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Slayer Lynne having a time
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Fire Bolt: attack cantrips are bad.

Fist: —sixty times over—okay, attack cantrips are still bad, but it is undeniably true that, as the Slayer, it would be tactically ludicrous not to take this.

Fog: she looks up from the book and just spends a minute daydreaming about being veiled in a misty cloud that conceals her from everything. Then she looks down and sees that it upgrades to Toxic. Why are these cantrips so mean all the time?

Forcedisk: ...why? (She glances down at the Tier 3 upgrades.) Oh. Murder, that's why. And... shielding against physical force, probably. Shielding against physical force is useful. Murder is also useful, she just really doesn't like it.

Gate: ...it's like Blink but worse? Mostly worse? Somewhat worse. There are tradeoffs. She doesn't feel drawn to it, anyway.

Ghost Words: What's with all this temporarily giving things minds? If she's going to give something a mind, she would really rather it be able to keep it! She's not at all sure she will ever want to give something a mind, but she is nevertheless pretty sure of that specific part!

Glow: ...it's a lamp. It's a... wait, Revelatory? Purifying?? Okay, it is more than a lamp. It's probably tactically invaluable to have a lamp that burns away evil, but she can't help thinking of Faerie Fire and being disturbed.

Goodberry: an obvious must. Even at baseline, that's one minute to conjure a Meal Replacement Blueberry, which means all food needs taken care of forever.

Grease: icky. Weird. Kind of upsetting. Is there a spell to conjure the opposite of a huge puddle of smelly goo? She wants that one.

Guardian: she thinks about the concept of a being that exists solely to protect her from harm. She stares off into space. She tries not to cry.

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Guidance: this seems like a cantrip that functions best for someone who has friends. Well, she does admittedly have a quest specifically commanding her to make friends. Maybe it would be... nice? To be able to help people? She can't actually imagine, in any kind of concrete way, what it would be like to have a friend who she could help with things.

Gust: she does not especially want to summon hurricane winds. It would be sort of cool, she supposes. Still... it's not literally an attack cantrip, but it is, at heart, an attack cantrip, and she's not here for it.

Haste/Slow: it's not exactly a conscious act of will. It's just that she sees Haste/Slow, and she processes the implications of Haste/Slow, and then she immediately takes Haste/Slow, because how could you possibly not take the spell that lets you do all your cantrip training thirty times faster???

"...well, fuck," she says aloud. (Language, young lady, says her inner Mr. Jameson.)

She has taken a cantrip. She has in fact taken... she squints at the page, which has added some extra formatting to highlight the areas where points were spent... thirty points worth of a cantrip, because she instinctively maximized its acceleration in all four Upgrade Areas, stopping just short of the Overmagic. When she holds this page and flips back, the start of the Cantrips section does indeed now say,
You begin with 240 points to spend. You have used 30 of them.

...perhaps for now she can dial it back down to a mere 1 point. She focuses, and deallocates...? Yes. The points are deallocated. Her used points total says 1, and the page for Haste/Slow says she's unlocked it but doesn't highlight any of the upgrades anymore.

Okay. That just happened.



She deallocates the last point, just to check that she can...

...and then allocates it again, because her impulsive self really did have a point there.

So to speak.

After some further thought, she reapplies the extra points. Accelerating training on Haste/Slow really does seem like an absolute no-brainer, the least-brainer of them all, the kind of tactical decision even a plant could probably make. A plant that has not been temporarily awakened to full sapience. Even Warp under Effect, which doesn't directly do anything she wants, removes the required focus on the cantrip and is therefore absolutely crucial if she wants to use Haste/Slow to train all her cantrips (she squints at the page and calculates) 150 times faster. Or, wait, does "minds can go five times faster" actually accelerate her cantrip training, or not? She'll just have to find out, she supposes. Maybe it can't let her train five times faster, but it can let her multitask more efficiently, which might let her train multiple cantrips at once.

The only aspect not directly useful for training is Target, but if she accelerates Target too then she can blitz through training it and her new favourite hobby can be meditating on Haste/Slow's overmagic whenever she isn't training cantrips instead. All those metamagic quests are looking so much more doable all of a sudden.

Okay. Okay. Back to the list. Where was she in the list? Right—
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Healing Hands: healing spells good. Healing lasers slightly weird, but healing spells good.

Heroism: at first it looks kind of nice, but then she notices that for some reason it also does random mind control. Sigh. And she feels kind of Faerie Fire about boosts to "courage, morale, and levelheadedness", too. Wait, it can shapeshift her to look more impressive and heroic? Why??

Hideaway: ...she stops herself from impulse-buying it, but it's a near thing. Yes please she would like to hide away in a cozy pocket dimension at will. She can train cantrips in there. And read books. And not have to deal with Absolute Fealty she probably cannot use this spell to escape Absolute Fealty.

Infestation: gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Investigate: oh, what a good power to have. What a... maybe concerningly tempting power to have. Maybe she will stop reading this cantrip now.

