He does eventually notice that she's not writing any more. Looks up from his laptop to her.

She notices. "...I'm finished." You're obviously freaked out, you're going to worry him, can you calm down,

"...looks like maybe it’s pretty bad? Do you want me to belay any, or all...?"

"...not all of them," she says distantly, "but definitely some." 

She takes a slightly-shuddering breath. "Probably the smart thing to do is get guided and review it afterwards, decide then?"

"Okay. Makes sense." He holds an arm out for snuggling with.

Here's a Cara! (She sure seems clingier and more distressed than usual.)

Very reasonable, that’s a lot of mind control cruft to have discovered!

"...don't like my backlash," she says shakily.

"Yeah." He pets her arm. "I wouldn't either."

"...Tia did," she says, after a few moments of silence. "I mean - she would have traded me, if she could have. She never said it out loud, but -" it was obvious, the few times it'd come up. And wow, that's a fascinating bundle of pathetic emotions she's havin - SHUT! UP!

"...huh. I wonder why."

"Her backlash was - I don't know for sure if it was retroactively punishing her, but like I said earlier, I'm... pretty sure it was? It made it hard for her to relax in... most situations, and it was... really hard on her, very isolating. She found the forced vulnerability inherent in mine... compelling."

...and also she would have kinked on it, but Cara is not saying that out loud until someone forces her to, which could definitely happen!

"...did I accidentally make you answer that, I was only trying to wonder in a contemplative way and it wasn’t really any of my business."

"No, I wanted to answer that. With this amount of backlash I can refuse most things." Anything she has to stop and think about, at least. But if he ordered her to pick up more backlash...

She sighs. "If you accidentally make me do something I didn't want to do or didn't get a chance to think about, I'll say something." ...maybe not right away. But I will eventually, and I won't lie about it.

"What is the least - pushy - way to express appreciation about that -"

...aww. "Verbally, 'Thanks' or 'I appreciate that' are perfectly fine. And being held is nice." She shuffles around a bit she can be more snuggly. 

the amount of caution he's treating her with is at least a little bit distressing (touchy, aren't we?), but she can at least reassure herself that some of it is for his sake as much as it is hers.

"Thanks," he echoes.

"You're welcome." She leans into him, and tries not to tremble too much. 

And he's not himself backlashed at all. They can be quiet, unless she has anything else she wants to say.

She's quiet, for a while, stewing with her thoughts. 

"...even looking at the full list, it's hard to know how much these things have been affecting me." 

"I couldn't guess. If you want them belayed that could shed some light on it?"

"I -" She takes a shuddering breath. "There's some I know I want gone and a few I am obviously going to keep - might even ask you to reapply, actually, if that wouldn't make you too uncomfortable - and some I still need to think about, and maybe belaying those makes sense?" (...but she doesn't want to just erase Tia but on the other hand maybe if Tia wanted to be remembered like that she could have been more careful)

"...I think I'm okay with reapplying some if the wording doesn't seem booby-trapped and you definitely want them from a - standing start."

She squeezes him. "Thanks. ... it'd be stuff like - a reminder to check my backlash levels periodically." 

Nod. "I can see why you'd want that one."