This is very exhausting but the reassurance helps, and eventually Ma'ar has, by process of elimination, concluded that probably nothing is on fire that he's missed and probably he has not left any gaping holes in their precautions, and the reason he's so scared that he's forgetting something has more to do with his emotional state than the tactical realities. 

He would like to work on the problem where his people don't trust Iomedae and they should, but that sounds like something best done with in-person meetings, and also best done when he can succeed at speaking in coherent sentences. 

It's very unfair that he isn't, really, any less scared than he was before he did all of that. Making plans usually results in feeling better about the situation he's in. But he feels slightly less like he wants to run away and hide and never take actions again. 

He should probably offer Iomedae the headband back but that requires a decision. Ma'ar has used up all of his decisions and now there are no more. Also he's kind of falling asleep. 

She lets him keep it, even once he's asleep. She doesn't need it back that urgently; all she's doing is resting and waiting and talking with Need. 

It gives him incredibly weird and intensely vivid dreams! ...It also gives him a much more reliable ability to catch himself and notice when he's dreaming, which doesn't necessarily mean he can wake himself up or decide that a given dream should stop being a nightmare, but it mitigates it a little. 

Ma'ar does not usually talk in his sleep nearly this much, but he's doing it a lot, though not very comprehensibly. Urtho's name can sometimes be picked out. 

Need is happy to keep Iomedae company while she's awake, though she's running low on conversation topics. 

The Healers will try to let Ma'ar sleep uninterrupted for a good long while, he badly needs it. Eventually they're going to need to nudge him awake and get him to consume some actual calories, Healing burns a lot of energy. 

Yeah. He's not hungry, exactly, but he feels very weak and lightheaded. Which doesn't actually make eating any more appealing. He has to SIT UP. How is that reasonable. 

...complaining about how basic facts of reality are unfair is not helpful - being annoyed with himself for it is also not helpful - why is he oh right he's still wearing Iomedae's magic headband and that's why all of his thoughts are like that. 

:You can have the artifact back: he tells Iomedae. Not having it will probably mean he's even more impaired at taking actions including eating, but the Healers are going to make him do it anyway, and at least he won't be overthinking it the entire time. 

Then she'll take it back, and smile reassuringly at him.

Everything is terrible but Iomedae smiling at him is NOT terrible. Ma'ar smiles back, and despite the fact that his head has gone back to feeling full of glue, manages to dig up a scrap of motivation to aim at eating and drinking. 

...it's probably not surprising that giving his body some nourishment to work with makes him feel better, but Ma'ar is nonetheless pretty surprised by the slight-but-noticeable lightening in the endless everything-is-terrible. A lot of things are pretty terrible, but the situation is in fact kind of under control, and it's probably a good sign that it's been a while now and nothing else has exploded. Arguably he should check in with his people but he does not actually super want to do that and - it seems like he can probably afford not to, for the moment. 

:How are you feeling?: he asks Iomedae. 

: - worried about you, worried about the ceasefire, mad at Vkandis, moderately irritated with Urtho but also considering if he'll give me a couple of those to take home.:

He had more meant to ask about her physical condition but she actually looks much better. 

She wants some of Urtho's superweapons to take back to her world??? ...probably not a useful argument to have right now. 

:Is there any point in being mad at gods? It feels like being mad at - the weather, or something. ...What are you worried about for me?: 

:You have serious injuries and your Healers seem concerned, so I think I ought to be as concerned as they are, not knowing anything they don't. 

It's entirely reasonable to be mad at gods! In many ways it's more reasonable than being mad at people! People mostly have limited resources and are often doing their best! Gods have lots more resources and sometimes have stupid evil goals! ...I owe Bastet my life, obviously, and the Nameless Flame goddess seems lovely.:

:I have been injured much worse than this before and recovered fine, I am not sure why the Healers are so worried! I admit the timing is inconvenient: 

(The Healers are a lot more worried than they would be just going off what's visible to Healing-Sight, because Ma'ar is obviously miserable and not very functional, which is unusual for him - he's been injured worse than this before on the battlefield and kept fighting - and they're nervous that it means they're missing the early stages of something more serious. An infection in his bloodstream wouldn't necessarily be very visible to Healing-Sight until it was more advanced.) 

:I am going to continue being as worried about you as your Healers are: she says. :They have more information than you do just like they have more information than I do!:

Ma'ar makes a face at her. 

The Healers think he should eat more than that. 

FINE if the alternative is that they're going to WORRY at him. It's possible that some of the awful helpless feeling of disorientation and being out of control was literally just physical dizziness that he was mistaking for an emotion, and the food is helping with that. 

:I am considering whether I should request a situation report from my people: he tells Iomedae, because Mindspeech conveniently doesn't interfere with eating. :I cannot actually tell if I am - functioning well enough to be making important decisions - I think the problem there is not because of my injuries, it is some other kind of problem I have not had before: 

:I apologize. It was a bad context in which to push you about the events that led to the war with Tantara. I admire you and the work you've done for Predain and it is deeply unfair, how badly it could have gone. It should have been a conversation for us to have at some later date with less immediate pressures.:

He looks puzzled. :I...am not actually sure what you are apologizing for: 

:I pointed out that things would predictably have gone very badly, in our earlier conversation, and it has not actually escaped me that since then you have been very convinced you cannot make important decisions.:

:...You pointed out some things which are true and that I could have noticed on my own much sooner if I had - been asking the right questions. I - do not think it would actually be better to have gone on being wrong about important things, just because being wrong about things is upsetting!: 

:Right, which is why I should have pointed it out to you while you were not recovering from serious burn injuries and trying to hold a ceasefire together. There's no such thing as a harmless lie but there are definitely facts one might prefer to learn at a later time.:

Iomedae is probably trying to be reassuring and it's rude to argue with her instead of being reassured. Ma'ar sighs. 

:If you think it is unhelpful to be convinced I cannot make important decisions, you - are probably right but I am not sure what you think the alternative is: 

:Well, do you think that you actually cannot make important decisions?:

Ma'ar starts to answer, and then stops and makes himself actually think about it. 

:...Obviously I can make important decisions, that is - mostly a fact about who will listen to me if I give them orders, and I think my people are - not any less inclined to listen to me than before. I am worried that I am...missing other things which are just as big as Urtho's superweapons, and so I will make the wrong decisions and they will make things worse. ...I suppose I want there to be an alternative where someone else is better at making decisions and will do it while I figure out what went wrong and how to avoid making the same mistakes again. I am not sure that is an alternative that actually exists, it - is compatible with reality for me to be very bad at making the right decision and for everyone else to be worse, but it is terrifying to be in the position of having to make decisions I feel this uncertain about and I am - very tired of being scared: