away in a silvery-white haze and pile themselves neatly on the floor, leaving him dressed in slightly ill-fitting clothes borrowed from House Ortan. Without the suit, he is unarmed.
The door shuts behind Caridin, and Stalas asks, "Why do you think I'm here?"
Stalas sighs.
"Caridin, could you give us a few minutes? I think this will go better without you."
"Of course," says Caridin. He steps out into the hall. Stalas shrugs out of his golem-suit - literally shrugs, and the pieces drop away in a silvery-white haze and pile themselves neatly on the floor, leaving him dressed in slightly ill-fitting clothes borrowed from House Ortan. Without the suit, he is unarmed.
The door shuts behind Caridin, and Stalas asks, "Why do you think I'm here?"
first-and-final
"Supporting me in what? I don't want the throne. I don't even especially want to be the power behind the throne, although I hate the idea a little less. I want Orzammar to be ruled by a progressive, honorable, intelligent person who is not me. You're progressive and intelligent. Pyral is honorable and less of an idiot than he could be. So if I can't come to an agreement with you regarding assassination and how it is not okay, my next best option is to take Caridin down the street and then spend the rest of Harrowmont's life patiently arguing him into better policy decisions, which sounds fucking exhausting; or I could make a bid for the throne myself, which sounds even more fucking exhausting and also fairly likely to end in civil war."
He pauses.
"...I do admit that the urge to gloat was not wholly absent from the decisionmaking process, but I've had my dramatic entrance, I'm done playing now. I need you to understand where I'm coming from."
He pauses.
"...I do admit that the urge to gloat was not wholly absent from the decisionmaking process, but I've had my dramatic entrance, I'm done playing now. I need you to understand where I'm coming from."
Bhelen stares at him as if he's grown a second head.
"You don't want the throne," Bhelen repeats blankly.
"You don't want the throne," Bhelen repeats blankly.
first-and-final
"Why the fuck would I? Ancestors save me from politics! Put me on the throne and I spend the rest of my life constantly chained to my overactive sense of responsibility. I'd much rather let you do the work while I go punch an ogre, provided I can trust you not to try to fucking kill me."
first-and-final
"Only to the extent that I don't want what you do to involve assassination. I think that's a pretty reasonable request."
"Assassination is the least of your problems if I pull a Trian and - what stupid thing would Trian have done, probably exile all of the casteless into the Deep Roads. That is a much bigger problem than an assassin, and you're not even - Do you understand how much power a king has?"
first-and-final
"Yes, I fucking do! But you're not going to exile all the casteless into the Deep Roads! If I didn't think you could make a perfectly good king without my active intervention, I would currently be speaking to Pyral Harrowmont, who probably can't but at least definitely won't have anyone assassinated while he's at it!"
first-and-final
Stalas sighs. "Because I know you, Bhelen. You blindsided me with the Trian thing, but I didn't find it fundamentally contrary to your being once I knew. Exiling all the casteless into the Deep Roads would be fundamentally contrary to your being."
"And you want me to be king. If I don't assassinate people."
He seems to be having trouble comprehending this.
He seems to be having trouble comprehending this.
first-and-final
"Yes. Because otherwise I'd have to do it myself, and I do not want to do it myself."
.... Bhelen now looks kind of like he would like to cry. He doesn't, because he does not actually want to cry right now and that counts for something, but he doesn't make it into 'stoic.'
"... Okay. So when you say 'no assassinations' you mean no assassinations at all? ... Not even members of the Carta?"
"... Okay. So when you say 'no assassinations' you mean no assassinations at all? ... Not even members of the Carta?"
first-and-final
"If you have members of the Carta you desperately want rid of, I'm sure we can work out an alternate solution. I'm not above laying false blame for Trian's death, for example."
first-and-final
"I am willing to help you find alternate solutions to people you would like to have killed; I am not especially interested in being your consulting conscience, although if you really think you need one I'll step up."
first-and-final
"I come yell at you and ask what the fuck you were thinking and then we go from there. I'm not going to try to have you deposed unless you turn out to be catastrophically, atrociously awful to an extent I truly don't believe is possible, because, again, if I thought it was possible I'd be in Lord Harrowmont's study right now."