Jinx: oh. She's found it. She's found the cantrip she hates more than Acid Splash. Awful. Can she do the opposite of unlock it? Can she delete it out of the book? No, she shouldn't try to delete things out of the book.

Jolt: yep, it's another attack cantrip.

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Knock: oh, neat, a... lockpicking and/or door-busting spell. She doesn't feel very in need of busted doors. Maybe she will be more in need of them when she's trying to save an alien world. She's still feeling cautious about taking cantrips, though, even though she has now done it at least once.

Life Bubble: ...for when you have to go Slaying in space, she... guesses? Probably a good idea to take, though. Better to have and not need, and all that.

Lifelink: a healing spell for people with friends. No, that's not quite right. She could use it to heal people at a touch, which is neat. Still, she feels like Healing Hands was better. Also, reading the description of Bound under Target is just upsetting.

Lock: they rhyme. Maybe she can use it to lock her Hideaway against she probably cannot do that.

Longstrider: why is there an entire second spell that's like Blink but worse, and why is it so much worse than the first such spell? No, thank you, she would not like to get lost in the dimensional interstices, actually!

Lullaby: ...it's the least upsetting combat cantrip she's found so far, perhaps because it is also a healing cantrip. It is also, relatedly, not a very good combat cantrip.

Mage Armor: a spell to conjure clothes. N...eat? Neat. It would be nice to have a spell to conjure clothes. The clothes can also be upgraded to do cool things. That is also neat.

Mage Hand: oh, it's one of her free cantrips! It's highlighted already, with a little footnote symbol on all the free parts to denote that they're free. (She's so caught up in the formatting that she forgets to think about the spell.)

Magic Missile: that's definitely the name of a D&D spell. She can't tell if it's the same spell, though, she's never actually played D&D. This seems... like an attack cantrip. At some point she will have to reckon with her distaste for attack cantrips but now is not that time. At least this one is among the less distasteful ones.

Magic Weapon: the part about summoning a weapon at will is useful. The part about automatically knowing how to use it is indispensable, especially if she can use it to piggyback off the temporary(?) battle instincts and gain permanent skill improvements. It doesn't even say the battle instincts are temporary, not explicitly at any rate, but she's really not about to get her hopes up there.

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Mark: ...mildly... concerning...??

Mask: ah. Yes. This is one of those absurdly tempting concealment spells. Though it's also... very much a solid tactical option. Stealth Slayer? Stealth Slayer.

Mending: another one of the "transform the global economy" spells. Also just really useful.

Message: for people who have someone they need to send a message to. Possibly a hostile message? Possibly that's concerning actually. Possibly she's concerned.

Minor Illusion: ...she doesn't really want this cantrip to exist. At least the illusions aren't solid to the touch, so there's that.

Mirror Image: what a weird spell. She can see the tactical uses, kind of? She'd rather just use Blink if she's going to teleport, and Mask if she's going to confuse people about what she's up to. Then again, Mirror Image combined with Mask... maybe.

Mold Earth: kind of neat. Would probably transform the global economy. Maybe where she's going they have a better global economy, though.

Muffle: a Stealth Slayer spell. She could put it on a stake! She has no evidence that stakes will be useful where she's going.

Murk: ...she could just not use the mean upgrades. She could just not use the mean upgrades, and be Fogged and Murked and Masked all at once and no one would ever see her again... no, wait, the duration can't be upgraded... no, wait, yes it can, she just needs to advance the appropriate metamagic quest. She indulges in a brief fantasy of locking herself in a cozy dimensional pocket full of concealing mists and becoming totally unobservable. Totally unobservable sounds like such a great way to be.

Navigate: oh, cool. Neat. Useful. Not all that exciting, but useful.

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Pact: this spell heebies her jeebies. She can see how it might be theoretically useful under some circumstances but it heebies her jeebies so much.

Peacebond: absolutely the opposite of tactically useful, and yet, so tempting... so very, very tempting...

Penumbra: she will become so unobservable. And, also, extremely Stealth Slayer.

Phantom Steed: summoning spells generally seem sketchy but being able to go places quickly is cool. It's just so... not Blink, though.

Pocket: if you put a Pocket inside a Hideaway do you become twice as cozy she is pretty sure you do not. Undeniably useful, though.

Prestidigitation: what. What? What a weird spell?? And she's pretty sure this one also exists in D&D??? Did the people who wrote this book play a lot of D&D???? ...the utility is undeniable, though. Yes please she would like to be Clean Always Instantly Forever.

Purify: ah, for people who don't have Goodberry. Well, no. For people who may or may not have Goodberry but who also need to hydrate. Fair enough.

Raise Dead: absolutely not no thank you go away

Ray Of Frost: an attack cantrip. Maybe one of the least upsetting attack cantrips so far. Unfortunately all the least upsetting attack cantrips are also all the least useful ones.

