I'm on Team Trees.

Lawfulness is about being trustworthy. Lawfuls understand that if you can keep up your end of a bargain, or keep a secret, secret, you win more in the long run. Chaotics don't get this, because they are fundamentally rotten people, out to take advantage. Even Asmodeans won't hang you with the rope you sell them if you explicitly ask them to not. Chaotics are impossible to cooperate with.

Because Lawful Korvosans are famous keepers of their word???

You don't need to explicitly tell me not to take advantage of you if you mistake us for friends, because I'm not the kind of person who would do that. I'd love to be your friend, so if you think we're friends, all you need to do is let me know and that'll make it bilateral.

Lawful characters are coherent. They do things for reasons, and are capable of thinking about and explaining their situation and actions. Chaotic characters pirate purple monkey dishwasher. Neutral characters sometimes do things because of vibes or can’t explain their reasoning formally, but mostly have a meaningful underlying principle of some sort.[1]

1. This tag lifted verbatim from the google doc I've been linking, because it's just too good to adulterate.

I think I generally do things for reasons, and have underlying principles.

I think Law versus Chaos is about whether you believe in the good of the collective, or in your own personal benefit. 

And how lonely these "chaotic" souls that you imagine must be.

I think we're on this world to help each other.

Then your alignment is Lawful Neutral Lawful Lawful Lawful Lawful.

Eh?

Delmore, it is certainly no coincidence that a door into the Gantelope opened in the same Vault where we've seen flashy interventions from Otolmens and Asmodeus, and where we've seen clerics bought in bulk by the Outside powers.

There was a time, not long ago, when the Powers made coincidence their drudge and happenstance their gofer, and to search for Their fingers weighing down one's scale was inseparable task from both barking at clouds and missing the thieves at the door. But that is not this dispensation; the gods of today are not subtle. They all concern Themselves with the same prize, whatever that prize may be. 

There are two lines of possibility that I can see.

The first: the adventurers' curse was arranged by a god, probably Andirifkhu, possibly at the behest of another Power (Rovagug? They might have a common interest in weakening the enemies of Chaotic Evil), as a move in Their inscrutable game pertaining to this Vault. This theory is agnostic apropos the locus of the opposed deities' opposition.

(Toff says "arranged" rather than "performed"; the curse seems too odd in its workings for it have been designed for the purpose it now serves, whatever that purpose may be, and, while Toff admits that he's hardly an ordained priest of the Warden-Queen to know the minutia of her faith, the curse afflicting the adventurers (or the creatures they were replaced with) doesn't seem like it could possibly have anything to do with Her domains as Toff understands them. Sadistic death-trap dungeons have nothing to do with games of make-believe, or improv theater. Toff suspects some manner of magic item or artifact that fell into Andirifkhu's possession (and was probably corrupted in some way?).)

(Why a god would do this is beyond him, but presumably it is as helpful to Their ends as it useful to the King of Hell to Choose child clerics who immediately forsake him and as useful as it was to Otolmens to conjure a resolute horse and a resolute pony into our Vault. Something in Korvosa is disturbingly important to the Powers That Be, apparently including either Andirifkhu personally or Someone whose best course of action was paying Her to intervene here, and somehow the most useful thing Andirifkhu could do could not be done without giving useful supernatural abilities to (creatures believing themselves to be?) an empowered priest of Ragathiel and an empowered priest of Cayden Cailean.) (This theory leaves him cold for many reasons.)

The second: the adventurers' curse was not arranged by a god and/or predates all the (other) divine intervention in the Vault. On this theory, it might be what precipitated all of the divine intervention in the Vault. Plausibly, Andirifkhu is only involved in an ancillary role (inviting them into Her domain and safely ejecting them from it, an action no more inscrutable than Otolmen's conjuring resolute horses). (Chronologically, Toff hasn't found any divine intervention that came before those four guys walked out of their dungeon, which isn't to say that there wasn't any but which does at least suggest it.) Or perhaps Andirifkhu was the first mover (On this theory, the adventures' curse will, at the end of all the play and counterplay anticipated by Andirifkhu at time zero, advantage the interests of Chaotic Evil to some degree great enough to justify the expense and the risk She's taken on. (Or, advantage the interests of Andirifkhu in particular? It is very hard for Toff to see what any of this could have to do with death-trap dungeons, but this much he knows of the Abyss: what displeases one demon lord must necessarily please another.)) Perhaps Her movements were constrained by agreements with other gods (Cayden Cailean? They do have a common enemy in Law) who could have stopped Her but chose to stand aside, and this is why Her actions seem strange and ineffectual. On this theory, the adventurers' curse will predictably play a large role in the future of Golarion, presumably by way of their combat ability (once that's been nurtured) and their supernaturally capable "guesswork" in its non-combat applications, and this is visible to the gods, and they're trying to influence how the adventurers develop. 

But you and I, Delmore, have an advantage that even the gods do not. Any one of Them could crush us like the bugs we are, but to defend us would take even less effort from whatever benefactors we have. As the most powerful mortal spellcasters with our feet on the ground, we can play kingmaker - just as soon as I've determined the game, the players, the teams, and the stakes. 

I take it you're trying for ninth?

Don't be absurd. 

Did your mother never tell you that when elephants fight, it's the grass that suffers? You can teleport. Why not leave?

I'm not abandoning Korvosa, or, by extension, the entire world - for I somewhat doubt that the pantheon is out in force just over the fate of Chellish Varisia. If I can be the fulcrum that directs Their power to my ends, there must be something I can do with that...

Okie-dokie.

Good luck with that.

There's a cell in necrosafety lab 8 that should be secure against invading incorporeals, so that's where I'm teleporting. Is there anything you want to say before I go?

Wait, you're leaving?

That's the plan.

Why?

Because this scene has too many characters in it.

And because I thought you were the sensible one and I was the foil. If I'm supposed to be the foil, any plan that includes both of us in it is totally doomed and I need to get as far away from here as humanly possible. 

I can do hazard pay.

...I'm pregretting my Wisdom dump. 

You mean regretting?

You regret an Intelligence dump. You pregret dumping Wisdom.