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drive me to the brink of despair
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The first emotion he feels is surprise. Surprise that he's still alive, that he suddenly cares about that, at least a little bit. It was all... a haze. Several days passed, it seems, and he's in a bed, and there's a—tube? In his throat? Wow this actually hurts a bit. Also an access connected to a vein in his left arm. And... beeping monitors?

He can't really... remember... what happened. He wasn't asleep, not throughout. He was asleep a lot, definitely more than eight hours a day, but not all the time.

Except he just can't remember. He was awake, but he wasn't there. There wasn't anything it was like to be him. The lights were on but no one was home.

...his back is sore.

He stirs.

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There is a nurse in his room. There's been nurses in his room every day, swapping shifts. "Kang Jaeha-nim?"

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He would love to respond but he unfortunately has this TUBE. He makes a noise.

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"Are you conscious?"

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How do they expect him to respond to that. And how is it not OBVIOUS—he makes another noise, more annoyed this time. He's not gonna try to speak because he would slur humiliatingly and incomprehensibly but he can make some noises and thumbs up and things.

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They stand up. "We'll inform your father and get you extubated at once," they say, bowing and fleeing.

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In that order, is it? Fucking figures.


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What follows is probably not the most humiliating sixty minutes of his life, but unlike the probable most humiliating sixty minutes of his life, this time he's not in some sort of awake coma so he can actually appreciate the humiliation of being extubated and confronted with the things they needed to do to compensate for the fact that he could not use the bathroom on his own. He kind of wishes he were still in that awake coma. Instead, he has to live through this. 

And of course father dearest is nowhere to be seen.

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"Kang Jaeha-nim?" the doctor—and this time it's the doctor, not one of the nurses—says. "We've, ah, had an esper check—"

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"Yes, yes, I know, I'm an esper now, I can tell." He can tell that he's an esper. Not just because he's not atrophied his muscles at all, nor because he saw himself in the mirror and noticed that he looked hotter and that his dick was bigger, and nor even because he had a relevantly timed mysterious ailment that lasted eight days.

He can tell that he's an esper, and that he's psychic, because he can feel their minds.

Fuck him. 

"Father dearest wants to talk to me, doesn't he?"

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"Yes. Kang Jaehyuk-nim asked you to join him in his study at your earliest convenience—"

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"Well it's really fucking inconvenient right now, but that's not what he meant, was it."

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Silence.

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"Yes, I'll go see the man, what else can I do?"

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They nod, bow, and leave.

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Fuck him he's a psychic esper.

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Whatever. He's showered, he has some bed sores that will need taking care of but those aren't visible through his suit, and he's going to go see Kang Jaehyuk.

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Who's waiting in his study, as promised.

"Jaeha."

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"Father."

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He peers at his son. "You look... well."

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He lifts an eyebrow. "Do I, now."

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"Jaeha."

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"That's my name, don't wear it out."

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"Jaeha."

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"Father."

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"Do not forget your place. Becoming an, an esper does not make you any less my son."

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