"Multiple mates are for those whose children's [BIP] lineage is of no consequence, or those so overaweingly potent that all Nebulon has no choice but to bow before their whims or die."

Ramona wants to follow up on that comment from the Princess but first checks to make sure the man doesn't look like he's about to blow his top.

He looks exasperated with this girl's antics but not particularly explosive.

Ramona directs her attention back to the Princess.

"The second part makes sense. If you're enough of a badass, you get to do whatever you want. But let me make sure I understand the first part."

"Ordinary people are free to form multiple connections, but someone like you, a Princess, may only take one partner, because you must have clarity about the parentage of your offspring? Is that right?"

"I am aware that Earthling males do not themselves bear offspring.  This has been explained to me.  Repeatedly.  But [BIP] lineage is not so easily rearranged into alien structures!"

"Okay. There are definitely some elements here I don't quite understand yet, but that's normal at this point. What I know so far is that you can't agree about how much sex to have, about how many partners each of you should have, and about how to integrate the answers to those two questions given your differences in social status and... species."

"Are there any major elements of your situation you haven't mentioned yet? For example, is there any violence or abuse in the relationship? Are either of you addicted to mind-altering substances? Have either of you broken your relationship agreements?"

"He has submitted with acceptable eagerness to the usual disciplines that I would impose upon my mate.  I am, however, perturbed that his wish for concubines was not mentioned to me earlier -"

"You didn't exactly warn me that your sex drive wouldn't be that high all the time!"

"All right. Given what you've described to me about your situation, I think I can help. I am willing to take you on as clients. Do you have any questions for me that will help you decide, or are you ready to book your first appointment?"

"We're not exactly swimming for choices here."

"Uh, no offense."

"A princess must be decisive.  I am ready for whatever comes my way."

"Very well. Here are some paper forms to fill out, since you are wary of online communication. I will see you next Tuesday at 11am. This is, after all, a typical Tuesday situation for me."

"Thanks, and, uh, just to be clear, uh - Nebulon doesn't completely know where she is right now, but that's not a relationship complication we both know about that part, I'm just saying, don't go around casually mentioning to, uh, whoever, that you're seeing a Princess of Nebulon."

"I never talk about my clients with any specificity. If I need to consult with a colleague about your situation, I will blur the circumstances. For example, I'll swap your genders, or I'll say I'm seeing a Countess of Muppox --"

"You will not swap my gender."

"Just in telling the story, not in real life. I don't know how to do that in real life. Is that a thing that can happen in real life?"

"Not to princesses!"

"Thank you so much for coming in. My next appointment is due to start soon. I'll see you on Tuesday!"

The 5 Point Cafe is across the street from Ramona's office building. Its squat facade is festooned with neon signs. Bar patrons are seated in the outdoor patio area, smoking and drinking. The front door bears a placard written in Sharpie block letters: "Cosplayers welcome."

Ramona pushes through the front door, nods at the bouncer, and settles herself at the far end of the bar on the diner side, near the entrance to the kitchen. She leaves one seat empty on her other side.

The bartender on duty grunts and puts Ramona's usual in front of her moments after she's settled on the bar stool, then hastens back to take an order at the other end of the bar.

A pretty impressive cosplayer settles into the empty seat a minute or two later.

(It is impressive cosplay.  A naive Earthling could actually believe it was a human in there, under a lot of makeup and some heavy masking equipment.)

"You have summoned me; therefore I am here."

"Hey there. You're looking particularly good today. New chin prosthesis finally come in? The jaw looks really realistic when you talk."

"Indeed!  I went on a human bus to Tacoma yesterday.  The Earthlings didn't notice a thing!  Several males flirted with me!  But nobody initiated mating."