It's just Comcast or AT&T.

Well she's going to try to order some furniture now, because it'll take a few hours to get delivered, and then go back to use her phone to call AT&T.

...OK she's going to go call AT&T now, and plan to sleep on the floor because it will take days to get furniture delivered. She was kind of assuming stores would have furniture warehouses in this city but apparently not???

"Hi. I would like to subscribe to an internet connection for my apartment."

"I'm hoping this will be short because I need to take a shit. What's your apartment address?"

She will give it, while inwardly questioning the conditions under which telephone operators apparently have to work?

"Oh, yeah, we don't provide service to that block, sorry."

"...Are you sure? Your website said otherwise, is it often out of date?"

"Yeah, probably it's just pulling off the county level and we do serve your county but actually when I put that address in I get 'no service'."

why. why would the public-facing website present inaccurate coverage data when the company clearly has the ability to quickly generate accurate coverage data.

"This is annoying and disappointing and if I meaningfully had the ability to choose your service I would decline it."

"Uh huh. Bye."

She will call Comcast again.

"I would like an internet connection for my apartment, I am not interested in cable, or porn, or nonlocal sports teams."

"Right, okay. It's $39 for six months and $99 after that."

"I really hope this is illegal and I can sue your management about it."

"- why would it be illegal. Not that I care if you sue our management, they do suck."

"I don't know the local laws but I am hoping there is some anti-oligopoly regulation that would cover this situation." If not that is one more point in the "take over the world" column.

"Well I kinda doubt it, but be my guest. I'll go ahead and sign you up. The phone tree to cancel is way more annoying."

"Yes I inferred this, it's another thing I'm hoping is illegal."

"Good luck but I expect they wrote a loophole in the law or something. All right, you're all set. I have mailed your equipment to your address. It should arrive in 2-5 business days."

This has been an incredibly stressful day and if she had a crying endocrine system she might very well be crying about it now!