Flower shop. Hardware store. Nail salon. Sickeningly cute café. And then, squeezed in between that and a massage parlor, a shop that looks much older and weirder than its surroundings - gnarled wood instead of cement and paint, moss and some other small plants growing directly out of the side of the wall, smoky windows, sign impossible to read.

Well. It's not a miracle. But it is interesting. He tries the door.

It's full of weird things - taxidermy and lovely fantasy maps and dried plants and art glass and a huge orrery that might be trying to represent the Firefly setting or something because it's sure not the Solar System and funny clockwork kinetic sculptures and a columnar enclosure full of weirdly giant butterflies and fancy rugs and furniture so eclectic it would strike a typical interior designer dead on the spot.

"Gooooood morning," says a voice belonging to a woman who is simultaneously much too young and definitely weird enough to belong to this shop. She looks like she's maybe twenty, if that, and she is dressed as a witch, black robes and pointy hat and all. She's propped up on her elbows on the counter in the shop, one hand idly spinning some kind of armillary sphere around.

"Good morning," he replies admiringly, while admiring the oddments. "What's the ratio of merchandise to scenery, here?"

"Oh, I might sell most any of my scenery, for the right prices, to the right persons. But mostly it is here in the first place because I thought it terribly snazzy. Come here, you, let me grab a look at you, see how right a person you might be."

He steps up and leans on the counter himself, presenting himself at a favorable angle. This is intriguing, at the very least.

"Oh now, aren't you just right. I think," she says, catching one of his hands in hers, "that you," her hands go clawed and fluffy, "are exactly right." She whisks her hat off and her ears become long tall rabbity ones. "What would just-right you say, I wonder, if I told you you're a witch, waiting to happen?"

"Better late than never?" he proposes, a bit giddy. "What in the hell am I waiting for and will it happen in the next five minutes, perhaps?"

"Ha!" She wags a finger, human-shaped again, in his face. "Yes it will! Some people come over all witchy without any of the external help if something very terrible should befall them. Perhaps your life has been too charmed. But I can charm it the rest of the way. You are beholding a witch awakener." She takes a bow. The ears are still there and one bops him on the head.

"If my life has been charmed 'til now by all means let's set it awry. Do I need to do anything in particular, to awaken? Or just let you batter me with your ears?"

"That is a gratis bonus entirely unrelated." She puts her ears back in human form. Collects his other hand. "Let's see what it is you have got."

And he is elsewhere, a void populated by colorful sparkles.

"What is it you wish to look at first? Whether you will have your own set of glamorous ears? Whether you will be studying in a dusty library or running errands for gods or shooting lightning at the target range? Whether you want to keep being such a boy all the time?"

"Hmm. I'll admit I'd rather my ears weren't quite so glamorous as your own, they'd risk overshadowing me. Where does that lead us?"

"Over this-a-way!" A particular cluster of sparkles. "Interesting ancestry. I suppose they are all interesting. Never have I ever seen someone who comes in looking like a human and the this part is saying 'whoops, all elves'. They will tell you about themselves if you poke them, nothing final till you are all done."

"Perhaps someone chose to hide my light under a bushel?"

He begins poking. Starting with the one that smells like burning; it's a nostalgic kind of smell.

"Ifrit! Fire spirit. Being on fire at all times. Never again the chicken soup with rice, eat only through burning - acceptable to burn crisps and baguettes too, though. Get mana that way too. Can still sit in chairs and shake hands. Unless you do the this thing," magical mental gesture, "and become Mr. Rocket Skull sometimes. Those cannot shake hands. Because of being rocket skulls."

"Burning forever... there's an appeal. What about these?" Mental flick of the wrist at the two that feel like hurting someone and getting off on it, respectively.

"Erinyes! Fallen angel dealie. Perpetual running mascara look, and black feather wings. Mana from torment especially screamy kinds. Find a certain special friend or take up dentisting or become supervillainous, different options popular at different eras. Extra thing does complicated nonsense with putting your blood on a weapon and stabbing people. And this one is Lilin, demony looking folks. Breaking rules while someone is watching for mana. Has to be a rule to you though, no eating cheeseburger dinners about it if you are not Jewish. Bonus thing about hassling other people's dreams."

Erinyes sounds like fun but he should check other options first... Lilin sounds thematically pleasant but he doesn't have rules, so that's a bust.

He traces his mental fingers over two more. One of them feels strange, fake, like something that shouldn't be real; the other, like skin, but... ah, not just any skin. What kind of magic feels like the inside of - well. He can ask.

"What about these?"

"That's the one which makes you a child! Changeling. Very good shapeshifters but stuck at 'child'. Mana from identity theft but discount on magic that lets you get it some more convenient way. Bonus thing is better shapeshifting. And that one is nymph! Solid choice, girlfriend is a nymph. Water fey sort of situation, mana from people wanting them or what they have on offer. Go into advertising or just be pretty at people. Bonus is a quite good mana storage thing with imbued water."

Being an eternal child and fucking with people about it sounds hilarious but not like a life choice. Being a nymph... hmm.

"The nymph bit is just people wanting me, not me wanting them? I've got one of those boutique sexualities that's less reliable than anyone would like."

(It's the easiest way he can find to explain something that approximates the truth. He can fuck anything that moves, and does whenever it seems helpful, but the ones he wants are the ones who he can hurt - not with whips and chains but with a glance at their stomach, a seemingly careless word to the wrong person, showing up at their workplace to deliver a chocolate croissant and leaving everyone asking how do you know him? And after a while it stops being nearly so fun. Boutique, indeed.)

"That's right! Fortunately the mentioned girlfriend is stunning gorgeous, charges up walking down the street or snapping a chat. But I digress."

"How lucky for her."

He points at another two stars, this time more or less at random; he's starting to run out of new ones. "What about these?"

"That one is lamia. Swallowing folks whole for mana - needs a soul, so generally not the family dog. They can sometimes be all right afterward apart from knowing forever they are technically vomit. You trade everything waist down for most of a snake. Bonus is for getting extra magic from eating a witch. Other one is orc; they get mana for having children so many many people have a little orc. In their heritage. Not at home eating pureed peas. Usually. Bonus makes you keep going like a video game character even if totally messed up."

"Wow. They can't all be winners."

...that one, that one smells like blood. He points at it and the two next to it, the bland one and the shiny one. "Run me through those three?"

"Empusa! Basically vampire. Mana from vampiring folks. Animals do work for this one but not as good; also there is this botanical option from the moon. Bonus for superspeed and superstrength - extra on top of the regular amount - plus seeing in the dark and also for being mist. Fog. Not noticed missing. Then neutral, which is being a regular human pretty much. Not this exact regular human, you can change a bunch of things and will also be a girl most likely, but regular human. Actually, empusa lets you change less but will still make you a girl... Mana from sleep. Perk for being a little magically tougher and getting to have some of a second one of those -" the class sparks. "And then daeva, which is irregular human. Tall cartoon superhero looking deal. Mana from people around them having emotions, lots of people about whatever or fewer people about them specifically. Perk for controlling your body, doing the monk thing of making your heart beat very slowly and being warm in the snow and all that."