"Luida. Don't give the kid false hope. We're over our heads in trying to untangle this mess anyway, we don't have the time or the people to go gravedigging. Kid, Five didn't make it out well."

His face looks anguished for a moment before it returns to just looking sad. "Please? If, if she survived—" Oh and he's crying now, he did not mean to do that. "Please. She, she was the one who warned everyone. About the, the—"

But he can't finish that sentence, because if he does he'll think about Nai, and he can't, he can't think about Nai right now, he can't, he can't...

[why, Nai?] he sends out, desperately, pleadingly. [why?]

(And one of the plants of this ship hears him and replies: [?])

.... If Ship Five was the one that managed to get out the warning in time for everyone else, then it might have been the source of all of this nonsense. Which means there might be other reasons to dig through its wreckage than a doomed attempt to save people that are very definitely dead.

".... Fine," he sighs, "we'll prioritize it."

"Th-thank y-you," he sobs, burying his face in his knees and shutting his eyes tightly.

Rem should be alive. Not him.

"Okay. I'll get you set up in a room somewhere, all right?"

Technically speaking it'll be the brig, because Luida is nice but she isn't stupid, but. It'll have a bed and a bathroom.

He nods but doesn't say anything.

Brad gives Luida a bit of a look, but she returns it steadily, and will obviously lead the kid down the corridor that goes to the brig instead of the general quarters.

She'll take the water bottle for him, in case he changes his mind.

"Why'd you rescue me."

"Because you needed it, silly. Why wouldn't we?"

"...I wanted to die."

Oh boy. Tiny suicidal child. Uh, there have got to be regulations for suicide watch, somewhere, but she has no idea where to find them. Especially right now.

"... Well, I'm glad you're alive."

"Why."

"Because... every person that dies is a terrible loss for everyone else. And if people are alive, the circumstances can always change, and their situations can improve. But if they're dead, that's kind of it."

"Nothing will ever get better."

"Well, I think 'ever' is a long time for absolutes. And it's not like either of us have seen the future, hm? Why not try our best and see how it goes?"

Everyone is going to die.

It's his fault.

He doesn't say that and just shakes his head, looking down at his cuffed hands.

The room he's taken to is in fact a cell, and once he's in it, the door locks and there isn't a way to get out.

But there is a bed, so. That's nice, right?

Sure. Nice. He supposes.

He killed... all of those people...

He's trying to, to hold onto the same mindset as earlier, trying to remember why he did it, the way humans are, but without Zash around for him to be angry at and try to argue with he's just left alone in his head with his own thoughts.

He's all alone.

He was still mad at Zash, and he let Zash run, and it wasn't until later that he noticed that he hadn't ever been alone in his head. And there aren't any plants nearby, any of his sisters, so it's just... just him. Just him, in his head. No one else.

Many plants probably died because of him, too. It wasn't just humans.

It wasn't going to be just humans. He wanted, wanted to save the plant carriers, but every ship had plants, the carriers only had more of them than all others.

And, and he didn't mean to include Rem...

[Zash] he calls with his mind, reaching out as far as he can get, as far as his mind can go, [please come back, please, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, I didn't, I didn't want it this way, I'm sorry, please come back—]

He did. He did mean it. He just, he hadn't, hadn't really thought—and he can't think, he's running and he thinks he's running in the direction of Zash but he can't see and he doesn't know because it's a desert and every direction's the same.

[please, Zash, please forgive me, please, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry—]

And the ruins litter the landscape, pieces of debris and escape pods that didn't manage to land the crash, and the first time he saw a dead body he wanted to throw up.

It didn't, actually, feel any different than looking at Tesla's body.

[I'm sorry...]

Nai stops running at some point, he's sure he isn't going in Zash's direction anymore if he ever was and if he won't find Zash then what's the point? He thinks about trying to find one of the plant carriers, one of the ships that should have survived the crash mostly intact, and it feels hollow. He thinks about his sisters, about their judgment—and he realises that there will be none. That they'll look at him and they'll forgive him.

He doesn't know if he can forgive himself. The only person who could forgive him is Zash, and Zash isn't there.

Or Rem, but Rem also isn't there.

The humans... they're not there, either. He killed them all.

Nai stops running at some point, but he doesn't stop walking. Nowhere is better than anywhere else, but anywhere is better than here.

He hears a noise.

There are many noises, mostly of crackling fire and crumbling metal and the occasional explosion, but this sounds like... a voice? Like someone is...