The verbal and somatic components pull at the focus of the people around you, but when nothing obviously superpowered happens they relax and turn back to Reverend Marks.

He'll lead the congregation in a short, rote prayer for enlightenment, then hit them with the first scripture reading:

The Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “When Pharaoh says to you, ‘Perform a miracle,’ then say to Aaron, ‘Take your staff and throw it down before Pharaoh,’ and it will become a snake.”

So Moses and Aaron went to Pharaoh and did just as the Lord commanded. Aaron threw his staff down in front of Pharaoh and his officials, and it became a snake. Pharaoh then summoned wise men and sorcerers, and the Egyptian magicians also did the same things by their secret arts: Each one threw down his staff and it became a snake. But Aaron’s staff swallowed up their staffs. Yet Pharaoh’s heart became hard and he would not listen to them, just as the Lord had said.

After that, everyone sings a song together (the words are projected on the wall, the melody you have to figure out on the fly). There's a little interlude where they pass around a basket for cash donations (to buy more chairs, the woman behind Samora says).

Everyone says a prayer together, which Jesus himself allegedly taught to the first disciples, about two thousand years ago.

And then it's time for another, longer Bible reading:

A man by the name of Simon had done witchcraft there. The people of Samaria were surprised at the things he did. He pretended that he was a great man. All the people watched and listened to him. They said, “This man must be that great power of God.” They kept running after him. For a long time he fooled them with his witchcraft.

When Simon saw that the Holy Spirit was given when the missionaries laid their hands on the people, he wanted to give money to the missionaries. He said, “Let me also have this power. Then I can give the Holy Spirit to anyone I lay my hands on.” Peter said to him, “May your money be destroyed with you because you thought you could buy the gift of God with money! You have no part or place in this work. Your heart is not right in God’s sight. You must be sorry for this sin of yours and turn from it. Pray to the Lord that He will forgive you for having such a thought in your heart.

Samora joins in on the song for the last chorus and listens intently to the scripture. It's not obviously any of the gods she's heard of but she can't rule several of them out either. She's going to need to read the Bible straight through, limitations of text to speech or no, because these excerpts assume a lot more context than she has. It makes sense that if everyone is literate everyone can be expected to read the holy book on their own time. Also, it sounds like it's describing a past era when this god did pick clerics who could cast spells and try to resolve conflicts with single combat and be impersonated by witches. There's a lot more going on with Earth religion than she understands.

Then it's time for the sermon, which according to Samora's pamphlet is titled, "What Sort of Age Are We Living In?"

"What would you do, brothers and sisters, if someone turned a staff into a snake in front of you?

Maybe you'd run away. Maybe you'd try to kill the snake, if you had a weapon or the right kind of power. If you're a cape, out in costume, you might think the other cape was attacking you. That's how we tend to hear those verses nowadays: Aaron and the Egyptian sorcerers got into a cape fight, and Aaron won."

With the ease of long practice, he represses a 'because his snake was bigger' joke.

"Now, as far as I could tell on PHO, there hasn't ever been a cape who can turn staves into snakes. But there could be, right? It's not confusing that a man can turn a staff into a snake. You might wonder why he's doing it! You might think it was a dumb thing to do. But it wouldn't stun you. It wouldn't fill you with awe to see it. You and Phaoroh have that in common.

So that's how things were, back in the time of Moses. The power of our all-mighty God could turn a staff into a snake, but, you know, so could plenty of other people, if they happened to know the right trick."

"We call that the First Dispensation."

"Now I've been told that particular story happened about thirty-three hundred years ago. Fast forward thirteen centuries to the time of Christ. It's still the First Dispensation but things are very different: our Lord has been crucified, died, buried, and rose again for the forgiveness of our sins, and now His first disciples, men who were taught by Him personally, are spread out all across the ancient world, performing miracles in His Name. The people are impressed, we're told, and the Word of God is spreading fast. It's all so new and cool, in fact, that this guy Simon Magus decides he wants a piece of it. And for a while it works! He's got some kind of power, probably better than the sticks-to-snakes thing, and when people see it they start to think he must be a big deal.

What's interesting to me about that story is that the disciple Peter doesn't catch him and make him stop -- Simon comes to them! Whatever sorcery he's got, he's not satisfied with it, and he tries to pay to get the real thing. And that's what Peter's upset about. He's not mad that Simon can do witchcraft. He's not even mad at Simon for tricking people! He's mad that Simon tried to get the power of God the wrong way. This is not, he tells us, a power you can buy. It's God's power, not man's. It can't be compelled. It only comes to you if you turn away from sin. And apparently Simon never managed that, because we never hear from him again.

Once again, the scriptures show a world of people like us, people who are at home with wonders. But it's easy to forget that most Christians, all through the two thousand year history of our church, didn't live that way. The world of the disciples faded, and what came afterward was a world in which both God's power and the other powers, whatever Phaoroh's sorcerers and Simon Magus had, moved only subtly in the world. It didn't quite vanish: there were a few healings, some prophecies, whatever our Lord was doing with Joan of Arc. But they were never ordinary. Every single one was a rare testament to the mighty power of our Lord. They were awe-inspiring. And most men and women of those long years lived and died without ever seeing one."

