'I should be the one saying that.'

...She has a lot of strong and conflicted feelings about who's to blame which sound very unpleasant to deal with and she - does not have any spare cope right now. 

And. Speaking of. 

'I don't want - anyone knowing I still exist.' Assuming she keeps existing. 'Other than you.' Because then she'd have to figure out how to fix the thing where she still exists, which would make Elesse sad.

'All right. I won't tell.'

Warmth/ gratitude/ love. 

...Somebody is probably going to find her body soon. Her leave wasn't very long, and - she thinks it's already been over an hour - since. Maybe longer. (Almost certainly longer.)

...Elesse will have to act like she doesn't - already know. 

Elesse would have felt their bond break.

...It was. Honestly probably a couple hours ago. 

That's - gonna be obvious from her body. 

And Anakin doesn't think Elesse's the type to just - keep working. If she feels that. She hopes Elesse isn't.

...Elesse hopes she isn't too.

...Maybe just. Act like they'd already broken their bond. 

Maybe.

(In the back of her mind, Elesse is running through the steps it would take to get to a small shuttlecraft and away from the fleet without arousing suspicion or putting blame on her troops when they drop out of hyperspace for a nav check.)

...Okay Anakin has very little ground to stand on here. However. She just tried 'how about instead of dealing with my problems by talking to people, I do Not That, and make everything someone else's problem instead,' and then she messed up and had to tell Elesse an even worse thing than being suicidal rather than successfully making that not Anakin's problem. Though she's really pleased Elesse would go AWOL for her.

That is a point, yes.

They can pretend - something else went weird with the bond. They don't have to claim Elesse didn't care, or that they'd already broken it. And Elesse can message someone and say something feels weird and ask them to check on Anakin, and then - resign after. And go AWOL if they won't let her. Anakin wasn't all that sure she'd be allowed to leave, the atmosphere seemed... Off.

Elesse is... not sure if any Jedi would be allowed to resign from this war. Not at this stage.

...Possibly Elesse should just go AWOL now, yeah. Simpler.

Also Anakin knew it.

This war has... made many things harder.

Time off would be good for Elesse.

She has a lot to sort out. Even besides- her neglect of Anakin.

...Yeah.

And Anakin - already abandoned her girls. Abandoned any good she could do as part of the war, because...

It's a trap. All of it. And Elesse shouldn't be trapped either. 

A trap?

...There's - weird twisty thoughts in Anakin. Things she can't think about. 

But it seems really really obvious to her that the war is going nowhere good. That they're not going to win. No one is going to win. It's just - a meat grinder, that will eat up the entire galaxy. And maybe fighting is better than surrendering but - 

There's some small goods they're doing. But it's all... Pointless. 

(Why she thinks that is... A little twisty. But a lot of it is that continuously using battle meditation - being in so many fucking battles, she can coordinate multiple legions at once, she needs to be physically present for the biggest longest most complicated battles but most battles aren't that, most are things she can do from across the galaxy if she has an anchor - and. It's done weird things to her. To her perception of the Force.)

(She can see, clear as a calm day under a blue sky, that there'll be no victors in this war.)

Elesse definitely needs to meditate on this.

It's getting - harder to not just take Elesse. Anakin's feeling a bit - blurry. So she steps out, and the depth of their connection - especially Anakin's connection to Elesse's senses - fades a bit. 

"...I think you might've been right about just leaving now."

"I think so. I don't-"

"I do not think I can continue to participate in this war."

"...I couldn't."

"So let's leave. Together."

"All right."

The fleet has entered hyperspace by now, so they have... a while, to plan.

And to - meditate. Think about things. 

Anakin is... Not alright, even if she's better than she was. (Somebody is almost certainly going to find her body while they're in hyperspace.)

She's... Struggling to think about all of it, though - she's able to think about more without her head screaming at her, but there's just...

A lot.

Very much a lot.

Elesse is... going to do the minimum necessary such that she can get them away safely. The rest can wait.