"Well. I think I would like to solve this problem somehow."

"You look like you're contemplating editing Draconic. Don't edit Draconic," says Mial. "But, I don't know... could you design an alternative? To apply to, say, me. Since I am probably the only remaining shren by now, or I will be soon, and I am therefore the person most substantially affected by the ways in which Draconic is terrible."

"I will not edit Draconic," Lazarus promises. "I... could design an alternative, yes. What properties should the alternative have? It seems like the main problem with Draconic is that it insistently decides your connotations for you, at least in this particular case..."

"Often with regular words about evergreen shrubbery or whatever it doesn't do that and will work approximately the other way around," says Finnah. "Sometimes it will even pop up with new - as far as we know, anyway - words if we have things to say that need exact shades of meaning that didn't ever come up before. And new words when things are invented, although those often work like ordinary loanwords at first. The problem is that it hates shrens."

"Yes. I could design an alternative that does not have opinions of its own," he says. "So it wouldn't insistently decide your connotations for you."

"And we could insistently decide our own connotations, instead? Or, well, I could. Finnah, do you want in on this too?"

"I have no idea how miracle language conjuration works. I wanna know more about how miracle language conjuration works before I lodge it in my skull."

"It doesn't exactly work in a way," says Lazarus. "I have miracle magic, which lets me accomplish nearly arbitrary things as long as I have enough of it. If I use it to do something, then the thing happens. Turning a shren into a dragon, or a dying dragon baby into a dragon baby who isn't going to die, or making shrens not contagious, or making dragons stop dying of sudden magic failure - that is what dragon death by old age was, is all of a sudden their magic would just up and vanish and you need that to live - I have been fixing a lot of dragon-related problems since I came here."

"Well, then I want to know more about what exactly the plan is here," says Finnah. "I mean, probably I'll be able to speak the language even if you don't specifically do anything to me, right? What's the extra step?"

"Draconic is... attached to you, magically. I could attach the other one to you instead," he says. "And then the thing that happens where Draconic insistently decides your connotations for you would... be less. It would be a feature of some language you happen to speak, instead of a feature of your language."

"Yes, that is exactly the thing that I want," says Mial.

"...I might want it after I've gotten a taste of the new language while it is not yet attached," says Finnah.

"That seems perfectly reasonable," says Lazarus. "Hmm. Is the lack of opinions the only revised feature the new language needs? It also needs a name, but I expect it will take care of that by itself once it exists."

"I think a mere lack of opinions should do it," says Mial. "I'm also perfectly willing to be an ongoing test subject if it turns out not to work right on the first try."

Finnah chirps agreeably.

"I will also," Lazarus decides, "make it a feature of the new language that anyone who has the capacity to speak it can choose to attach themselves to it anytime they want. Or switch back to regular Draconic if they decide to do that for some unfathomable reason."

"Very convenient," says Finnah. "For some reason I'm reminded of my manager rearranging the displays to increase 'shoppability'..."

"I would like this language to be available to anyone who wants it. People should not be stuck with Draconic," says Lazarus. "Okay. Ready, Mial?"

"Yeah, go for it."

Finnah giggles. "No unanticipated disasters? You can still think straight about shrubs?"

"Shrubs are totally unaffected—holy shit," he says. "Oh my God. Finnah. Finnah. Shrennaki."

Finnah falls off his head and lands lightly on the ground.

"This is the best thing that's ever happened to me. ...Uh, are you okay?"