"We call that the Second Dispensation. The weight of men's sins were lifted from them by the power of our redeeming Lord, but their bodies suffered and died in a world where God's awesome power mostly did not take an overt form. Our ancestors lived -- for over a thousand years! -- in a world that was almost pure matter, and man slowly came to believe in a world without secret forces beyond that which we can weigh and measure and count."

"But we do not live in that world now, do we, brothers and sisters? Scion appeared, and everything changed. Mankind began to develop powers. But these are not the powers of the holy spirit, which Peter tells us come only to those with repentant hearts. They're not even the powers of the Egyptian sorcerers, secret arts that required study to master. They can come upon anyone: wise or foolish, good or wicked."

"This, the age we live in now, is the Third Dispensation."

"And so many people ask, where is Peter? Where are Aaron and Moses? Where is the awesome power of God, gobbling up these mortal powers the way Aaron's snake ate up the others?

There are those who will tell you that Scion is the Word of God moving in the world but brothers and sisters, don't believe it. I used to be a Reverend in the First Church of Christ and Scion Ascendant -- don't worry, I won't tell that story again, you newcomers can ask me about it afterwards if you're really curious. Suffice it to say, Scion does not preach the Word of God, does he? He doesn't preach anything. Aaron's snake ate up the other snakes, so it's tempting to look for God in the biggest snake around, but brothers and sisters, that is a mistake. God is mighty, but we do not know the godly by their might, but by the fruits of their spirits.

There are those who will tell you that all powers are demonic, that they come suddenly because they are possessing spirits, of the kind our Lord Jesus and his apostles cast out. But evil powers cannot be turned toward good ends, and we do see capes do good. Every day we see it. Even Scion -- I was a little hard on him just now, but he saves lives every day.

There are those who will tell you that this age is a fallen age, that God's power is gone from this world, but don't believe that either. God loves His creation. Each sparrow, we're told, each flower, is precious to Him. It is never too late to put your trust in the Lord, and if you do you will see that trust repaid.

There are a few who say that powers are of the Holy Spirit, but in that case you really have to ask: why all the villains?"

"So, fine, all those answers are wrong. What's right? Can we even know?"

"We can. I'll tell it to you, just as it was told to me."

"We are living at the beginning of a new age of man, as significant in God's plan for us as the times of Moses or Christ. At the end of the First Dispensation God's mercy lifted us up out of sin. In the Second Dispensation man mostly lived without powers, but God still blessed some men with strength, and some with intelligence. Some with insight, some with bravery. All of those blessings were also callings, to turn those gifts to the service of our Lord Jesus Christ. The blessings we receive now, in the Third Dispensation, are different in their scope but not in their nature, and through the redeeming glory of Christ any power, and any person, can be turned to His good service. Our God is an awesome God, and there is nothing anywhere more powerful.

It can be hard, these days, to truly live in awe. Like Phaoroh's, our hearts are hardened by the powers we live among, or sometimes - " he carefully doesn't look at anyone in particular " - by the powers we wield. But I'll say it again, I do not only mean the kinds of powers that make a person a cape. I stand before you now with no power but my voice and my faith in our Lord Jesus Christ and I tell you, brothers and sisters, that is enough. All things, and all people, can serve the glory of God. Your powers, whatever they are, are meant for His service. And they are fit for his service, and so are you. This I promise you, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Let us pray."

"Heavenly Father, send us into the world in the strength of Your spirit. Bless us and guide as we strive to turn the powers you've given us to the work that you demand. Grant us your mercy as we struggle in a world that does not know your Word, and lift us up to meet that world with Your redeeming love."

"Lord, we ask for your mercy and compassion for Andrew Agbay."

"We pray for your protection and guidance for Thomas Ivory."

"We pray to you for Eric's mother."

"We pray for support for Max Eaton, and for his family."

"For all of these, Lord, and all those we hold in our hearts, we ask for your mercy."

"Amen."

"Amen!" the congregation responds.

And then it's time for another song!

This was such a helpful sermon that it's obvious Pride tipped off the priest and asked for it to be Basic History Explanation for Aliens week, which is very nice of everyone involved. Hopefully the rest of the congregation isn't too bored. 

It all makes sense when she thinks about it in chronological order. Whatever Jesus did or tried to do to send all His followers to Heaven, it must have taken an immense amount of intervention budget (and apparently involved being temporarily dead). Of course He would have to drop all His clerics after that. Not immediately afterwards, apparently, because they had some time still doing magic to get the church established, but then a very understandable nothing for the next thousand years. And maybe it worked, because no other gods have tried to contest this planet in that time, unless one of Them sent the Endbringers. And now Samora is here, either by accident or on purpose, to fight the Endbringers, and maybe once she's made it cheaper some of the other gods will get back in the mix and maybe they won't. 

If the Endbringers were the intervention of an Evil god it would explain why the Inheritor could send Samora here. If they're an accident and she's an accident, maybe none of the other gods will prioritize Earth. All of this is pointless speculation.

