She shouted at him though? She squints up and over at him.

"...if you say so. Still." 

After going through puberty in the Delgado residence, Tim probably has a higher threshold for what qualifies as a blowup.  Also, his previous partner tipped the scale even more.  "Anyway.  We're both okay.  But, um.  As to the, er. topic.  I'm not - opposed to relationships.  In general.  I just - wanted to deliberately choose one.  And prove it by not dating for a while.  So."

"I don't even know what it would look like, if I dated someone. I- I know other people like me date? I don't know if I want to." 

“Oh.  Yeah, I’m not - exactly surprised.  I did some reading, after that first weekend.  Didn’t want to step on the same rake twice, you know?”

She directs a small smile his way, though he probably can't see it at this angle. 

"That's good of you. I wouldn't want to charge right into one, either way. If... If anything like that could happen between us, I think it should wait." 

"Okay.  So, kissing, not unless it gets.  Pretty bad.  I uh, I think we can agree to do a.  Common sense decision on if something counts as pretty bad?"

"...if I am actually fighting you to climb things, that is bad enough for kissing to be reasonable, I think. Just until I stop fighting." 

"Okay.  Or, I uh, I don't want to - push you.  But if we're in a dungeon and your backlash is getting - really scary?  Definitely not outside of the dungeon, though."

She considers, and nods, "Yes, that's reasonable too. But, ask, then? I should be able to nod, or sign." She signs an affirmative, and a yes. 

"Sure, yeah, I don't want to just - force you.  Just, planning for emergencies."  Like many hard conversations with Sara, this started out feeling incredibly scary but then actually turned out to not be that bad?  Hm.  Normally he'd write that down to think about later, but given that they're already here and he's dedicated this time to thinking ANYWAY...  "You know, every time we - talk about this kind of thing?  I feel like it's going to be really hard and it turns out to be only a little difficult."  Sara gets a little smile from her partner.

"Oh. Really?" She supposes none of the hard conversations have been all that fraught. "I guess... Well, nothing you have asked about or done has been so unreasonable, I think? Sometimes I worry you don't take enough care of yourself. But other than that..." 

Well.  He'll get up from the bar and put that on the List.  "What d'you mean by not taking care of myself?"

"I'm not sure how much is just... My own worry. But it seems sometimes that you value your own health and safety and sanity too little. I think you push yourself a little too hard to be long-term viable. Lack of proper rest, mostly." 

She sets her bowl on the arm of the chair.

"Though, we are taking something of a break now. So maybe it's not so bad." 

"I'm - really glad I have my power, and it's stupid to be a little - resentful of what I got.  I'm so, so happy to have it, and I've done so much good with it, and I'll keep doing good with it until I die."

As he talks, he's doodling a bit on the board.  Partial transcription of what he's saying, with little squiggles connecting concepts.

"But...it would be really easy for me to resent the healing portion of my power.  I sit in a room and I try not to fall asleep, and eventually people walk out feeling better.  And it's worth it, right?  I see people walk out, I'm great for stupid nerve disorders that won't heal naturally.  But I'm not - natively good at sitting quietly in a room all day.  To be honest, I probably could have paid off my loans faster if I'd had more discipline.  And not, uh, proven...personally incompatible with.  My previous partner."  A sensation of shame fills his gut.  He tries to ignore it.

"But I don't - I can't be who I am and not try to use my power as best I can.  Sometimes it's for dungeons, where you need to protect the victims or the espers.  I think if I hadn't, uh.  Screwed up with that girl with the legs, I probably would have gone to another dungeon.  But even I'm not stupid enough to know my head's just not there right now, and if I try to do a dungeon when I'm not ready, I'm risking lives."

Hmm. 

"Is it the lying down that is the big problem? Do you need to be lying down the whole time? Or, is it feeling like you're not doing much? Maybe you could do online classes during? The anatomy classes, for example.

"Also, I wish you wouldn't call yourself stupid. I guess that could be said to be part of not taking care of yourself." 

Ah, shit.  I forgot.  He writes "stupid" on the board, then circles it and draws two lines through it in red.  "Sorry.  It's not - I'm just a physical kind of guy.  You uh, might've noticed already."  He gestures towards the weightlifting cage and grins a little.  "I don't deal well with sitting down and waiting.  Studying helps, classes help, but it's not moving.  The video games are - sort of a placebo?  They're close enough to trick my brain if I'm not paying too much attention."  He pauses for a second, then decides to choose trust.  "So, when I was in school - have you ever heard the phrase 'football IQ'?"

"You are quite fidgety. But, I don't think I've heard of that, no?" 

He makes a little face at her.  "It's - so, there are people who are good at academics, and there are people who are good at sports, like football.  Or these days, at running dungeons.  I don't have a head for math or science, I'm not putting myself down?  I just - there are people who have a talent for it, and I don't.  So.  Football IQ."  He pauses for a second and realizes he's been rambling.  "Does that even make sense?"

"It kind of does. That doesn't make you stupid, though. And, when you say it, it does sound like you're putting yourself down. 'Even I'm not stupid enough'? If nothing else, it's the wrong word. Stubborn, maybe," she smiles a little. "You're very stubborn about some things." 

"Well.  Can't argue about being stubborn.  But yeah, it kind of - I'm probably not explaining this well. There's regular IQ and then there's football IQ, and you get passed if you've got football IQ and you're on the team.  And I'm in a job where my football IQ, my physical sense and my coordination actually matter and the fact that I only passed Algebra 2 because I was on the wrestling team doesn't?  You don't need a PHD to do dungeons, I think half of dungeoneers drop out of high school and they're not wrong to do it."

"If you cared about passing algebra properly I'm sure you could, even if it would be difficult. Besides, not being good at math doesn't make you stupid, I think." She shrugs. "Anyway, taking care of yourself by not continuing to do dungeons when you need some rest doesn't have much to do with, um, academia? That is... common sense? Maybe. Or maybe it is even football smarts. You can't play if you break yourself." 

A deep well of mixed irritation and sham rises up inside of him.  He had tried, damn it.  It's fine, there's no need to argue about it.  Water under the bridge and he's never going to have to deal with that ever again.  And he doesn't think she gets it, not really.  But he doesn't need to dump his neuroses on her, she's not hi-.  Wait.  She asked for this.  She literally wanted to watch his brain churn.

He takes a deep breath.  Lets it out.

"The implication is that if you have bad grades but you're good on the field, you're stupid but good at sports, and they'll pass you so you don't get kicked off the team.  So, football IQ.  And I'm not - I'm not actually stupid.  But there's things I'm just garbage at, and now that I'm an esper I don't have to anymore."

"...okay. Good. You don't have to. You can be bad at things without being stupid," she nods, "That's what- I just wanted to make sure you knew that. Some people don't know that, you know? A lot of the kids I grew up around thought that way." 

"Yeah, no, I'm not stupid stupid.  I'm just not going to get into premed unless I cheat outrageously with my power."  Hm.  Does Sara need a hug?  She's going to get one, after Tim sets her bowl on the desk.

She doesn't mind a hug! She will take a hug. 

"...Are you stealing my fruit salad?"