My hands clamp around hers, this time, firm and solid and there, ever so there as I feel the way her knuckles brush against the table, before transitioning into simply holding them, fingers loosely intertwining as I stare at her. 

Her wrists are wider than I'd expect - the muscles of her arms are corded, and she's clearly taken the tim to refine her body to make it work in the forge well, even if it's subtler then I expected. 

Calm now. 

No point in not asking, with the nerves...

"Do you want this to be over, now?"

Her eyes flick along her face. 

"No."

I turn around her fingers in my hand, and kiss along each knuckle. 

The ultimate question appears in my thoughts, a little unbidden, but it doesn't feel quite right, yet. 

"Would you take me as a student, if I wasn't the guest of honor?"

She hums lightly, her tongue tapping against her pursed lips. 

"Likely." 

I nod curtly. 

"How would you rate my talent, in that field, right now?"

She tilts her head, slightly, and quirks her eyebrows up questioningly and holds out a single finger. 

I gulp, a little. 

"Just singular words, if you'd please. I... don't want to get into this, beyond the answer you have held in your thoughts." 

Her eyes close in thought, for a moment, before speaking. 

"Middling. Quirky. Broad. Sharp."

The words threaten to tumble out, now, but there's more, here, then the answers, and I epxect that I'll be... 

I breathe, and wait, holding her still soft hand. 

"Would you like to..." 

- Fucking would be fun, yes, even if I don't feel too ready for that. It's besides the point to. I could talk about dining, again, or the work with the metal, or media, that we coudl share, to try ot have something safe, that we could talk about but... 

No. 

"Would you like to dress, together, and take some time to style our hair, together?"

She smiles. 

"Yes."

Okay. 

I feel that faint pressure behind my eyes, of the tears at wait. 

And... onwards. 

I take a moment to make sure that I'm not hyperventilating and ask away. 

"Could you please tell me... why you want me, why you want this, why you want to go and do this and take the chances and not just." 

My adam's apple feels all too stiff and weighty in my neck, so wrong and so present and-d... 

"Find your own life." 

"Firstly..." 

She hums quietly. 

"You're clever. Clear-sighted. Thoughtful. Kin. Kind. Warm. Enthusiastic. Readable. Ready. Sharp. Poised. Unshaped, yet well-formed." 

She squeezes hand back. 

"You are considerate, too. You are ever-ready to discard your every thought and choice, for the coming of the word of those wise. You are fun to tease, light of thought when you need to be, and you are accepting of the things that are in front of you. You understand, these things, and I understand what it is to be a you, through the shape of the words that you speak, the way to you express. I want to see you shine, heart of blue. I want to see teh ways that you slip in your desires into your plans, the way that you make yourself into the sort of being that will be looked up to, that will quicken more, more hearts in the wombs of your mates, more intriguing thoughts in the minds of those you converse with, more passions in those who hear your words. I want to take you, to grind away your every hesitation, your every flinch away from your completion. I want to see the blades you forge, the empire you build, the perfection that you strive for, and the many little improvements to dream of the life that I could simply seize on my own, through the will of the book you shall bind yourself to, to ride along the luck and skiens of fate that are entangled already, and let you weave a further fate and myth and legend for me. I wish to exalt as you will, through the enlightenment of the Light, the magics in your book, the reshaping of the elixir extracted from the blood of a goddess, through the teachings of the spirits of humanity and the awakening of my own, the magesmith's flame, and all the sundry things that you find." 

She strokes her thumb.

"I want to be a part of your life, your mission. I want you to be my student, and to be yours, when you find something that you wish to teach me, and I want to find how you will fit, in my life, my heart, my body." 

She flushes faintly, and smiles wistfully. 

"I want you." 

...I lean over the table, and kiss her forehead. 

"...Thank you." 

"It is no problem, Moonsilver." 

She beckons. 

"Come. You need touch, now." 

I start crying heavily and fully now, pushing aside the desk to plop myself onto her lap. 

"Shhhh..." 

A metal comb appears in her hand, as her chest presses up against her naked back, tines traiiling down her scalp. 

"You've been brave, and said your piece. There is no need for words, now." 

I coo quietly, and sighs deeply, my penis twitching as a bit of pre leaks out atop my tip and down my thigh. 

I lean in, and up, and close. 

...I twitch, tiredly and shakily as I see it all, as her hand gets close and I feel her skin on mine again, so near and.- 

Her comb dras through her hair, snarls untwining in the tangled twists of her black hair. A single finger rest against her lips, as they lightly untagle at the touch of the tines. 

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." 

"It is okay. The ship will keep us safe and clean. There is no need to worryn ow." 

I nod and gasp faintly as the caress, settling properly into place. 

My eyes are bloodshot, how, cheek stricken with tears and I instinctively want to just pull back and breathe even as I nuzzle in against her shoulder.

She laughs, bright and clarion clear, as her fingernails trace after her hand along her head. 

"It's not the time to impress me, silly girl." 

I mm a little cnufsedly as some soft sobs wrack my body. 

"mmmmhm~" 

Her fingers trail down her back, circling lightly along her spine as the comb came and went. 

"It isn't the time for you to work, silly girl. It is time for a suspension of judgement, of casting aside the wants, letting the ash and soot drift away on the wind. I'm here, for you, and I will be when the storm has passed, too."

My eyes flutter closed and then back open to let some tears spill out past my lashes as I curl in, hypervenitlating for a good long while as the tears flow freely, preening pressing in as she holds and touches. 

She kisses her forehead. 

"I know."