Imagine a wizard. Specifically, the kind of wizard that would be spraypainted on the side of a van in the 70s. Your mental image will be very close to Archmagister Albertolemew the Abrasive, a spellcaster of great repute in the loose and fractious community of backstabbing and bickering magic-users. His robes are embroidered with stars that don't match any known constellation. His beard is long, white, and too lank to ever be mistaken for a figure of festive mirth. He is currently staring down...