"Maybe we should go on a nice long vacation to a dimension where your enemies aren't present!"

Leareth's immediate reaction is 'that would be lovely if I could afford the time away from Velgarth', which - is it still true that he can't? There are probably a lot of things he thought he couldn't afford and should be re-evaluating now. 

"...If we could somehow do that without time passing in Velgarth, I think I would feel straightforwardly excited about it. I am not sure how much it actually makes sense to worry about problems exploding without my presence if time were passing, or to worry about - forgetting how to be careful enough when I have to go back - those might also be mental habits that are out of date." 

(Unfortunately, everyone here is new to Milliways; and if time dilation or suspension is a thing in this version of Milliways, nobody here knows that!)

"...as much as clever solutions are better, in relationships it's also a good idea to ask how much of your problem you can solve without magic, especially magic that's expensive or has a long latency period.  It's just a good mental habit to get into."

"Uh wait, hold on, you should solve your problems without magic? Magic is woven into Leareth's world! That's like saying that you should solve problems without... thinking about them! Don't get in the habit of relying on intelligence!"

"Valid, if you're usually using telepathy all the time you shouldn't switch it off."

"To be fair, I do not actually know a way with magic to go on a vacation somewhere else while pausing time in Velgarth. It does seem worth looking for non-magical ways to solve problems that would be a decades-long research project otherwise." 

"Leareth, do you think you're currently already telling Ramona all the things that are safe to tell her, or falling back onto old habits of saying as little as possible?"

"I am not sure off the top of my head which things I am not currently telling Ramona would actually be completely safe to tell her if I stopped to think about it. It - does seem probably worth taking the time to think about. ...There are a lot of things. I am also not sure in all cases which things are the most relevant to tell Ramona." 

"What I'm really trying to get at, here, is if you are constantly hesitating and saying very little to Ramona, or if you are already talking to her a lot about most things on your mind that aren't classified."

Huh.  He doesn't have this problem.  Mornelithe wonders what this iteration of Kiyamvir Ma'ar is doing differently, and if there's any simple formula he can derive to fix him.

"Well, he's not exactly a chatterbox. When I ask him how his day was, he says 'I've had worse.' He doesn't exactly open up about how his foreign policy negotiations are going, and I don't know if that's because it's a state secret or if he just thinks I wouldn't be interested."

"I guess I should state for the record, I'm interested! But I also don't want to mess up your foreign policy negotiations!"

"The last time he actually got going a little was right after we had our big breakthrough together and solved that major problem. He was, in retrospect... giddy? that day. I didn't realize at the time, but that was the garrulous end of the spectrum for him! I didn't understand a lot of what he was saying, but the corner of his mouth would curl up a little bit and he'd say 'Printing at scale!' or 'Skyscraper!' and laugh a little bit."

"There's probably some deep reserve in this ancient-wizard-just-starting-at-relationships that can't be overcome just by ordinary exercises for talking to your partner -- to the extent that trope-based reasoning works here at all, at least, though in my experience that usually works to some degree.  But this does sound like there's potentially a lot of room for just talking with Ramona more, and updating her more on how your day went, and generally trying to imitate the greater amount that Ramona talks to Leareth.  If I'm right that Ramona is in fact being more forthcoming, usually."

"I would conjecture that this is the sort of thing that Ramona had in mind under the category of 'how to basic relationships' -- if you're not talking to each other much or often, if you're not sharing large amounts of your mental worlds though not all of them, that's a weak pillar in the foundation.  I would wildly guess just from observation so far that this is the central visible problem in your current relationship; and even if there's some later plot development on which hinges fixing the whole problem, which itself may or may not be true, your relationship has to last until then."

"Leareth, I'd put to you that you may be thinking in terms of what is safe to tell Ramona.  I'd float the suggestion -- possibly for rejection as obviously stupid, just putting the thought out there -- maybe you should actually be thinking in terms of Ramona being a very useful tool for your altruistic ends, and not just your selfish wants; and you may need to sharply change and adapt to your changed circumstances, by talking much more to her, in order to reach the necessary level for preserving the future good things your world can get from Ramona."

