Evelyn has to work very hard not to burst out laughing.

"Well! There's definitely some logic to that. I don't have enough bedrooms, that's a bit of a problem - I know you would be fine sharing, but a lot of kids aren't, they need their private space to feel safe, and Social Services doesn't want kids to be pressured to share rooms because their foster parents want the extra money, so the rule is no sharing rooms except for siblings. ...I think maybe the bigger problem is that I don't have enough me? Not for - most of the actual kids who need a foster parent. I cannot imagine having four of Lily, I would lose my mind. My fostering agency has actually a few times if I was interested in being approved for four - and I've had four at once a few times, in emergencies - they'd jump on it if I offered. I just - it didn't feel like something I could cope with longer term and still actually do a good job of parenting." 

She tilts her head a little to the side. "Though if I do end up keeping you and Alfirin until you're legally adults - and I'm going to push for that, I think it's important that I understand you and I very badly don't want you to have to go through all of that again with a different foster family - I would consider figuring out a way to make another bedroom available? I could definitely handle four if two of them were you and Alfirin." 

" - if there are other children from places that have heard of Taldor I want you take them. I think most places worse for them."

"...Yeah." Though now Evelyn is curious why Iomedae thinks so, and whether it's a sign that she's still missing something. ...Probably not, Iomedae has seemed convinced all along that Evelyn is being much nicer than she needs to be and that's not even entirely false. "And there's a good justification for it, too, this is the only place where anyone else speaks Taldane and can translate for them. I expect I'll end up being asked about any more who show up in this area, Diel called me first about Alfirin. I haven't heard about there being any more." 

"Other childs from our place maybe are less doing things bad and the government is not catching them."

Sigh. "For what it's worth, I genuinely do think you'll be a lot better off as adults, because you were in foster care. I want to give you more resources and more options, and - I think a lot of the time I have to be careful about that, because a lot of kids will abuse it, but I trust both of you to make good decisions. I know it's a difficult adjustment and it doesn't feel like a good thing, right now, but you weren't in a good situation before either." 

"You think we will be better at fighting people? Because krav maga is more good for learning fighting than practice alone when tired after day of work? That is probably true but not allowed carry a weapon makes me less good at fighting, and I think maybe that is a bigger effect."

There are an enormous number of reasons why Evelyn is in favor of Iomedae being with her that have nothing to do with fighting, but - that's part of the problem, isn't it, that Iomedae has no idea just how little the world's most pressing problems can be defeated with a sword. And needs a native guide. 

"...I want to get your sword back from the police," she says instead, kind of surprising herself, she hadn't been planning to say that but it feels right. "It's -" oh god she never did have that conversation, did she, this is so awkward now - though in some ways it's vastly less awkward now that she's somehow managed to figure out Just Being Honest With Iomedae. It feels like - how would Jeremy put it - one of those things in a video game where you 'unlock a level' and your video game character suddenly has new powers... 

"...I learned a little while ago that the government doesn't want to keep Martin in jail long enough to do a trial. I'm sorry I didn't tell you right away, there kept being stuff going on. But he doesn't have papers to be in the country and he would probably be deported afterward anyway. I don't know if he'll be in trouble with the authorities in his home country, I meant to try to find that out for you, but - anyway, that means that there isn't going to be a court case here and so there's no reason the police should need to hang onto your sword as evidence. You won't be able to carry it, but I see no reason why you can't practice with it in private. And if we can figure out the household finances to make it work, you could have swordfighting lessons in the summer, I'm sure that's a thing." 

" - okay, if you get my sword back and get me a sword lesson then probably I will be better at fighting than if I have to work. I maybe still weaker because no real dangers, but I do not know. 

I knowed the police would not do anything to Martin as soon as I learned that America do not have holy warriors. I would no have taked him to the church if I had knowed.

...if the thing you mean was no that I will be better at fighting, what did you mean? That I will have more money? I will have a little more money if I do not have any expenses and Lily is here always and if I would no have gotten any better at picking fruit doing it longer, and no have learned how to take care of car houses. I will not have a lot more money."

