Of the people who work at Zodiacal Light Cryonics, Griffith Young has the most pleasant voice, which a paid survey of commercial viewers revealed mattered more to getting them to not tune out the commercial than visual appearance. (None of their current customers are interested in being paid to do a television appearance.)

So Griffith goes to the advertising studio. He asks the parking garage attendant on his way in how the attendant is doing, and she says she's distracted by his ugly car helmet but otherwise having a decent day, though it would be nice if Steve would stop leaving unwashed mugs in the break room. The attendant asks him if there's a 95+% chance that he'll remember his arrival time at the parking garage or if he'd like a ticket, and he says that he would like to take the ticket due to being somewhat paranoid, despite being fairly good at remembering things. Parking spaces closest to the elevators are reserved for people who would have trouble traversing long distances, so he takes a more distant one.

The studio employees show him to the filming area, and then he speaks. "I'm Griffith Young, and I'm an employee and customer of Zodiacal Light Cryonics! ZLC fills extremely-recently-dead bodies with antifreeze and stores their heads in liquid nitrogen. Our goal is to keep brains at liquid-nitrogen temperatures until either technology is able to restore people from brain scans or we figure out that it can't ever do it. We're located in an area with an unusually low rate of natural disasters, but in the event of an extended electrical or, less likely, other outage we probably can't keep our heads at liquid nitrogen temperatures. The odds of technology ever being able to restore mindstates from frozen heads are low, for exact details see our website. If you really don't like the idea of dying, though, you may still wish to buy our product, or that of our competitors if you're in a different region or like their methodology enough to go with a more distant provider. There isn't anything that offers a better chance of survival than our industry does, or I'd be working somewhere else, because I really don't want to die! If you just want to buy lives saved you probably want to buy medical care for poorer people in other countries, though. Zodiacal Light Cryonics: We Preserve Brains."

It's a decently good commercial, as many of their new customers mention it as the reason they signed up.

Of the people who work at Zodiacal Light Cryonics, Griffith Young has the most pleasant voice, which a paid survey of commercial viewers revealed mattered more to getting them to not tune out the commercial than visual appearance. (None of their current customers are interested in being paid to do a television appearance.)

So Griffith goes to the advertising studio. He asks the parking garage attendant on his way in how the attendant is doing, and she says she's distracted by his ugly car helmet but otherwise having a decent day, though it would be nice if Steve would stop leaving unwashed mugs in the break room. The attendant asks him if there's a 95+% chance that he'll remember his arrival time at the parking garage or if he'd like a ticket, and he says that he would like to take the ticket due to being somewhat paranoid, despite being fairly good at remembering things. Parking spaces closest to the elevators are reserved for people who would have trouble traversing long distances, so he takes a more distant one.

The studio employees show him to the filming area, and then he speaks. "I'm Griffith Young, and I'm an employee and customer of Zodiacal Light Cryonics! ZLC fills extremely-recently-dead bodies with antifreeze and stores their heads in liquid nitrogen. Our goal is to keep brains at liquid-nitrogen temperatures until either technology is able to restore people from brain scans or we figure out that it can't ever do it. We're located in an area with an unusually low rate of natural disasters, but in the event of an extended electrical or, less likely, other outage we probably can't keep our heads at liquid nitrogen temperatures. The odds of technology ever being able to restore mindstates from frozen heads are low, for exact details see our website. If you really don't like the idea of dying, though, you may still wish to buy our product, or that of our competitors if you're in a different region or like their methodology enough to go with a more distant provider. There isn't anything that offers a better chance of survival than our industry does, or I'd be working somewhere else, because I really don't want to die! If you just want to buy lives saved you probably want to buy medical care for poorer people in other countries, though. Zodiacal Light Cryonics: We Preserve Brains."

It's a decently good commercial, as many of their new customers mention it as the reason they signed up.

Of the people who work at Zodiacal Light Cryonics, Griffith Young has the most pleasant voice, which a paid survey of commercial viewers revealed mattered more to getting them to not tune out the commercial than visual appearance. (None of their current customers are interested in being paid to do a television appearance.)

So Griffith goes to the advertising studio. He asks the parking garage attendant on his way in how the attendant is doing, and she says she's distracted by his ugly car helmet but otherwise having a decent day, though it would be nice if Steve would stop leaving unwashed mugs in the break room. The attendant asks him if there's a 95+% chance that he'll remember his arrival time at the parking garage or if he'd like a ticket, and he says that he would like to take the ticket due to being somewhat paranoid, despite being fairly good at remembering things. Parking spaces closest to the elevators are reserved for people who would have trouble traversing long distances, so he takes a more distant one.

The studio employees show him to the filming area, and then he speaks. "I'm Griffith Young, and I'm an employee and customer of Zodiacal Light Cryonics! ZLC fills extremely-recently-dead bodies with antifreeze and stores their heads in liquid nitrogen. Our goal is to keep brains at liquid-nitrogen temperatures until either technology is able to restore people from brain scans or we figure out that it can't ever do it. We're located in an area with an unusually low rate of natural disasters, but in the event of an extended electrical or, less likely, other outage we probably can't keep our heads at liquid nitrogen temperatures. The odds of technology ever being able to restore mindstates from frozen heads are low, for exact details see our website. If you really don't like the idea of dying, though, you may still wish to buy our product, or that of our competitors if you're in a different region or like their methodology enough to go with a more distant provider. There isn't anything that offers a better chance of survival than our industry does, or I'd be working somewhere else, because I really don't want to die! If you just want to buy lives saved you probably want to buy medical care for poorer people in other countries, though. Zodiacal Light Cryonics: We Preserve Brains."

It's a decently good commercial, as many of their new customers mention it as the reason they signed up.