She needs to ask Pride about that "in a world that does not know Your word" bit; she was under the impression from Wikipedia that Jesus was widely worshipped. Maybe it's a thousand year old prayer and nobody wanted to change it.

She appreciates the explicit clarification that it was fine for Simon Magus to be running around being a sorceror or a cleric of another god (Abadar?) or whatever he was; she has gotten some impolite blog comments to the effect that all magic-users should be assumed clerics of Evil gods until proven otherwise.

She says "Amen" with everyone else, half a beat late. The song is a little uncanny in its imagery, but why wouldn't it be, it's a song from an alien planet by the followers of an exhausted god. The spirit of it is beautiful and she joins in as soon as she's got the tune down.

One more little prayer to send them off:

"The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Go in peace."

And that's another service down! Usually he gets to relax a bit at this point; this week he's got one more job to do.

Samora's fellow congregants don't look bored, at least.

"I always come out of these wanting to, I don't know, run out the door and pick up some trash or something," the woman to Samora's right confesses. "I know it isn't real, of course someone like Legend does more good than I ever could, but it's still nice to think about."

On her other side, Pride is looking rather overwhelmed, and will not take questions at this time.

She smiles at the woman and shrugs. "If only the person who was the very best at anything did that thing, a lot less would get done." Pride gets a smile too, and a quiet "Thank you" that she can easily pretend not to hear if she doesn't want to respond.

The crowd naturally drifts from the chairs back toward the tables with the cookies. The two Evil men both leave right after the service, but most people seem inclined to stick around.

The Reverend works his way around the room, smiling, dispensing blessings, and accepting compliments. He doesn't need to check in on Ben and Eric this week, it seems, or at any rate they don't want him to, so all he has to do is make his pitch to Samora.

Eventually he's close enough. "Samora, welcome! Gabby mentioned that you might join us today, and we're all so glad you did. How did you find the service?"

"It was very informative, thank you! I appreciate the history context." Does he look like he'll let her pull him aside somewhere and ask him thirty questions, or is he understandably too busy?

He did all the easy Reverend-ing up front, so he's got an casual manner and nothing but time on his hands. But he probably shouldn't rely on subtext with a visitor from far away, so: "I tried to write it so it'd make sense even to someone who'd never heard of the Bible before -- all sermons should be like that, really -- but I'm sure I missed a few spots. I'd be happy to fill those in, if you had any questions."

Excellent. "You did a great job of that but I still have kind of a lot of questions, yes. My planet is very different, and I don't want to guess, with important things, when I could check my guesses with someone who knows more."

Okay, but she didn't ask any questions.

After a second he forms a guess as to why not. Not literally everyone in earshot is listening to what the Reverend has to say to the famous new cape, just, you know, a solid 75%. This is where he should take her to his office, except he doesn't have an office, he just has this one room, and they sublet it four nights a week to help make rent. That's how it is, when you're a splinter sect of a splinter sect of a Protestant denomination that wasn't that big to begin with. He'll try leading her to his lectern in the other side of the room, which is reasonably private so long as nobody has secret super hearing. Gabby can come too, if she wants.

"So what do you want to know?'

If this doesn't work he'll just try taking them home with him.

No, that works fine, he's got more at stake in the being-overheard direction than she does. 

"Possibly I should open with some context on my planet. We have multiple gods who are relatively active, roughly the way you described the First Dispensation. I don't think Christ is one of them but I can't be sure. It sounds like there aren't any other gods intervening heavily here right now either, but were there in the past? If there were, did they all back off shortly after the time of Christ as well?"

PrideGabby is recovered enough to follow them, and might even talk if there's a really good reason to.

He'd guessed that Samora would ask something like that, just from skimming her blog.

"It's possible. Our sources don't carefully distinguish between spirits, demons, and gods, so you can't always tell what was going on theologically, but for example, there used to be lots of oracles around the Mediterranean sea -- the same general area where the Christian church began -- but one by one, they all stopped prophesying. The last survivor, the oracle at Delphi which claimed to grant prophecies from a god named Apollo, made its final prophecy about seventeen hundred years ago. We have letters about this from people who used to live back then, basically just complaining the oracles all used to work, but now they don't, and no one knows why or what to do about it."

"Now, some people are sure that there are no gods but ours, and never were, because so many early church fathers say that our God is the one true God. But it's also possible that that was true when they said it, but wasn't earlier -- even our Bible has a little evidence for that theory. I'm just a preacher, but some Third Dispensationalist clergy spend all their time studying that period. Those people were living in the beginning of something new, just like we are, and we're hoping to get a hint of what kinds of things might happen to us."

Should he push that theme further? Something's telling him, not yet.

"That makes sense. I would also love to know what's going to happen. I'm going to tell people here about the gods of my planet and see if they start choosing clerics on Earth, but it's possible whatever caused them to leave, or to never come here in the first place, still applies and it's just going to be me. Are there risks, or concerns, you think I should be on the lookout for there?"

Marks frowns, thinking. "I read on your blog that you came here through a 'teleportation accident'. How common is it, would you say, for that sort of accident to send someone to another planet?"