"....I've never heard of a talking animal that could use tools at all, let alone weapons. I guess chimps - sort of can? ...They're our closest living relative, to our whole species I mean, I think the most recent ancestor of humans and chimps lived," wow she sucks at biology, "...millions of years ago, at least - thousands of thousands of years. They don't talk but they can learn sign language and stuff if humans teach them, and use simple tools. We - uh, did used to kill them a lot, there aren't that many left, but more recently there've been movements to try to give them more land to live on." 

"...The English worksheets were lying to us?"

?????????????????????????????????????

...Oh. 

"- Do you mean the books for children I read you, that had talking animals? That's - it's not meant to be a lie but it's pretend, like the wizards in Harry Potter are pretend, a lot of children's stories have things in them that don't exist in real life. I'm sorry. I should probably have tried to explain that better." 

"I don't know what the wizards in Harry Potter are.

...Animals never talk, and books have pretend things in them. I understand."

"Do you mean that people who have in the blood the knowing to fly and shoot fire at people, do not exist, or that those do exist but they are not like in Harry Potter?"

"...I am pretty sure they don't exist. I guess in the story, the wizards are secret and so I wouldn't know, but - I think people who understand science better than me are pretty sure magic like in Harry Potter is not physically possible." 

Aughhhhh this conversation feels like it's really close to an important confusion, all of Evelyn's intuitions are screaming it at her, and also she has no idea what to DO with that!!!

Iomedae...thinks magic in Harry Potter is the sort of thing that could obviously be real? Iomedae also thinks priests should be able to do faith healing and miracles on demand. Evelyn's parenting instincts are for some reason informing her that this is really important? 

"People who are upset America killed all the big animals are - people who are confused and think animals talk?"

"No, it's - I mean, babies don't talk, right, and babies still in the womb definitely don't talk, and a lot of people still think it's sad when they die, because even if they don't talk they can have feelings? And I think a lot of people feel like - we, humans I mean, don't have the right to just kill whatever animals we want because we're smarter and stronger and can use weapons when they can't? ...I think it's maybe the sort of thing people start caring about once they're rich enough that they don't need to worry that they or their children will starve." 

"Is it illegal to think animals talk? Or is it just not what educated people do."

???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

"...No. It's...popular, if anything, I think lots of scientists are studying whether, like, crows can talk if you teach them how to do it by pressing buttons? I - think the fact that you're asking that question makes me feel like there's some even more important thing I don't understand yet."

Because what. Just. WHAT. There's...a thing here that she was confused and concerned about before and this suddenly feels like a very sharp manifestation of it and she doesn't understand. 

"- I think we should talk about this. I would, uh, kind of rather we not try to talk about this right now, because there was actually a thing I wanted to say that I think is - more important in the short run - and also it's getting pretty late and we all need sleep, especially if you're both going to be up with Lily in the morning." 

"Okay. Say a important thing?"

"Yes, say important thing."

Well, it kind of feels like the whole mood is ruined now, including Evelyn's mood that she had been in five minutes ago where it felt like she was about to say something meaningful and important instead of trite and stupid, but also she's worried that she would just - lose hold of it - if she got too distracted by - whatever conversation they would even be about to have, if she kept going with it. And also the girls must be exhausted, it's been such a long day, and it's past 10 pm now and it would be irresponsible on all sides to randomly stay up until midnight arguing about whether animals can talk and she still theoretically should write some actual log notes tonight. 

(....She doesn't want to. Diel won't notice if she skips a night, it's not like it's expected to write something every night and Evelyn knows full well that she's more conscientious about it than many foster carers. She's pretty sure it mostly feels important to her because it helps her think and notice all the stuff she was being an idiot about, and - she's trying to do that in other ways, here.) 

"Right. ...I want to spend the money that the government gives me on helping both of you grow up to be as strong and smart and good at things as you possibly can, in the next three years. I guess I want that for every foster kid. The reason I do this job isn't to have money to spend on nice things for myself, I know it seems like a lot of money but I have to be more careful about money than basically anyone I know and no one I know is rich by American standards. But...the reward is seeing one of my foster kids grow up, and do things with their life, and knowing that I was there and I helped them and taught them and that's why they are where they are today. 

"...And I think that's still not how I should think about either of you, because neither of you needs the things that kids usually need, but - Iomedae, it would be a tragedy, not just for you but for the world, if you had to put your life on hold for three years because the government said you had to live with parents, and the parents they gave you didn't care about saving everyone from Hell. ...I don't know if you'll end up deciding that saving everyone from Hell is the best thing you can do with your life - I've certainly never thought of it as something anyone could do, but I also don't go around thinking of 'curing cancer' as something people can do, and I would be honored to help a foster child be someone who could try to cure cancer. And - if you decide otherwise it'll be because you found something more important, or something where you personally were better at solving the problem. And I - the world - needs that, needs more people like you, because I sort of hate admitting it but we do have problems that aren't solved. 

