"More evidence that my world is not simply a variant on your MCU. Mine definitely has vampires. They catch fire when touched by sunlight, so Tony invented an ultraviolet laser and we carry them for self-defense."

"Cool," Cal says, in response to the UV laser.

This is the part where some people might remember Sherlock mentioning Sunnydale. Cal does not. He was gonna try Buffy, he loves Avengers and secretly loves Age of Ultron, too, but. It's not his thing? And then Joss Whedon turned out to be an asshole, so why bother.

"Yeah, that's like. Pretty sure you're safe from the TVA."

"Good to know."

"One less thing to worry about," Cal observes.

Onscreen: Tony has terrible taste in cheeseburgers, makes reporters kneel, and drops a bombshell that Stane can't quite divert.

"He is so very Tony."

"I'm kind of dying to meet your Tony."

Which he has been since learning about said Tony's existence, but now he's really thinking about it.

"Not practical on this go-round given the continent between us, but if we manage to maintain contact for another visit, I'll be sure to facilitate an encounter."

Cal takes a couple seconds to parse this, then, to himself, "Oh, yeah."

To Sherlock: "I kinda feel like Milliways would be into that."

"Plausible! We shall see."

Cal - beams a little.

Meeting literally any version of Tony Stark would be so cool.

Anyway. Movie.

Anyway, movie! It continues to move. Tony continues to Tony, very much and all the time.

Cal laughs as hard as "I feel like I'm gonna spontaneously light on fire" as he did the first time.

"A lot of this movie was improvised," he says, "especially with RDJ. He's good at it and they started shooting without a complete script. Jeff Bridges said it was like shooting a 200 million dollar student film. Which, like, For the best."

He's not gonna spoil the ending, but very much for the best.

"It does seem like he is doing a fantastic job of being Tony."

"Like I said, dude. Robert Downey Jr is Tony Stark. He was famous before this, but this is his most iconic role. Always will be."

Cal did a dive into RDJ's past work, so he feels pretty confident in saying that.

"I present for your amusement the mental image of him meeting my Tony."

"I would bring popcorn for that," Cal decides.

"Ah, but would you share it?"

Cal smiles, a little slow and intimate this time.

"Of course I would."

Hands touching in the popcorn bag is an eternal classic.

Something feels odd about that interaction, but Sherlock is too distracted by watching the movie to pursue it.

Okay, well.

Cal's not sure that was a no, given the entire reason they're up here, but it wasn't a yes, so he's not gonna push.

The movie is kind of the point, anyway and - shit, Sherlock's not gonna like what's coming up.

On the screen, Stane reveals that he's been selling Stark weapons on the side.

"...oh, I should have fucking thought," Sherlock says wearily, rubbing his forehead. "Whether or not my meeting with the hillside is conclusive, if I look into that one I don't doubt something will turn up, and then there will be trouble. You know, sometimes I wish I lived in the world where Obadiah Stane was only Tony's father's overbearing, paternalistic, condescending asshole of a best friend. Life would be a lot simpler there."

Cal has no doubt that Sherlock is right.

"The multiverse is infinite and all, but I still don't think that world exists.

"Are you gonna check?"

Because if he does, his timeline will spin even further away from the MCU, which can only be a good thing for Tony.

"Yes, of course, I'll call Jarvis as soon as I'm out the door."

Cal nods.

"Yeah, good idea. The sooner you can get rid of him, the better."

Tony might not become Iron Man, but Sherlock's timeline is different enough that that might not even matter. And if it does, catching Stane this early will save enough lives to maybe make up the difference.

"My thoughts exactly."