“What, don’t want to call Dream big D?”

"Absolutely fucking not, he's annoying enough without encouraging him." 

“He doesn’t actually like that one. Well, I suppose I’ve never tried, and it’s different coming from Tommy, but I’d bet he wouldn’t like it from me either.”

"Oh, trust me, he doesn't have to like it to be annoying about it." 

“Surely if he doesn’t like it you can just annoy him back with it...? I suppose it doesn’t matter, he’s not here to react either way.”

"You cannot annoy the Dream I know by telling him he has a big dick, he will never fucking let you forget it. —I have not given up hope that whatever happened with me will happen again although admittedly my asshole coworker would not be my first choice of people for it to happen to." 

“Bet it’d be interesting.”

"You've never had to put up with him and George sniping at each other across you without visibly responding for an hour on end." 

“I’d be more interested to see how this server reacts. What are they going to do? Put him in jail for sharing a name? Nah. But they’d hate him being around. It’d be fun to watch them squirm.”

"Has yours been doing the supervillain thing for a while, then?" 

“Depends what you count as the supervillain thing and what you count as a while. I’d say so, yeah. He might disagree. You could argue I was more of a supervillain than he was if you wanted. Certainly I was more dramatic.”

"Nah, dramatic isn't the thing, I mean like-- the thing where he really, really wants everyone to think he's cool and scary and impressive?" 

“As long as I’ve known him. It helps that he is that impressive.”

"...is he?" 

“…Yes? Have you not seen him in a fight? He’s—I mean, he’s awesome. Almost as good as Technoblade.”

"Oh, in a one on one physical fight, yeah, he was terrifying in the arena. And that's what the Capitol audience knows him for and they eat it up but we're... not in the arena anymore, we haven't been the whole time I've known him." 

“…He can still kill you outside of a specialized arena.”

"I mean, right, murder does not cease to be physically possible when you're not in the Hunger Games, but it's not— I guess if everyone went around solving their problems with murder threats then Dream's problem solving skills might actually work. In general back home people don't and it wouldn't work to and he could never in a million years get away with actually doing it anyway, so it's just, you know, posturing for the audience." 

This is not making him less curious what Dream was thinking when they talked in the prison. It's also not really giving him answers! Unfortunate how even if Q went back there's no way Dream would say anything interesting where Sam could hear. 

"Not everyone solves their problems with murder. But enough of them do. Dream certainly does. Did?"

"Fair enough, I guess."

It's not like he didn't already know 'tried to kill Tommy and Tubbo' probably wasn't the full story. He just doesn't have anyone else he can ask. 

"D'you want to see my scar from where he killed me? --Well, technically it was Punz, but without Dream and Eret Punz wouldn't have been there."

"...sure." 

He takes off his trench coat and then his yellow sweater. He's got thin rows of scabs up and down his arms, a bandage around a particularly deep one on his upper arm, but his torso has only three scars: two large cuts and one circular puncture wound.

He points to the smaller of the cuts, by his ribs, and grins. "That was Punz. On Dream's orders."

His fingers twitch but he doesn't try to touch. "How'd it happen?" 

"Oh, you can touch if you like, I don't bite. Unless you ask nicely.

It was in a war against Dream, for L'Manberg's right to have independence. Eret said he had a secret weapon to help us, led us to a secret room, and then when we had our guards down Dream and his men came out of where they were hiding in the walls. It was our first canon deaths, all of us.

I don't--I'm not still angry at them. It taught me something important, that--that violence is, is the only thing people listen to, the only thing people care about."

(His voice wavers at the end.)