"And I...want to be the one who helps you, instead of making you put your life on hold. I want to be the reason you don't regret coming to America. I want to help you figure out what you need, and finds a way to give that to you, so that you're - ready, in three years, to go fight for our world and our future. Because - I mean, it definitely would make me feel good about myself, that's the reason I selfishly want it, I think I'd be happy for the rest of my life if I could look out every day and see you saving the world - but also it's not even about me. It's about all the people you can save. And - I can't save the world, but I'm pretty good at saving kids - and you're not a kid, and the things I'm good at don't all apply, but I think I can help you get through the next three years without getting in trouble, and I think I can make sure you learn as much as you possibly can, and I want to do that." 

"Thank you. I - want that also. I ....was not really planning to have America make me spend three years not making progress on ending Hell. But I would so much happier not be - defying you, or using your help for things you did not mean it for.

And - thank you. So many thank you."

"I want to help everyone who lives with me to be a better person, and do more with their life whatever that means for them. I think that's the thing that parents - well, good parents - want for all their kids. But, yeah, I think you're - very special - and I want to help you live up to that. And it's so much easier if you trust me and tell me what you need, it's - you don't owe me your trust, but I am trying really really hard to earn it, okay? And I - don't want you to have to go behind my back to do anything important to you, because the things that are important to you are good things, according to me." 

Evelyn has so many emotions about this. Aughhh. Somehow (who would've thought?) she has way more practice at concealing emotions like 'being absolutely horrified about the disclosure of sexual abuse you're in the middle of hearing', and not....this. 

"....Can I give you a hug? No is fine." 

(Sheeee still feels a bit like she's neglecting Alfirin, who is so much quieter and more self-contained about what she needs and who Evelyn...does, if she's honest with herself, have much less of an emotional attachment to.) 

Iomedae hugs her. For a long time, quite tightly. She wants to cry, but paladins don't cry; she waits until her feelings have finished cascading around in her head before she tries turning them into words in this still unfamiliar language. It would not be responsible, to do anything else. 

"I think America can fight Hell maybe," she says. "I think maybe I know why no one else has done it and it is a reason that maybe is not true any more. I know the people there are not your childs. But some of them are childs the way America says who a child is. And some of them would be okay probably, if they lived a place that tried so many times to talk them to not hurting people."

Evelyn's speech sounded slightly too much like the right thing to say for Alfirin to really trust it, yet.

"I very thank you for - you understand we not are American childs, things good for American childs not good for us."

Oh no that is even more something that makes Evelyn want to cry!

(...Evelyn has more practice than Iomedae at not crying when it's not going to help, even if she has fewer intense moral convictions about it. This isn't even the most she's wanted to cry when it was a bad idea in the last two years, just the most unexpected time. She doesn't cry. She does hug Iomedae more tightly and clingily than she usually would.) 

And then backs off and gives Iomedae a bit of space, when the hug is over.

- and pays attention to Alfirin again. "Yeah. I think even in America, different kids need different things? ...I think maybe the two of you are more different than that, and so I'm not going to be good at understanding what you need even though I've had a lot of practice, but - I did notice, almost right away, that there was a thing I didn't understand." 

She turns back to Iomedae, after a few seconds to attempt to collect her now-very-scattered thoughts. 

"...We should talk later about what reason you think maybe isn't true anymore, that might be something I can give you advice on if it's America-related advice."

(Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah???? This is an absurd hypothetical to be entertaining and Evelyn's brain keeps running very hard into the absurdity of it, but - it's not like she disagrees, that Hell is bad? And - well, obviously Jesus didn't solve it permanently - ugh she apparently kind of hates thinking about this directly, it feels slippery and out of reach and like she's vaguely breaking some kind of rule...)

"But - yeah. Everyone - deserves good things, and to be given a chance to not be bad people anymore? I - honestly wish I could've looked after some of the parents of my foster kids - even when they hurt their kids a lot, it was - they could have been better people, if they'd had good parents, and - I don't know if it's ever really too late for that to be a way people can change. It's mostly that the government won't pay for it once people are over eighteen." 

"It is late." No, that was the thing she'd decided not to do even before Evelyn had - offered to help -

" - it is late but this is not very important to me and the reason I think we should talk of it later is that I have not decided if I explain, and will not decide in short time."

Alfirin is not sure if all paladins are this bad at keeping secrets or if it's just very young paladins.

...Nod. That's super reasonable. Evelyn does not have the right to demand trust from either of them, and her instincts - which she usually trusts a lot - are telling her that Iomedae and Alfirin are probably very overdue for a private conversation where they can catch each other up and try to make sense of the situation they're in with the only other person who speaks their (literal, and also metaphorical) language. 

(Evelyn is absolutely going to notice the fact that Iomedae picked that exact moment to clam up, and try to figure out what it means and what she's missing, but she doesn't really expect Iomedae to expect her not to do that.) 

"Sounds good. I'm - glad we talked. I'm going to go upstairs and get ready for bed," thereby committing herself to not writing log notes to Diel as some sort of dumb alternative to therapy about this entire situation being the way it is. "You can help yourself to anything from the fridge if you're hungry again, I bet you burned a ton of calories doing krav maga. Don't forget to brush your teeth." 

And she goes upstairs. 

Iomedae beams at her as she goes. Switches to Taldane. "She understood! She knows we aren't American children and she wants to help fight Hell!"