"...that thing isn't a comet. That is a probe."

(Is this how the Diamonds find out?)

Turns out, no one knows where the appropriate AA weapon is.

They find it on accident.

(Phew!)

Turns out, no one knows the password to activate it.

They activate it by accident.

"Not... the most secure password ever, mom. Ahahaha~"

"Wow.

Wow. How many more vitally important things have I not shared with anyone?"

"Honestly, there's kinda... too many of them to list? I have to say, Bismuth was particularly fun to stumble on."

oh no

"Well, on the other hand... Looking back on it, life sure would be much more boring if I had a convenient list of my gem powers and your resources and strategic information and such.

It definitely was an adventure. And it all worked out in the end.

If every porkchop was perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs, right?"

"Yeah..."

(Five thousand years ago, a stunt goes bad.)

(Blinding light envelops the Earth.)

(Thousands of friends, living beings who have done nothing wrong, nothing at all, are reduced to mindless beasts by a weapon of mass destruction.)

(Not everything works out in the end.)

Here's a memory: Steven recklessly handles a time machine to set up a concert out of copies of himself.
Then he destroys the -hard-to-make and potentially very useful- time machine because he's scared.
He gives a concert with the Crystal Gems instead.

"Wow, Steven, you are truly your father's son!"

"What can I say, I am as much of a whimsical dork as Mr. Universe himself."

And soon after, here's the memory of where the things actualy start to go south.

Steven gets ahold of a fun new item, a talking mirror!

The mirror has a surprise inside it.

"Oh no, Steven..."

"Mhm, 'Oh no' is right."

"So, this poor Lapis Lazuli was apparently stuck there, imprisoned and cracked and conscious, for millenia.

With me having never noticed it."

"Well, it's not like gem technology doesn't commonly use components that look just like actual gems but aren't."

Rose processes this.

AND THEN LAPIS LAZULI STEALS THE ENTIRE WORLD OCEAN.

Rose's voice cracks.

"Oh, right. Lapides Lazuli can do that."

Rose is only a little bit of an ecologist, but Lapis just did this with ALL THE WATER ON EARTH.

"We're lucky she was careful. Otherwise Earth wouldn't have any fish. Or intact dams.

Greg told me that there was an insane panic in the news for the next month. Some people thought the world was ending."

"Have... people died?"