Sparkles mates on Milan
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"Uh, it's - a plane, people live here, we have - wizards and fae and dragons and gods and ogres and demons, though the demons aren't native, and merfolk and kobolds and dwarves and elves, and trees and parrots and cats and dogs and TV and the aethernet and cookies and pudding and toast..."

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"Aethernet is magic? Gods are... real?"

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"...yyyyes?"

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"Gods are made up where I'm from. Did they create the plane?"

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"...no, hang on, still stuck on 'gods are made up where you're from' - are you sure - I suppose you must be sure, you wouldn't go around saying things like that if you weren't - do you need a safety talk on how to interact with a plane inhabited by gods, I think you might -"

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"...safety talk?"

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"The short version is: do not fuck with the gods, they are more powerful than you and it will not end well."

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"...should I want to fuck with the gods?"

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"No. You should not. The gods provide many benefits to the world, and also, fucking with them is a universally terrible idea."

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"...uh huh. Okay I think I may have words now."

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"I'd say 'that was fast' but apparently that's just how it goes."

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"I have an eidetic memory and superhuman senses and my native language sounds more or less like yours with sounds switched around," is what he starts with.

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"Yeah that's weird."

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"I was bad at languages when I was a human and I'm comparatively bad at languages now but I'm still much much better than a human and your language was easy mode. And one of the features of the species I currently am—I hesitate to find its name in Pax because you might draw wrong conclusions from it—is that when we lay eyes on a person we're mutually romantically compatible with we know it immediately by way of falling in unbreakable eternal magic love with them.—I did take a bit to notice what was going on at first. And for that matter—why do you have these scars, I'm having a hard time not whining about them and wanting to find the one responsible and giving them a piece of my mind—"

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"...okay," he says, "as oddly charming as that urge is, you definitely need to not do that and I'm not going to explain until I'm satisfied that you won't."

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"—I won't, I'd never—I'm not going to say I'd never do anything you didn't approve of, there are circumstances—but a general rule of thumb is that I'll never do anything you don't want me to do."

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"Are you aware of how astonishingly unsettling that is."

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"Yes but overall I think it was a really good trade—uh, my species is completely unaging, mostly immortal unless you tear us to pieces and set them on fire which is super hard because superstrength and superspeed and supersenses and super resilience and I'm more immortal than baseline because I have generalised biokinesis, I can even regrow limbs and become much less flammable—there's the senses, the memory, the enhanced cognition, the not needing to sleep or breathe ever—and the drawbacks are that we sparkle in the sun except I don't because biokinesis, we subsist on blood and it's hard to resist it though I cheat on that too because I can just conjure blood directly into my throat, and the mate bond thing which is not that much of a drawback, if we're romantically compatible I'm very sure you wouldn't advise me against anything like that lightly."

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"...this is all starting to sound kind of way over my head," he says.

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"I'm sorry, should I—go more slowly—?"

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"No, I don't mean to say that I don't understand you, I understand you perfectly well, but if you're telling the truth - and you do seem to be telling the truth - this is the sort of thing that happens to a certain sort of person and I am not that person, I'm a history major, I don't fuck around with powerful extradimensional beings."

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"...do you fuck powerful extradimensional beings?" he asks hopefully.

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"Not habitually!"

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"Habits can be so easy to break."

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"No but seriously, this is heavy stuff. Like, 'down this road lies death by hubris' stuff."

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