"...you sound like you maybe need an ambulance. I hear they're not even expensive nowadays." She fiddles with a device.

"If you want me to go away you can just say so."

"You got an ears problem too?"

Nothing about this conversation makes any sense. Maybe he missed some subtext. He'll just go back inside on the theory that that way he's unlikely to keep bothering her.

There is an urgent knock on his door.

Fine. Whatever. He opens it, looking extremely done.

"Hi!" says a ginger with too many teeth. "We got a call from your neighbor that someone here was possibly having a seizure or a panic attack."

He just kind of looks at them blankly because even if he wanted to be helpful that's not a question or a request and he doesn't know what a seizure is and barely has the faintest clue what a panic attack is.

"Is there anyone sharing this apartment with you?"

He gets out of the way of the door in case they feel really invested in learning the answer to this question.

...okay, he will go search the apartment. "Sir, do you think I might have been called for you?" he asks when he discovers the place empty.

Shrug. "Sounds plausible."

"...would you like me to heal you or should I mark down that it was a false alarm?"

"I don't have an opinion. If you wanted to be very nice to me for some reason you could tell me what 'seizure' and 'panic attack' mean."

"A seizure is when electrical connections in the brain are disrupted - it can cause strange movements or lapses of consciousness. A panic attack is when an anxiety reaction like shortness of breath spirals out of control and makes people feel like they might be dying."

"If I ever think I'm dying I won't react by grimly having no opinion about it. Are you totally sure brains are supposed to have electrical connections in the first place."

"...yes, they are, for most people."

"Okay. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Can I get your thumbprint here affirming that you don't need healing?" He proffers a device.

"Huh?"

"- would you push the pad of your thumb on here, to say that it's okay that I am not healing you, so I can show my boss?"

"...If you want but why couldn’t you just grab my thumb and put it there if you found me passed out from ODing on heroin?"

"Because that would be fucked up? This is just to make sure you understand and are making an intentional choice."

"I don’t understand anything and am just doing what I’m told."

"Okay, I can explain then. Your neighbor called me because they thought you might need healing. Does that part make sense?"