Recollect: is there really anything about her life that she would like to remember more clearly? Can she get a spell for remembering less?

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Rune: ...there is a spell... that puts runes on things... and maybe they tell you something... or maybe they tie you up... or maybe they explode... or maybe they magically boost you somehow??? That is too many different things for a rune to do. Also, do they have to be specifically runes, and do they have to be specifically read? Because most people these days can't read runes, actually. She feels that this spell has not been fully thought through.

Scholar's Touch: oh, it's her other free spell! Hello, her other free spell. A good spell. Will make it even easier to complete her book quest.

Scour: eeeeeegh. Upsetting. Acid-Splash-tier upsetting.

Scribe: well the printing press already exists so it's not revolutionizing the global economy anytime soon but it's still neat. No, brain, stop thinking about writing entire books in seconds, that can't possibly be how this works and also the last time you tried to write a story it was really bad.

Seance: ...so, wait, how does this spell work with the thing where if your spell can't find spirits it creates them...? She remembers something about spirits of the dead, but not the details. She flips back to that page to refresh her memory. O...kay. She's not sure how to tell whether a spell summons dead people in their capacity as dead people, but the paragraph does at least answer her question, sort of.

Shape Water: she doesn't even know why she wants this one, she just wants it. Well, okay, being able to turn six hundred thousand gallons of water into healing potion and wave it around at will does sound handy for some very specific situations. And it's a good water purification spell without being quite as redundant as Purify. And on a much, much bigger scale...

Spirit Bow: Magic Weapon already exists. ...she does like archery, though... wait, at higher levels you just get a gun?? Why?? Okay, admittedly they do do the job of bows much better unless you specifically need a projectile made of wood. And you can cast a cantrip at a lower tier deliberately, right? Right.

Stabilize: kind of a niche healing spell, but really good for its niche. Oh, hey, and she can use it to prevent herself from shriveling into a crone due to living her life thirty times faster. Neat.

Thunderclap: it's not even that upsetting as attack cantrips go, it's just... a lot? It's so imprecise.

Tongues: an absolute must-have for dimensional travel. She dithers for a second, then unlocks it. She can decide whether to spend any more points on it than that later.

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Toughness: tactically invaluable for a Slayer on the go. Also synergizes with Fist. She is going to be so good at punching. She doesn't unlock it right away, though; it feels... like a big step, to unlock something that's directly about getting in fights.

True Strike: oh, wow, it's... not exactly another Magic Weapon, but definitely in that vein. How much better of a Slayer would she be, with this? But she's not unlocking it. Not yet.

Unseen Servant: okay, kind of useful. More than kind of. She's still not sure she's willing to get on board with summoning cantrips. But she could populate her hideaway with helpful blobs... she's just not sure she wants to get into the ethical implications of creating temporary beings who exist to serve her. That sounds like a dark wizard sort of thing to do.

Upgrade: it sure does upgrade things. Goodness. What does improving the functionality of an object by 300% even cash out to? Does it matter? The boost can linger... yeah, she wants this.

Vicious Mockery: the worst attack cantrip.

Vigor: an even better solution to the wizening problem, it looks like!

Warding Gesture: oh, this one's definitely good in a fight.

Web: eek?? Eek. In theory cantrips are supposed to avoid harming the caster but she's not sure she could bring herself to cast this one even so.

Wellness: oh, what a nice spell. Uncomplicatedly helpful.

Witch's Brew: well she doesn't love the name but she does kind of love the effect.

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Okay. She has read all one hundred cantrips, although in some cases she skimmed the upgrades.

One hundred cantrips, and not a one of them is Detect Cheese. If Detect Cheese appeared on this list it would probably have upgrades that turned the cheese into little cheesy minions or something.

She should organize this list. She wishes she could take notes... ooh, the desk has a drawer. Does the drawer have stationery?

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It does!

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Eeeexcellent.

It is time... to plan.

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—it's not that she doesn't still kind of think it's a trap. She does absolutely still kind of think it's a trap. It's just that, well, she has read this list of spells and she is now quite motivated to spend all her points so that none of them will randomly land on Acid Splash. And if she's going to spend all her points, she might as well spend them carefully, you know?

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Right. So. Planning.

She pulls one of the plain yellow legal pads out of the drawer—there's three—and grabs a pen to go with it. It looks at a glance like a Bic Cristal, but when she looks closer, there's no BIC on the side.

...she takes a moment to contemplate the sheer weirdness of someone, somehow, constructing a dimensional pocket stocked with ordinary mass-produced office supplies with the branding stripped. It just implies such a specific range of possibilities for what the forces that created this space could do.

Maybe they bought a pack of Bic Cristals and then Alter Object'd the branding off.

Anyway.

She is going to make lists.

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What lists does she need?

Call the first one "Utility". Haste/Slow is at the top, obviously, and Tongues goes on there too. Utility is spells that are not good in a fight but are good for living your life conveniently, and worth taking on that basis.

