The state of safety education is kind of atrocious here.  "Crystals don't do anything all on their own; they have to be set in arrays.  They can still be dangerous if you put a bunch right next to each other, or if there are several bigger ones farther apart, or if you lie to healers about what your birthday is.  But the array that teleported me here was I'm pretty sure an intentional act of sabatoge, and definitely wasn't an accident."

"If you what to healers?"

"Lie to them."

"- is there some medical procedure where you have to - lie down on a particular hospital bed corresponding to your birthday -"

"If you tell them you have a different birthday than you actually do."

"If you - misread your birthdate -? Oh, or if you were a foundling or something?"

"Foundlings, yeah, sometimes.  In the past sometimes tyrants would try and kill everyone with a certain birthday, so it made sense to tell them you had a different one, if you were one of those?  But you shouldn't do that with healers because you'll just die anyway."

"Made sense to - sorry, I just don't understand -"

". . . What's your birthday."

"June seventh."

"So if your - whatever you said you had here instead of a Caesar - wanted to kill everyone born on 'June' oh seven, and some FS guards knocked on your door and asked you your birthday . . ."

"Well, I have a gun."

"But if you didn't."

"I probably wouldn't answer the door."

"Say they stop you on the street."

"Well, if someone wants to kill me and I don't have a gun I might try running away but I don't know that it would work."

"If they thought you had a different birthday they wouldn't want to kill you.  Right?"

"Seems like a very weird way to decide who to kill, but if that's how they're doing it, sure."

"So if you just told them you were born on June oh eight . . ."

"I wasn't, though. As far as I know. I guess I could call my mom and ask if it was close."

"Why would somebody want to kill everybody born on June 7 anyway?"

"If they're uppity and you're evil or if you always have bad plans and you want to stop the rest of you from also having bad plans."

"...I don't get it."

". . . Never mind; we'll come back to that later.  So, my birthday's October threect-seven, right?"