"Question 10: how many people have you dated?"

"The categories here are 0, 1 to 3, 4 to 6, 6 to 9, and 10 or more. And let's say 'dating' is you pursuing some kind of ongoing relationship involving sex or kissing or such."

"...gosh that's really hard to put a number to. I think it's probably more than ten most ways I could figure you'd apply that?"

"Okay. …wow, this next question is silly."

"The, uh, 'question' here is 'follow your gut'. The answers are:
A. 444
B. yes
C. girl, you’re doing too much just give me my results!
D. no
E. 111"

"Is there something special about those numbers?"

"If there is I don't know it. Actually, hmm. I don't know if you're hearing them in the same numeric base I use, so I will say that these are supposed to be numbers where all 3 digits are the same. That might have some aesthetic appeal?"

"Huh, they don't look all the same to me. Anyway I wanna go with 'yes'."

"All right! Now we have your results."

"According to the author, your first scandal would be that an audio clip of you shaming someone gets leaked. Specifically: your so called “friend” has leaked an audio clip of you talking your shit (as you should). you only know it's them because they're the only person you told, in confidence. Now you've got to lock your doors (private your accounts) because people are weirdos and deal with the b!tch that leaked it who's in your messages claiming to be there for you and that they're sorry that this has happened."

"Why would my friend not know I can read minds??"

"Well, the quiz is primarily targeting people none of whom can read minds. …ooh, one of the scandal options people mostly don't get from the quiz is 'insider trading', when you use information from your job that you're supposed to keep secret to make money at the expense of your employer. You could plausibly be accused of that if you used your mind reading to make money and people didn't know you had it."

"I was getting stuff by being pretty unless I could be a singer. Do singers have this problem?"

"I haven't personally heard of singers having this problem but that doesn't mean it hasn't happened."

"Huh. ...are there more of these?"

"More quizzes? Yes. More scandal options corresponding to answers that you didn't give? Also yes."

"What're the other scandals?"

"'Having a secret relationship with the son of a billionaire', 'rich age gap boyfriend', 'your candy falling out your bag leaving a party', 'beef with a nepo baby', 'you date many people', 'walking out of a luxury store without paying', and 'you're just rude and mean'."

"I think 'candy' here is a euphemism for substances which are illegal but fun to ingest, and 'beef with a nepo baby' means 'conflict with the child of someone important who themselves rose on their parents' status'."

"What's a billionaire?"

"Someone with a lot of money."

"Why's dating many people a scandal?"

"A lot of people think you should only date one person at a time and you shouldn't switch partners too often either. Sometimes they even think that a woman is less 'valuable' if she's had sex with more people."

"Huh. Elfy. Almost."

"I think at least some of it dates back to the thing where, when men and women got married, husbands wanted to be sure their wives' children were also their children, but they couldn't verify it unless they were sure their wives weren't having sex with other men."

"I guess that explains the not more than one at a time thing."

"The impression I get from some parts of this list is that some people like to call lots of things scandals because it makes talking about them feel more exciting."

"That makes sense!"

"If you want to do another one, we could try 'What kind of magic do you have?' by Valis? It's not trying to guess what powers you actually have, it's designed to help people without magic have fun imagining it."