Utility
  • Haste/Slow
  • Tongues
  • Vigor
  • Goodberry
  • Shape Water
  • Purify (redundant with Shape Water and Goodberry?)
  • Prestidigitation
  • Alter Object
  • Upgrade
  • Mending
  • Unseen Servant (maybe????)
  • Mage Armor
  • Pocket


...she hesitates, about to put down Hideaway. She thinks maybe Hideaway belongs on a... different list.

Become Unobservable
  • Hideaway
  • Fog
  • Mask
  • Mirror Image
  • Muffle
  • Murk
  • Penumbra
  • Blink


Okay. Then there's...

Help and Healing
  • Blessing
  • Druidcraft
  • Guidance
  • Healing Hands
  • Heroism (troubling)
  • Life Bubble
  • Lullaby
  • Stabilize
  • Wellness
  • Witch's Brew


And...

Information
  • Arcane Eye
  • Investigate
  • Tongues
  • Commune
  • Detection
  • Divination (maybe)
  • Alignment (maybe)
  • Charm (not worth it)
  • Scholar's Touch


She crosses Tongues off Utility when she adds it to Information. Got to keep things tidy. Wait, should she move Vigor to Help and Healing? ...no, it belongs right under Haste/Slow, actually.
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Ugh, okay. she can't put it off any longer. It is time for...

The Slayer List
  • Fist
  • Toughness
  • Counterspell
  • Magic Weapon
  • True Strike
  • Featherfall
  • Forcedisk
  • Spirit Bow
  • Warding Gesture
  • Ray of Frost


She dithers for a long moment before deciding she is not yet ready to write down an attack cantrip more aggressive than Ray of Frost. Okay. What else...

...right! The metamagic quests!

Nothing for it, she's just going to have to patiently go through the whole list figuring out which cantrips are applicable to which metamagic quests and making sure she takes at least 24 of each.
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New page. New lists.

Focus Required: Alignment, Alter Object, Animal Friend, Arcane Eye, Banish, Charm, Cloudshape, Cog, Dancing Lights, Detection, Disguise Self, Divination, Druidcraft, Facsimile, Faerie Fire, Featherfall, Gate, Ghost Words, Guidance, Gust, Haste/Slow, Healing Hands, Heroism, Infestation, Investigate, Life Bubble, Lifelink, Lock, Lullaby, Mage Hand, Magic Weapon, Mask, Mending, Message, Minor Illusion, Mold Earth, Navigate, Penumbra, Phantom Steed, Prestidigitation, Purify, Recollect, Scholar's Touch, Scribe, Seance, Shape Water, Spirit Bow, Stabilize, Toughness, True Strike, Unseen Servant

Effect: Alarm, Alter Object, Animal Aspect, Banish, Blessing, Circle, Color Ray, Crystal Shot, Dancing Lights, Daze, Disguise Self, Divination, Druidcraft, Eldritch Blast, Facsimile, Featherfall, Fist, Fog, Gate, Ghost Words, Glow, Goodberry, Grease, Guidance, Gust, Haste/Slow, Heroism, Infestation, Knock, Life Bubble, Lifelink, Lock, Lullaby, Mage Armor, Magic Missile, Magic Weapon, Mark, Message, Minor Illusion, Murk, Navigate, Pact, Peacebond, Penumbra, Pocket, Purify, Recollect, Rune, Scribe, Seance, Shape Water, Stabilize, True Strike, Upgrade, Vigor, Wellness, Witch's Brew

Duration: Alarm, Alter Object, Animal Aspect, Animal Friend, Arcane Eye, Bleed, Charm, Cloudshape, Cog, Daze, Disguise Self, Druidcraft, Facsimile, Faerie Fire, Featherfall, Forcedisk, Gate, Ghost Words, Glow, Grease, Guardian, Guidance, Gust, Haste/Slow, Healing Hands, Heroism, Hideaway, Infestation, Jinx, Life Bubble, Lifelink, Lock, Longstrider, Mage Armor, Magic Weapon, Mark, Mask, Message, Minor Illusion, Mirror Image, Pact, Peacebond, Phantom Steed, Prestidigitation, Ray of Frost, Spirit Bow, Stabilize, Tongues, Toughness, Unseen Servant, Upgrade, Vicious Mockery, Vigor, Warding Gesture, Wellness

Method: Alignment, Animal Aspect, Arcane Eye, Banish, Bleed, Blessing, Blink, Blood Money, Charm, Circle, Commune, Counterspell, Featherfall, Gate, Ghost Words, Glow, Goodberry, Guidance, Healing Hands, Investigate, Jolt, Longstrider, Mark, Mending, Muffle, Peacebond, Purify, Raise Dead, Recollect, Rune, Scholar's Touch, Scribe, Seance, Stabilize, Toughness, True Strike, Upgrade, Vigor, Warding Gesture, Wellness, Witch's Brew