'Criminals won't face consequences because America doesn't have holy warriors' is SUCH a bizarre claim and Evelyn would be inclined to assume Iomedae meant something else, except for how she's pretty sure that most of the times she brushed a confusion like that under the rug, Iomedae totally did mean the bizarre confusing thing. 

"- I think it's complicated but it's not - if you think that people who do thinks like what Martin did don't go to jail for it, that's an oversimplification. We're not...doing it perfectly...but America is trying to have a functional criminal justice system. And lots of people are trying to make it work better, all the time, and - we'll get there, someday." 

Sigh. "I don't think it's mostly about how much money you'll have in three years, but it is about how much money you can expect to have in ten years? I bet that nice young nurse earns twice as much money as I do, and nursing isn't even something we would consider the kind of job where you get rich, just - a decent job, that a normal American with a half decent work ethic can aim for. And - I think you want even more than that. I definitely think you want a lot more than just picking fruit with a camp of fifty people and protecting the girls you know personally from rapists. I think you want to take your life and find a way to use it to help thousands of people. Millions, even, and - most people can't help millions, most people would burn out or give up, but I think you're stronger than that and you'll never stop trying to find a way. And I think the ways open to you were so much smaller, before, and not even just because you could have been picked up in a raid and deported anytime. I think that if you learn to read, and you read a lot of books, and you meet a lot of people, you'll - understand America, and understand what sort of problems we have and what it takes to fix them. I'm pretty sure it's usually not a sword."

A slight, crooked, sad smile. "And if there are a few problems that really can only be solved with violence, well, our army hasn't used swords in centuries. There's a gun class at the krav maga studio, I saw the poster." 

"I do not know if you are right but it is - good you think that. It is a good reason to think it is better I am here."

"Well, my first priority is for you to know enough that you can check it for yourself. It - makes sense, that it's hard for you to feel like I understand and care about the things you want, because they're not the things I've tried to do with my life? I'd be useless in a fight, and I'm not - unusually smart, or ambitious - and the thing I care about and am good at is being a mom. But -" oh for fuck's sake is she going to tear up now, stop it Evelyn's brain she can cry about her feelings later, "- but I do have a lot of practice at trying to help my foster children live up to their potential and accomplish everything they're capable of. And - I think that applies even if the foster kid is not actually a kid." 

She smiles at Alfirin, who is definitely getting overshadowed in some of these conversations. "And Alfirin can be a brilliant scientist or something. I definitely think it would be a waste if you were stuck picking fruit for your whole life, Alfirin, and - I don't have as good a sense of what you're missing that you could do there and not here, but if you tell me, I'll try to help with that as well." 

"At home I knowed all the rules. And nobody - " She scrunches up her face "- Knowing the English is hard. People wanted things but people not wanted things that they not wanted. Nobody maked a rule that I have to be happy."

"...Yeah. I think I do get that, actually? I mean, not as much as someone who's been a foster kid, but - it's a common complaint? That everyone wants to help and they're trying so hard to help, but in ways you hate that make your life worse, and if you get upset about it then they're all hurt because they want you to be grateful. ...At least, that was Emily's complaint. She did eventually say I was better about it. It took her a while to really be sure of that, though."

Shrug. "And there are lots of rules that are - mostly not even about what adults want because it's convenient for them, or whatever, they're about what American culture thinks is healthy for children and will help them grow up to be strong and smart and good at jobs. And you end up with people doing it because they're supposed to and not because they care. ...Also, big government systems are just confusing if you're not used to them, I think? If you grew up in a little village, then - well, America has three hundred million people. A million is a thousand thousands." Do they know 'thousands'? "- a thousand is ten hundreds. I think it's - hard to avoid, having systems that don't really care about each person, just about the - big picture." 

"I think many things you say are the thing I was saying - I think 'systems' that don't care about each person is not the problem? I think 'systems' caring about me is worse than not caring."

"I think the child welfare system cares about - children, in general? And so it's, like, if someone is a child - meaning they're not eighteen yet - the CPS part of the government thinks it's their business who that person lives with and whether they go to school. I think a lot of people are actually trying really hard to do right by...children, in general...and it's just that 'children, in general' is a pretty different thing from any given child?" 

