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Mial gets mail.
Mial gets a lot of mail. It starts out as a lot of mail and builds up to huge drifts of mail, as word spreads; if he doesn't stay on top of it, it may spill out the windows and start appearing in the soup while dinner is fixed and embed itself in the carpet under the sheer pressure of all the other mail.
People want their relatives back. It is mostly dragons who want this, but not exclusively. A number of vampires wish to know if the pontiff has been informed of all this or do they have to write him themselves. (Apparently they're concerned about the possibility of the pontiff being buried in mail but obviously have no such regard for Mial.) Dragons want to know how the possibility of future shrens has been addressed.
Some pixies in Gibryel have written to him about their political problems, unclear on the nature of the miracles available. Someone wants him to "fix Ryganaav". Finnah's egg father has written a rather sentimental letter imploring Mial to intercede with Finnah on the grounds that "it seems this would really take a miracle".
Someone wants him to eradicate south flu. Someone wants him to eradicate their son-in-law. Someone wants him to eradicate dust bunnies. Someone wants him to eradicate Sand Dusk Chanters. Someone wants him to eradicate an obscure parasitic illness of the tropics, and in case he isn't willing to do that, there are several pages of lurid explanation of the parasite's mechanism and anecdotes about people who didn't make it to adequately trained lights immediately. Someone wants him to eradicate nutritional yeast.
A lot of people want miracle teleportation powers. A number of people are concerned that conventional warding might not hold against miracle teleportation powers and want to know what he's going to do about that isn't he an Esmaarlan.
A substantial fraction of the world's dragon population seems to think that their variously heartfelt, scolding, or bewildered correspondence will be what convinces That Which Means To Eternally Plague Us With Shrenhood to do so less Eternally, perhaps this coming Saanen or something, he could have a little party, everyone could celebrate the final disappearance of that nasty family-destroying agonizing disease? Who would want to be a disease? The stunt has certainly gained attention but surely he has enough attention now?
He has a lot of attention now. Letters in assorted envelope colors with little flags on them pop into existence over the coffee table, hit the pile, and slide to the floor.
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This one wants to make sure that he knows that no one expects him to remain a shren. He does not have to do it to make his voice heard or to demonstrate to now-miracled dragons that he is in their corner or to look like a martyr when he writes his memoirs. He can just stop. Any time. Are the miracle workers making him do this for weird offworlder reasons? He shouldn't have to go through this anymore.
shrennaki
Mial sighs. And files it in the shren alyemi box under "something less rude". And starts a "no, I will not murder your problems away" box for the son-in-law letter. And keeps sorting his mail.
Resurrection request, resurrection request, request for miracle teleportation, concerned dragon, concerned vampire, concerned vampire, health issues (another obscure disease he's never heard of), resurrection request, resurrection request, resurrection request, health issues and resurrection request (someone lost a younger brother to an injury that would have been easily treatable with lightcraft if only the younger brother had not himself been a light). After some consideration, he re-files that one under Misc. Interesting Problems, because he bets Lazarus will have something to say about how to fix the problems of lights.
"I'm really going to have to figure out a way to handle all these resurrections en masse," he says. "And then I'm going to have to figure out a sensible and convenient way to transport people to and from the mass resurrection events with their recovered friends and relatives. Not everyone's going to be able to arrange their own transportation."
Resurrection request, resurrection request, request for miracle teleportation, concerned dragon, concerned vampire, concerned vampire, health issues (another obscure disease he's never heard of), resurrection request, resurrection request, resurrection request, health issues and resurrection request (someone lost a younger brother to an injury that would have been easily treatable with lightcraft if only the younger brother had not himself been a light). After some consideration, he re-files that one under Misc. Interesting Problems, because he bets Lazarus will have something to say about how to fix the problems of lights.
"I'm really going to have to figure out a way to handle all these resurrections en masse," he says. "And then I'm going to have to figure out a sensible and convenient way to transport people to and from the mass resurrection events with their recovered friends and relatives. Not everyone's going to be able to arrange their own transportation."
"You gave that one family miracle teleportation. Does that not scale up?"
shrennaki
"I have an entire sub-box for people who are specifically concerned about what widespread miracle teleportation will do to standard warding paradigms. I could deliberately design the mass version of miracle teleportation to be politely answerable to wards, I guess, I don't actually know offhand if the version I've been giving out will obey them or not. Might depend on the specifics of the ward."
"Seems like it'd be good to know."
shrennaki
"Yeah. I'm going to consult Lazarus and that garnet guy about it. When I'm done sorting my mail." He eyes the remaining pile and grabs another letter.
"That garnet guy is a prick," comments Finnah.
shrennaki
"Granted, but he volunteered to show Lazarus all the magic there is, so I'm going to assume he's a useful prick unless he flakes out on that project."
This one, he discoveres, is actually literally addressed to shren alyemi. He snorts and holds it up for Finnah to see.
This one, he discoveres, is actually literally addressed to shren alyemi. He snorts and holds it up for Finnah to see.
Finnah snorts too. "Mail system knows where shren alyemi's at, lucky you."
It is only an average amount of rude. Actually there's sort of a peculiar respect to it; the writer seems to consider Mial some sort of villain, certainly, but the kind of villain you have to take seriously.
shrennaki
It's almost charming, in a way. He files it with the 'something less rude' set and moves on to the next bunch of resurrection requests and people who want magical powers and resurrection requests and people who want him to get rid of diseases and resurrection requests and people with political concerns and resurrection requests and people who want him to murder their problems away and resurrection requests.
And then there are no more letters in the pile. "Have I missed any?" he wonders, looking around.
And then there are no more letters in the pile. "Have I missed any?" he wonders, looking around.
Finnah fishes one out from between the sofa cushions. It is from someone who thinks the planet would be prettier if it were pentagonal and had plants on the sides and bottom. She also spots one under a chair. This one complains about how inelegant it is that the square root of two is irrational, will he please fix that, one point four would be nice.
shrennaki
They can both be filed under 'people I cannot help'.
"There, done. I think in future I will send all my mail to my room and then sort it via miracle. Now to start actually answering them..."
He fishes out that one letter about Sand Dusk Chanters and takes it to his mom's office.
"There, done. I think in future I will send all my mail to my room and then sort it via miracle. Now to start actually answering them..."
He fishes out that one letter about Sand Dusk Chanters and takes it to his mom's office.
Finnah, apparently abandoning her nap plans, turns into a bird and sits on his shoulder to witness this.
shrennaki
"Some Thanetan thinks that the solution to the problem of New Disciples of the Generous Lord still existing in Iraam is for all of them to stop existing, and I'm wondering whether and how much it would undermine my dignity as a miracle worker to mock him. And how best to mock him, that too."
greatcomposure
...Koridaar snorts.
"You're going to have a very dull career as a miracle worker if you don't let yourself have any fun."
"You're going to have a very dull career as a miracle worker if you don't let yourself have any fun."
"Somebody didn't do their research," snickers Finnah.
greatcomposure
She grabs pen and paper and writes a response:
Thank you so much for bringing Iraam's persecution of the New Disciples of the Generous Lord to my son's attention. I'm sure he will consider the problem carefully and arrive at a fair solution. I'm also sure his solution will not be to eradicate all members of my faith.
"I feel like this strikes a nice balance," she says, showing it to Mial.
Thank you so much for bringing Iraam's persecution of the New Disciples of the Generous Lord to my son's attention. I'm sure he will consider the problem carefully and arrive at a fair solution. I'm also sure his solution will not be to eradicate all members of my faith.
"I feel like this strikes a nice balance," she says, showing it to Mial.