Range: Acid Splash, Alignment, Arcane Eye, Banish, Blessing, Blink, Circle, Color Ray, Commune, Counterspell, Crystal Shot, Dancing Lights, Detection, Divination, Druidcraft, Eldritch Blast, Fire Bolt, Fog, Gate, Glow, Grease, Infestation, Jinx, Jolt, Lullaby, Mage Hand, Magic Missile, Mending, Message, Mold Earth, Muffle, Murk, Navigate, Ray of Frost, Scour, Seance, Shape Water, Thunderclap, Web

Intensity: Acid Splash, Bleed, Charm, Cloudshape, Color Ray, Counterspell, Daze, Detection, Divination, Druidcraft, Fire Bolt, Gust, Haste/Slow, Healing Hands, Investigate, Jinx, Jolt, Knock, Lock, Longstrider, Lullaby, Magic Missile, Mending, Pact, Penumbra, Prestidigitation, Ray of Frost, Scour, Thunderclap, Upgrade, Vicious Mockery, Wellness

Target: Alter Object, Banish, Bleed, Blink, Cloudshape, Commune, Counterspell, Disguise Self, Featherfall, Ghost Words, Guardian, Haste/Slow, Heroism, Investigate, Jinx, Knock, Lifelink, Lullaby, Muffle, Navigate, Scholar's Touch, Scour, Tongues, Toughness, True Strike, Vicious Mockery, Vigor, Witch's Brew
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...oof. Okay. So she should... first of all, annotate all her other lists to mark which metamagic quests each cantrip contributes to, and then count up how much she's already got for each metamagic quest, and then figure out what else she can take that will contribute to each metamagic quest. Probably it's a good idea to rewrite her lists while she's at it, so they'll have less crossed-out stuff on them and so on.

She starts tearing out pages and organizing them on the desk: old lists to the left, pad with blank page in the middle, lists of metamagic contributors on the right... and the cantrip book itself also in the middle, farther up the desk than the pad. Okay. She is Organized. She is ready to Organize Further.

Utility
  • Haste/Slow (F E D I T)
  • Vigor (E D M)
  • Goodberry (E M)
  • Shape Water (F E)
  • Purify (F E M)
  • Prestidigitation (D I)
  • Alter Object (F E D T)
  • Upgrade (E D M I)
  • Mending (F M R I)
  • Unseen Servant (F D)
  • Mage Armor (E D)
  • Pocket (E)

Become Unobservable
  • Hideaway (D)
  • Fog (E R)
  • Mask (F D)
  • Mirror Image (D)
  • Muffle (M R T)
  • Murk (E R)
  • Penumbra (F E I)
  • Blink (M R T)

Help and Healing
  • Blessing (E M R)
  • Druidcraft (F E D R I)
  • Guidance (F E D M)
  • Healing Hands (F D M I)
  • Life Bubble (F E D)
  • Lullaby (F E R I T)
  • Stabilize (F E D M)
  • Wellness (E D M I)
  • Witch's Brew (E M T)

Information
  • Arcane Eye (F D M R)
  • Investigate (F M I T)
  • Tongues (D T)
  • Commune (M R T)
  • Detection (F R I)
  • Divination (F E R I)
  • Alignment (F M R)
  • Scholar's Touch (F M T)

The Slayer List
  • Fist (E)
  • Toughness (F D M T)
  • Counterspell (M R I T)
  • Magic Weapon (F E D)
  • True Strike (F E M T)
  • Featherfall (F E D M T)
  • Forcedisk (D)
  • Spirit Bow (F D)
  • Warding Gesture (D M)
  • Ray of Frost (D R I)


...and now she is going to... put her head down on the desk for a bit, apparently. No, she should be Organizing. She should be Organizing but instead she is flopped on top of her Organizing Papers. This is why Mr Jameson keeps telling her she's undisciplined. Ugh.
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After a minute or so, she lifts her head.

Right. Okay. How does she do this...

She starts a count, on the metamagic lists page below all the lists, and writes little tally marks as she goes over her cantrips.

F: |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| - 24
E: |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| - 25
D: |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| - 25
M: |||| |||| |||| |||| ||| - 23
R: |||| |||| |||| - 15
I: |||| |||| |||| - 14
T: |||| |||| ||| - 13


...she has to double-check a couple of those, because Es and Fs are hard to tell apart at a glance and because she thinks she might've spaced out in the middle of counting Ds, but in the end she gets her tallies. Okay. So she needs one more cantrip with a Method, nine more with a Range, ten with an Intensity, and eleven with a Target. To the lists!
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Cantrips with a Method: oh, right, Animal Aspect. That can go on the Slayer List, and it's E D M so now she has even more Effects and Durations.