Well, it's not false that Ramona is enormously valuable to Velgarth! Leareth was already aware of that and is pretty sure it's much of why he finds Ramona attractive!

He - had not in fact been very worried that Velgarth would lose that if his and Ramona's relationship doesn't work out? That seems like a negative take on Ramona's character, when it feels obvious to him that Ramona wanted to help and her wanting-to-help was not at all contingent on an immortal wizard wanting to date her? 

...How does Ramona seem to be reacting to the framing? Leareth glances over at her. 

Ramona does not look alarmed or offended!

Ramona's usual take is that relationships are strongest when people have many interwoven motivations for wanting to stay together and promote each other's happiness. And while it would be nice if Leareth just wanted her, for himself, in the same way that a hungry person wants to eat some chocolate cake, she knows him well enough by now to know that lust and greed are not really Leareth's vibes. And if not that, then wanting her for her utility just makes sense to Ramona?

(Maybe there's some lust in there somewhere, though? Maybe?)

How much of this Leareth can derive from a sidelong glance at Ramona's face is another question.

"All right then!  Now unless there's some important reason not to, I'd like both of you to write down anchor-notes on what you were actually thinking, just now; and once you're both done, explain it out loud to each other!  If I'm correct that this was not the sort of silent glance exchange where both of you actually did deduce everything the other one was thinking."

(This is a kind of function call you can readily make to people's standard existing mental skills, where Thellim comes from.)

...That was helpful to have pointed out, actually. Leareth can write some notes about what he was thinking and then, once they seem to both be done doing that, explain. 

"I was thinking that I already know Ramona is hugely valuable to Velgarth - I hope Ramona is aware that I think so! - and that this is probably a big part of why I find her attractive? I - had not really been thinking of it as something where I needed to talk to her in a certain way in order for Velgarth and its people to benefit from her skills. She did that on her own, I think she is - just the sort of person who will take opportunities to help people if she sees them, and solve people's problems because she prefers them solved. I want our relationship to work because I value that in itself, but - I had been thinking of it as separable from my altruistic goals and Velgarth's future." 

Though Leareth is abruptly aware that this is absolutely an understanding of Ramona he had inside his head and has probably not communicated in so many words, and it's going to be awkward if she disagrees. 

"Hmm, I'll say what I had written down, but I also want to respond to that. It is really nice to hear you say out loud that I am hugely valuable to Velgarth! I continue to be surprised by how much leverage I seem to have here! I do not usually expect to be able to have planet-scale effects with my routine everyday skillset!"

"And you're right that I didn't help as a way of ensnaring you, or something... it was just a problem, right in front of me, that I knew how to solve, and why wouldn't I do that? I am still a little bit confused about the causal sequence of events that brought me to Velgarth in the first place, but I do suspect that my openness and interest in a little bit of adventure probably played into it somehow. And then once I got here, I just saw the opportunity to help and I took it, and I'd likely do that again."

"Right now I am confused about how long to stay, whether it's a temporary adventure or a permanent one, and I'm still working that out. And I'll be honest, a big part of that calculus is whether this relationship works out, because I'm the sort of creature who wants, ultimately, to be in a great relationship. I'm picky, and I wasn't having a lot of luck back home, and so I won't give up this opportunity lightly. And if it turns out that we're not a good fit after all, I probably will leave, even if there are more problems to be solved on Velgarth. I'll try not to leave you in the lurch if you're counting on me for something that's in progress, but my sense is that there are problems everywhere, so I might as well live somewhere where there are problems and good boyfriends."

Ramona clears her throat and looks down at her paper.

"Oh yeah, this, I should say this part too."

"It is fine with me if you want me for alruistic Velgarth-boosting reasons, I'm happy to help. But I'm glad to hear you want me for myself, too. I find myself wishing for a bit more evidence of you wanting me for myself."

Should she say the chocolate cake thing? Maybe not? Ugh, but Thellim is trying to get them to speak their thoughts.

"I wish you wanted me like a hungry person wants chocolate cake," she mutters very fast and a little under her breath.