That's not true [and/or] You can't prove it!

But it is a common misunderstanding. Allow me to straighten the record:

Norgorber
Areas of Concern: Greed, Secrets, Poison, Murder
Edicts: Keep your true identity secret, sacrifice anyone necessary, take every advantage in a fight, work from the shadows
Anathema: Allow your true identity to be connected to your dark dealings, share a secret freely, show mercy

See. Nothing in there says I'm a bad guy.
Just a straightforward, self-interested guy who values His privacy.

We're peas of a pod, really.

I just came to offer to save You the cost of messaging one of Your guys.

You know, for the piracy thing.

How do You know that, hypothetically assuming it's true?

Why would I go to You in particular? There are more aligned gods to choose from.

And What, exactly, are You proposing?

Couldn't say. God of Secrets.

I'm sure You've heard, we ascended gods have a comparative advantage for this kind of thing, easier to talk to humans if you used to be one. You could go to a more value-aligned god, but problem there is, Their intervention budget is worth almost as much to You as Your own. Every dollar Iomedae spends communicating Your chaotic schemes despite it clashing with Her nature, is a dollar not spent raising paladins for some big climactic battle somewhere else.

My intervention's worth much less to you, if I couldn't profit Myself here I'd just profit Myself somewhere else.

I propose the following deal:

You want to beat Cheliax because You're "Good". Fine. Whatever. You can beat Cheliax and be Good and stuff.
Cheliax has a lot of money. Gold. Gems. Magic Items. Shinies.
Most of it's not very Good really. Peasants will starve with or without them.
Games will still be played. Heroes will rise and fall. etc. etc.

You could handle it all yourself, and end up having a bunch of valuables You don't even really want.

Or you could save the intervention for some other planet, where it's better spent.

Let Me send the message.
Whatever clever thing You've got in mind to tell Your mortal, I mean.
I tell My guy, My guy tells Your guy and also signs up for the team.
My guy helpfully helps so they let him stick around.
My guy grabs the shiny at the last second.
Your guy is sad he didn't get the shiny.
You don't really care cause You Win either way.

Get it?

And I'm supposed to trust You why?

Also, suppose hypothetically I implied to Iomedae that I was gonna keep this whole operation Lawful.

Nothing unLawful about it, a totally above-board subcontracting job.

You can't expect everything You do to have strictly only Lawful consequences.

It can still pan out Lawful in the end, wouldn't bother Me either way.

Pirate. Privateer. Merchant. Marine. It's the same job either way, you pick the one with the highest salary.

Hmm. With prophecy broken, I couldn't know for sure who'd end up holding any hypothetical valuables at the end, especially with different gods making competing interventions.

How about a Game? Pick an intervention-message We can both agree to, and We'll see which mortals end up where.

If only all the Good gods were more like you.

Robaldo's life is good.

He's progressing in his studies, knows more spells than he did before.
He's made good friends through the school and church alike, has connections in Andoren politics and military.
The spells slots he has are more than enough to buy a comfortable life, and the status of a cleric buys a sort of universal respect and appreciation that money can't.

He has, according to what one might call his utilityfunction, Won.

Therefore, like any true Tettian, he is bored.

His spells are already spent when he returns to his dormitory room for the night.
Down to just cantrips.
He has already closed the door behind him and fully entered the room before he even sees them.

She is sitting comfortably on his bed reading from his most recent theology contest delivery.
She has a dark hooded cloak and mask.
She is pretending not to have noticed him enter.

On the floor beside her is presumably her pet. Companion? Associate?

The human-sized spider creature has red eyes, spindly legs, and cloak-like folds of black flesh over it's head.

It is wearing multiple belts wrapped around it's torso, each with metal tools or small vials rigged to it.

A modern wizard is expected to be an expert in all manner of lore, arcane and esoteric.
A familiarity with the untold denizens of distant planes could well serve you in a variety of career paths.
You have been paying attention in your Knowledge (Planes) classes, I hope?

You can never know when it might become important.

Robaldo was paying attention during the spidery-parts.
That's a Karumzek. They work for Norgorber.

Why is it always spiders?

If I'm percieving it, it's because it wants me to.

Lets play this out anyway though.

Robaldo attempts to walk backwards through the door he just came in.

It's locked behind you.

It locks from this side.

And yet.

Robaldo attempts to prestidigitate warm, and therefore molten, the thin strip of soft wax holding in place the metal pin holding in place the ceramic tile of his false roof directly above her, causing it to fall on her head.

It's been disarmed.

All the other ones?

Also disarmed.

Robaldo attempts to prestidigitate dry, and therefore exploding, the flash powder in the vial in his pillow.

Robaldo attempts to prestidigitate clean, and therefore unsealed, the wax-clogged holes of the bucket of oil under his bed.

You can search an area as many times as you want with perception, including looking for traps.

I've been here a while.

Yeah alright fine.

"Hi, can I help you?"

"This religion of yours is pretty sweet.
I'm not looking to convert or anything, but I think we're gonna get on just great.
I'm mostly supposed to be helping my friend here deliver you a message.
Apparently Daddy Grab-and-Stab thinks you're worth talking to.
And then, after that's done, since I'll of course have overheard it all and be in a great position to sell you out about it, I was wondering if you'd be interested in being blackmailed into letting me join whatever mischief you're presumably going to be up to.
I'm not a slacker or anything, happy to pull my weight to be paid my dues.
I'm sure I'll come in handy, depending what he has to say."

"I can't say I've currently got any mischiefs in progress. None that, that guys boss, would want a part in.

If you're all about to suggest I do something Good clerics tend to get forsaken or damned for, I may be inclined to decline."