Cantrips with a Range: Acid Splash no. Banish? Banish is okay. Slayer List, F E M R T, nice. What else... Circle is also okay, Slayer List, E M R. Perhaps unsurprisingly, so many of these are attack cantrips. Gate's fine. She starts a new list, "Metamagic Filler", and puts Gate on it, F E D M R. Glow can also be metamagic filler, E D M R. How many is that... four so far, five to go. She can take Grease and just never cast it, E D R. Put Magic Missile very reluctantly on the Slayer List, E R I. Message, sure, F E D R. Mold Earth, why not, F R. One more? One more. ...oh, of course, Navigate, F E R T, Information list! Okay, how are her lists looking now?

Information
  • Arcane Eye (F D M R)
  • Investigate (F M I T)
  • Tongues (D T)
  • Commune (M R T)
  • Detection (F R I)
  • Divination (F E R I)
  • Alignment (F M R)
  • Scholar's Touch (F M T)
  • Navigate (F E R T)

The Slayer List
  • Fist (E)
  • Toughness (F D M T)
  • Counterspell (M R I T)
  • Magic Weapon (F E D)
  • True Strike (F E M T)
  • Featherfall (F E D M T)
  • Forcedisk (D)
  • Spirit Bow (F D)
  • Warding Gesture (D M)
  • Ray of Frost (D R I)
  • Animal Aspect (E D M)
  • Banish (F E M R T)
  • Circle (E M R)
  • Magic Missile (E R I)

Metamagic Filler
  • Gate (F E D M R)
  • Glow (E D M R)
  • Grease (E D R)
  • Message (F E D R)
  • Mold Earth (F R)


Right, now how are her tallies doing...? She crosses out all the old numbers and then counts just the new cantrips and adds it up. Good thing she left space for more tally marks.

F: |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| - 24 29
E: |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| - 25 34
D: |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| - 25 30
M: |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| ||| - 23 28
R: |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| - 15 24
I: |||| |||| |||| - 14 15
T: |||| |||| |||| - 13 15


Well, that's better. Okay, Intensity cantrips, let's see what you've got.
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Acid Splash is a no, Bleed is a... well, okay, she admittedly did have that thought about Bleed and Blood Money... she sighs and writes it down at the end of Metamagic Filler, D M I T. Better get Blood Money on there too, even though it's just an M. Her lists are now terribly disorganized but she will just rewrite them later probably.

Who's next? Charm? No. Cloudshape? Sure, she has nothing against Cloudshape. Metamagic Filler list, F D I T. Color Ray is a no, Counterspell she already has, Daze is... probably a no...? She checks the book. Ugh, she doesn't want to mess up people's minds. No. Where was she... Detection and Divination and Druidcraft she already has. Fire Bolt is an attack cantrip. Gust is an attack cantrip but's a sort of tolerable one, Metamagic Filler, F E D I. Haste/Slow and Healing Hands and Investigate she already has. Jinx is an atrocity. Jolt is an attack cantrip. Knock is inoffensive, Metamagic Filler, E I T. Lock, same, F E D I. Longstrider, sure, D M I. Lullaby and Magic Missile and Mending she already has. Pact is upsetting. How many does she have? Bleed, Cloudshape, Gust, Knock, Lock, Longstrider. That's six and she needed nine. Penumbra and Prestidigitation and Ray of Frost she already has. Scour and Thunderclap are upsetting. Upgrade she already has. Vicious Mockery is upsetting. Wellness she already has.

...well fuck.

She sighs and scans the list again. Pact is upsetting but it's not that bad, she'll take it, E D I. Jolt makes electricity, which is in theory useful for things other than murder, M R I. One more. ...hitting people with lightning bolts is unambiguously worse than making them like you slightly more, is she sure she doesn't want Charm? No, that sounds like the words of someone who's going to convince herself to use Charm on somebody. No Charm. She'll just have to take, ugh, Color Ray and use it to help instead of hurt. E R I. Her metamagic filler list is now a pit of sin but at least she's made the total for Intensity. Target's going to be even less fun, isn't it. Right, only one list changed this time around... she studies it, picking out the new cantrips and updating her tallies appropriately.

Metamagic Filler
  • Gate (F E D M R)
  • Glow (E D M R)
  • Grease (E D R)
  • Message (F E D R)
  • Mold Earth (F R)
  • Bleed (D M I T)
  • Blood Money (M)
  • Cloudshape (F D I T)
  • Gust (F E D I)
  • Knock (E I T)
  • Lock (F E D I)
  • Longstrider (D M I)
  • Pact (E D I)
  • Jolt (M R I)
  • Color Ray (E R I)

F: |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| || - 24 29 32
E: |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| - 25 34 39
D: |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| | - 25 30 36
M: |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| || - 23 28 32
R: |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| | - 15 24 26
I: |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| - 14 15 24
T: |||| |||| |||| ||| - 13 15 18


So she needs... what's 24 minus 18... an amount... six. She needs six more Target cantrips. Okay.
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Unsurprisingly, she already has most of the Target cantrips.

