They all glance at each other.

Aitim gets the door. 

"Hi blue Timothy!"

He helpfully telepathically relays this.

He flinches a little. " - I am unfamiliar with that form of communication."

He waits until this is relayed. "Nah that's okay we've gotcha it's magic. Can I come in and explain?"

"Of course," he says. This is more of a factual observation about the current state of affairs than an invitation but he manages to smile anyway.

"Cool.  - we'd have sent a you but they have red hair and there were concerns about your sanity."

"I am not quite sure what you mean. - is everyone else getting the translation effect -"

"Yeah should be." He walks in. "Wow. Are you all Catholic or something?"

"Uh, what's that."

"Religion with theological objections to birth control."

" - no. How does that work, wouldn't they all just get sterilized -"

"Uh, by who."

" - whatever government had to deal with them -"

" - why would the government care - I mean I think the government oppressed them but for unrelated reasons?"

"I feel like this is perhaps a side issue," says Shasali, "unless the Catholics are declaring war on us to have more room for their fifteen children apiece -"

"- the war's already over, you missed it. We won."

" - the war between the - Catholics and Anitam -"

"- no the war was with Melkor. I think maybe I should start at the beginning."

"That sounds like a great idea."

"So! I was born on a planet called Earth, where humans live, humans being my species. On Earth some people are normal and some are wizards, meaning we can do magic." He waves his wand and sends sparks flying. "By law we don't bother one another."

" - what kind of magic -"

"Lots of combat-oriented stuff, utility stuff like summoning things to me -" he demonstrates - "and giving magical properties to objects and brewing potions and so on. So some people disliked the rule that wizards and muggles leave each other alone - including my family, we didn't like it - and started lobbying to allow wizards to help muggles - they don't have clean water and they die of preventable diseases and they're mostly desperately poor, we wanted to be able to help with stuff like that - but of course some of the people on the lobby for letting us interfere with muggles just wanted to conquer them."

"Does this have anything to do with why we are in a lake and you look like Makel with alien hair," says Isama.

"It does, I'm getting to it. So we got on the bad side of a faction that wanted to conquer all the Muggles and she used a magic spell that was supposed to - and did, as far as anyone on Earth will be able to tell - erase the targeted area of land from existence. Instead it appears to have dropped us intact on another planet. That's this place. It's called Arda. So we find ourselves in the lake and we go out to meet the locals, who are a species called Elves, and it transpires that - they're us. I mean. Their King is called Nelyafinwë Maitimo -" he nods at Aitim - "and he has six younger brothers and a genius father who'd died in the war and his brother Macalaurë had a tragic fling with a woman who looks like my wife Rebecca, and who came with a daughter who looked like my Rebecca's Catherine. - in neither case did they think much of the father -" he glances at Peka.