Oh. Right. I can ask some gods for help. Let me pray and check next morning whether I'll get cleric spells or oracle spells. Oracle curses are also useful; a god can make a curse that makes it easy to escape here.

But don't be too hopeful. 

What if I don't get spells next morning?

Then I'll just kill myself and ask Pharasma for help! So easy!

Why didn't anyone come up with this brilliant idea before they become Lawful Evil? Is it because I'm the smartest and wisest child ever in Cheliax?

Next up: prayers!

I'm Shreya Menodora currently in Nursery Attached to Corentyn Wizard Academy. This is emergency prayer please pay attention.

Iomedae Iomedae goddess of fighting Evil and stupid paladin boys listen to me. I think Cheliax sucks and don't wanna become Lawful Evil because I don't wanna go to Hell. I thought You were incompetent and young and weak but maybe You aren't. Maybe You are more competent than my books said because you don't have stupid torture chambers and unpaid slaves. Um. Give me spells and You will have one less Evil wizard who is the wisest girl in Cheliax to seduce your paladin boys. Give me spells. Please. Or I will burn down the nursery.

Not within an alignment step.

Sarenrae Sarenrae goddess of pathetic squeamish  hopefulness and sorting everyone to Neutral Good and hot sunny days listen to me. I think Cheliax sucks and don't wanna become Lawful Evil because I don't wanna go to Hell. You don't want everyone to go to Hell including me so please give me spells it's a win-win contract. I'll do whatever You want me to do as long as I don't go to Hell. Give me spells. Please. Or I will burn down the nursery. That's because I don't want other children to go to Hell when they grow up. Look how aligned with You I am! Pleazzz?

Unfortunately I'm a positive if not utilitarian entity and believe in hope and redemption so hard that you won't get spells with purpose to end the mortal lives of innocent redeemable children!

Milani Milani goddess of disobedience to superiors and recklessly destroying governments and Law without building anything better listen to me. I think Cheliax sucks and don't wanna become Lawful Evil because I don't wanna go to Hell. You are Chaotic Good, the opposite of Lawful Evil? Anyway I don't like obeying stupid superiors and Cheliax is full of them. I wanna destroy the government of Cheliax too so please give me spells so I can help you. I can also help you build something better because I am the wisest child in Cheliax. Give me spells. Please. I will burn down the nursery anyway but with Your spells I can burn it more thoroughly.

Not within an alignment step.

(If I can hear you I would say that My revolutionaries are already trying to overthrow Chelish government. But revolution is a long term project and I speculate that your strategy of burning children won't help with My plan, which is the most promising one as far as I can see. I can't see that far though, as the prophecy was shattered. Maybe you are right and I am wrong!

I hope you can escape nonetheless, precious little cost.)

Cayden Cailian drunk god of ascending by sheer luck and breaking Law and irresponsibly drinking alcohol are You the god who fucked with my drunk dad please stop messing with my dad. I think Cheliax sucks and don't wanna become Lawful Evil because I don't wanna go to Hell. I want to be lucky like You. I want to escape Cheliax and that is breaking the Law. After that I can teach Your people how to drink alcohol wisely?? Give me spells. Please. Or I will burn down the nursery. Do You want me to burn down the nursery?

Not within an alignment step and you're totally wrong with my divine domains.

(Or I will definitely give you spells unrelated to fire and means "don't burn anyone". Girl I like you and yes you're the best.)

Not Erecura She's in Hell what if She reports me.

I probably would have picked you if you pray to Me?

Same here!

……

I haven't heard of you two!

(And Shelyn, Irori, and countless other heretical deities that are not even in extremely biased Chelish textbooks.)

Anyway. 

Abadar Abadar god of banks and trade and indulging sexism in Osirion listen to me. I think Cheliax sucks and don't wanna become Lawful Evil because I don't wanna go to Hell. Because Hell is full of unpaid slaves and that's not fair trade. I'll do whatever You want me to do as long as I don't go to Hell. You give me spells so I won't have to go to Hell. It's a fair trade and win-win contract. Or I will burn down the nursery.

"Or I will burn down the nursery."

Is that a threat or something you will do anyways without intention to affect My decisions?

It's not fair to ask a five-year-old's take on decision theory! I don't have one!

Nice try but usually My clerics are required to be more Lawful than you?

Nethys Nethys crazy god of knowledge magic mad experiments craziness and explosion listen to me. I think Cheliax sucks and don't wanna become Lawful Evil because I don't wanna go to Hell. I want to learn knowledge and magic. I want to become a wizard casting Teleport without selling my soul. I don't know whether I will like mad experiments but they seem funny and I love having fun. Give me spells. Please. I will burn down the nursery without them but with Your spells I can EXPLODE it.

I haven't seen you before! A New Game Nethys will do Absolutely Nothing to see what will happen! Though I'd be Extremely Glad to see you Exploding the Nursery!

Calistria Calistria goddess of irresponsible and futile revenge out of passion with no respect of Law listen to me. I think Cheliax sucks and don't wanna become Lawful Evil because I don't wanna go to Hell. I want to escape Cheliax and that is breaking the Law. I want to kill Chelish children before they become Lawful Evil because I don't want other children to go to Hell when they grow up and that is revenge against Cheliax. Give me spells. Please. I will burn down the nursery and become the most vengeful child in Cheliax. Really.

I'll probably pick you if you see revenge more as motivation or objective, and less as "The means I use to pursue my goal also coincidentally hurts those who hurt me so that's technically revenge I guess".

There's only One left. Am I really going to……