No reason not to take Disguise Self, F E D T. No reason not to take Ghost Words, F E D M T. Guardian, D T. Heroism, F E D T. Lifelink, F E D T. And... what's left? What on this list does she not already have? That isn't an atrocity? Jinx and Vicious Mockery are both atrocities. She looks over all her lists again, trying to match name against name and see what's left over.

Lists
Utility
  • Haste/Slow (F E D I T)
  • Vigor (E D M)
  • Goodberry (E M)
  • Shape Water (F E)
  • Purify (F E M)
  • Prestidigitation (D I)
  • Alter Object (F E D T)
  • Upgrade (E D M I)
  • Mending (F M R I)
  • Unseen Servant (F D)
  • Mage Armor (E D)
  • Pocket (E)

Become Unobservable
  • Hideaway (D)
  • Fog (E R)
  • Mask (F D)
  • Mirror Image (D)
  • Muffle (M R T)
  • Murk (E R)
  • Penumbra (F E I)
  • Blink (M R T)

Help and Healing
  • Blessing (E M R)
  • Druidcraft (F E D R I)
  • Guidance (F E D M)
  • Healing Hands (F D M I)
  • Life Bubble (F E D)
  • Lullaby (F E R I T)
  • Stabilize (F E D M)
  • Wellness (E D M I)
  • Witch's Brew (E M T)

Information
  • Arcane Eye (F D M R)
  • Investigate (F M I T)
  • Tongues (D T)
  • Commune (M R T)
  • Detection (F R I)
  • Divination (F E R I)
  • Alignment (F M R)
  • Scholar's Touch (F M T)
  • Navigate (F E R T)

The Slayer List
  • Fist (E)
  • Toughness (F D M T)
  • Counterspell (M R I T)
  • Magic Weapon (F E D)
  • True Strike (F E M T)
  • Featherfall (F E D M T)
  • Forcedisk (D)
  • Spirit Bow (F D)
  • Warding Gesture (D M)
  • Ray of Frost (D R I)
  • Animal Aspect (E D M)
  • Banish (F E M R T)
  • Circle (E M R)
  • Magic Missile (E R I)

Metamagic Filler
  • Gate (F E D M R)
  • Glow (E D M R)
  • Grease (E D R)
  • Message (F E D R)
  • Mold Earth (F R)
  • Bleed (D M I T)
  • Blood Money (M)
  • Cloudshape (F D I T)
  • Gust (F E D I)
  • Knock (E I T)
  • Lock (F E D I)
  • Longstrider (D M I)
  • Pact (E D I)
  • Jolt (M R I)
  • Color Ray (E R I)
  • Disguise Self (F E D T)
  • Ghost Words (F E D M T)
  • Guardian (D T)
  • Heroism (F E D T)
  • Lifelink (F E D T)

Alter Object: taken, under Utility. Banish: taken, under Slayer. Bleed: taken under Filler. Blink: taken under Unobservable. Cloudshape: Filler. Commune: Information. Counterspell: Slayer. Disguise Self: Filler. Featherfall: Slayer. Ghost Words: Filler. Guardian: Filler. Haste/Slow: Utility. Heroism: Filler. Investigate: Information. Jinx: an atrocity. Knock: Filler. Lifelink: Filler. Lullaby: Healing. Muffle: Unobservable. Navigate: Information. Scholar's Touch: Information. Scour: not taken. Tongues: Information. Toughness: Slayer. True Strike: Slayer. Vicious Mockery: an atrocity. Vigor: Utility. Witch's Brew: Healing.

So her options are... Jinx, Scour, or Vicious Mockery? Wait, shouldn't there be one more? Has she miscounted something? She tries to count up the list of Target cantrips. And... twenty-four. She has taken twenty-four Target cantrips. So her tallies got messed up at some point, but, on the plus side, she does not need to take any atrocities.

Whew.

She looks up at the start of her lists again, and reaches for the book...

...and sighs, and gets up to stretch and have a little walk around the desk. What would this place do if she were claustrophobic? Ward her against mental damage from claustrophobia?
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Okay. So.

It is now, she thinks, time to spend points unlocking all these cantrips.

She goes through and does it. Vigor, Goodberry, Shape Water, Purify, Prestidigitation, Alter Object... on and on and on.

When she gets to the end of the Slayer List and checks, she has spent 80 points, and... she feels like she's missing something? What is she... oh right. She never wrote down Mage Hand even though she has it for free from that one quest.

She dutifully records it in the last spot in Metamagic Filler even though it probably belongs somewhere else. Mage Hand, F R.

And with that taken care of, she proceeds through the Filler list. Grand total: 100 points spent.

Now... how does she figure out where to spend the rest?

And, given her tallying issues thus far, she should perhaps make a point of reorganizing her lists and double-checking that she really does have all the cantrips she needs to get 24 for each metamagic quest.

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New list time!

