"I don't know if that's why but it sure does sound like you have metaphorical self-driving cars."

"I definitely would not put it that way but I do not know how to resolve this mismatch of understandings."

"I have a potion recipe for seeing magic."

"Oh, that's true, that stuff is great, it helped a lot with our graduation strategy."

"Oh, that's amazing, I want that, I will give you many things in exchange for that."

"I think the main problem with the self-driving car analogy is that self-driving cars are just straightforwardly more convenient than the regular kind and it sounds like you guys' thing is not that. But you can pretend that the self-driving cars have some compensatory inconvenience if it matters."

"Wizard magic works on intent, might be what you're - interpreting?"

"Happy to make a batch of see-magic once I have a lab setup that works for me - can I see a witch lab, and then make a shopping list?"

"We brew a lot of our stuff on the hotplate in the kitchenette, but the school does have labs."

"Since everyone knows about my secret spooky inheritance now I can tell you that I have a secret underground lair that has a laboratory in it. Slightly antiquated but still functional." 

"...Or we could use Faust Junior's spooky laboratory apparently! If privacy is more important than non-spookiness." 

"There are actually several other intermediate Johanns in the family line, I don't know what number I would be exactly but it would be higher than two."

"The others weren't witches so I don't care."

"Slightly antiquated is fine, the Scholomance labs haven't been updated in a while."

"They have probably been updated since--when was the original Faust supposed to live, five hundred years ago?"

"--Thereabouts, yes, but there's magic for most of the purposes that hadn't been invented then. The relics I inherited aren't all horribly obsolete."

"It is true that the Scholomance is not five hundred years old but I'd need a shopping list anyway."

"Shopping lists we can handle." 

Johann takes a little mirror out of his pocket, and swipes across its surface, and suddenly there is a big old full-length mirror there instead. The mirror does not display everyone's reflections, but instead the inside of a slightly gloomy stone building. He pulls a large key out of apparently thin air, sets it against the surface of the mirror and turns it, and then there is a gateway to the slightly gloomy building. He wheels his chair through. 

"...I find it rather nervewracking to go thorugh this portal into a secondary location without knowing how I'd get out again under my own power!"

"--Oh, then you probably want to use one of the school labs instead."

"Apparently! Sorry."

He wheels himself back out. "It's perfectly reasonable."

"Did you have claustrophobia on your bingo card?"

"I didn't bring my bingo card along for graduation."