"I worry America wrong about what makes children grow up strong and smart and good at jobs because - America wrong about a lot of things I think."

"Caring about 'children, in general' is very strange and I do not understand why anyone does that."

Evelyn is so fond of Iomedae. Evelyn is possibly slightly bursting with emotions in general, right now, it's inconvenient but 'unprofessional' probably isn't the right framing? Iomedae and Alfirin don't need her to be a perfect adult and the world's best mom. They need her to be a person, who sees them as people, and who tries to understand and explain.

"You're probably right! ...Alfirin, I think you have a point and that's - not how I work - but I can try to explain later why I think it's a mistake people can make even when they're trying.

She turns back to Iomedae. "I think we're probably - more right about some things than any country in the world was a few hundred years ago? I think you can't be a country that sends people to the Moon unless you're right about some of the things people need to grow up strong and smart and good at jobs. But I think we could be better, and I - want you to grow up as strong and smart and good at things as you can possibly be, and - notice the things we're getting wrong, and convince people to fix them - 

- I do think that the really big things you could do, with your life, would mean doing some of that? I think we've genuinely gotten less violent as a society over the last century, and - that doesn't mean we don't have problems anymore, we might have worse problems in some ways, but - fewer of the really bad problems that are left can be solved with swords." 

There's something she wants to say and it's bubbling up mostly in the form of inchoate emotions and it's really inconvenient how, yet again, this is not a situation where she feels experienced and skilled and in control, she has no idea what she's doing, but - it feels important. 

"...There's a thing I want to say, about - why I care, and why I want to help. I'm probably going to be bad at saying it, because - I think we sort of speak different languages, even apart from how you're both still learning English. ...You should probably ask me questions first if there's anything I just said that was confusing or had words you don't know." 

"I think you are saying America has to know some things about making children smart and having people - drink of the fruit of abundance as God says to - to have lunar modules. I think you are right about this. I am not smart to be a scientist but Alfirin should be maybe and it is good if America she can learn lunar modules and nowhere else can teach her that."

Nod. "I think that's right. I think America - and lots of other places, but America is definitely a world leader here - is pretty good at...the things you need for technology and progress? Which matters, it's a lot of why even the poorest people in America usually aren't starving, but it's - not everything, and I think we don't necessarily know how to solve the...well, social problems." Sigh. "Also America is pretty bad at helping other countries that are worse off, and I - I'm sorry I wasn't the sort of person who would have been angry about that before you made me look at it, but I am kind of angry about it now." 

Does Alfirin have any questions? 

"I am not sure how America not have violence."

"Oh, I mean, we have way more violence than anyone would like, but - a lot less than other countries that are worse off, and probably a lot less than America a couple hundred years ago? There are murders, and rapes, but I don't carry a weapon when I go to the grocery store and nothing bad has ever happened. My mom did - advise me to have ways to hurt people if they attacked me - when I was a teenager, and I was paying attention to it, but I have never in my entire life actually been mugged or anything."

Shrug. "That part does vary based on where you live, in some poor neighborhoods there are more shootings - uh, people getting into a fight in the street and using guns to kill each other. But this isn't one of them, and it's not a neighborhood where you have to worry about someone stealing your car if you leave it in the driveway or breaking into your house if you go on vacation. I...actually don't know why? I've never thought about it before, it's just - the thing that's normal to me. But I think the thing that's normal to me is different from the thing that's normal to both of you, because - I can tell Iomedae was scared about leaving the house without a sword, and I've never worried about that and I'm still here to tell you about it." 

"And the only things that are scary are people? All the bears are killed?"

"...Yeah, more or less? Not all, I think people who live out in the forest have to worry sometimes, but we're in a city. ...People actually get upset about it, that we killed all the big animals to turn the whole continent into farms and cities and that was mean to the animals. Sometimes there are programs to reintroduce wolves and stuff to an area where we killed all the wolves. - an area really far away from any cities, like, out in the mountains where hardly anyone lives."

"Animals you mean - talking weapon-using animals?"