Utiliy (Important)
  • Haste/Slow (F E D I T)
  • Vigor (E D M)
  • Goodberry (E M)
  • Shape Water (F E)
  • Purify (F E M)
  • Mage Armor (E D)
  • Prestidigitation (D I)

Utility (Useful)
  • Alter Object (F E D T)
  • Pocket (E)
  • Mending (F M R I)
  • Upgrade (E D M I)
  • Unseen Servant (F D)
  • Druidcraft (F E D R I)
  • Glow (E D M R)
  • Mold Earth (F R)

Stealth and Escape (Important)
  • Hideaway (D)
  • Mask (F D)
  • Penumbra (F E I)
  • Blink (M R T)
  • Muffle (M R T)
  • Fog (E R)
  • Murk (E R)

Stealth and Escape (Less Important)
  • Mirror Image (D)
  • Gate (F E D M R)
  • Cloudshape (F D I T)
  • Lock (F E D I)
  • Longstrider (D M I)

Help and Healing
  • Blessing (E M R)
  • Healing Hands (F D M I)
  • Witch's Brew (E M T)
  • Stabilize (F E D M)
  • Wellness (E D M I)
  • Life Bubble (F E D)
  • Lullaby (F E R I T)
  • Guidance (F E D M)
  • Lifelink (F E D T)
  • Heroism (F E D T)
  • Color Ray (E R I)

Information
  • Tongues (D T)
  • Arcane Eye (F D M R)
  • Investigate (F M I T)
  • Commune (M R T)
  • Detection (F R I)
  • Scholar's Touch (F M T)
  • Navigate (F E R T)
  • Alignment (F M R)
  • Divination (F E R I)

Slayer Basics
  • Fist (E)
  • Toughness (F D M T)
  • Counterspell (M R I T)
  • Magic Weapon (F E D)
  • True Strike (F E M T)
  • Warding Gesture (D M)

Slayer Extras
  • Forcedisk (D)
  • Featherfall (F E D M T)
  • Animal Aspect (E D M)
  • Spirit Bow (F D)
  • Ray of Frost (D R I)
  • Banish (F E M R T)
  • Circle (E M R)
  • Magic Missile (E R I)
  • Guardian (D T)

Misc
  • Message (F E D R)
  • Bleed (D M I T)
  • Blood Money (M)
  • Gust (F E D I)
  • Knock (E I T)
  • Disguise Self (F E D T)
  • Ghost Words (F E D M T)

I'd Rather Not
  • Grease (E D R)
  • Pact (E D I)
  • Jolt (M R I)
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...she misspelled "Utility" in "Utility (Important)". Why must these things happen to her. Her own inadequacies, presumably.

Okay, moving on from that situation: tally time!

F: |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| - 35
E: |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| | - 41
D: |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| ||||| - 40
M: |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| | - 31
R: |||| |||| |||| |||| |||| - 25
I: |||| |||| |||| |||| ||| - 23
T: |||| |||| |||| |||| || - 22


...there is something seriously wrong with her tallying skills. In more ways than one. That's totally a row of five vertical ticks at the end of D.

Okay, time to manually recount the Intensity and Target cantrips, again...

I: |||| |||| |||| |||| ||||
T: |||| |||| |||| |||| ||


...why...
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Leaving her despair aside—

—leaving it aside, she said—



Clearly what she should do is recount the other way, going back over the lists of cantrips by metamagic applicability instead of trying to count letters. Okay. That's doable. She can do it.

Starting with the list, copying out just the names of cantrips she's taken...

Intensity: Bleed, Cloudshape, Color Ray, Counterspell, Detection, Divination, Druidcraft, Gust, Haste/Slow, Healing Hands, Investigate, Jolt, Knock, Lock, Longstrider, Lullaby, Magic Missile, Mending, Pact, Penumbra, Prestidigitation, Ray of Frost, Upgrade, Wellness
Total: 24

Target: Alter Object, Banish, Bleed, Blink, Cloudshape, Commune, Counterspell, Disguise Self, Featherfall, Ghost Words, Guardian, Haste/Slow, Heroism, Investigate, Knock, Lifelink, Lullaby, Muffle, Navigate, Scholar's Touch, Tongues, Toughness, True Strike, Vigor, Witch's Brew
Total: 25


...she thinks that's the most reliable count she's going to get. And it says she's all set. Actually, she could even drop Grease if she wanted, but she does not want to, because she does not really trust her Range tally to be accurate given how badly she did at counting Intensity and Target. In fact, what are all the Intensity cantrips she hasn't taken? Acid Splash, Daze, Fire Bolt, Jinx, Scour, Thunderclap? ...if she didn't kind of hate them all, she'd take a spare, to guard against her own incompetence. Maybe she can manage to tolerate Firebolt. She can use it to... forge metal, or something. Fire Bolt, R I, last one on the I'd Rather Not list. 101 points spent.

Now she can... put her head down on the desk for a few minutes instead of thinking about where else to spend her points, apparently.
Total: 76
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