“I… gl… wha?”

It is fairly obvious that this person is significantly more awake than they want to be!

It is also fairly obvious, shortly thereafter, that this person is not alone.

"...what? Is this- am I-"

Erica shuts up, because talking back to God (or ...Satan?) is exactly the kind of thing she always wished she could do, but that it's just stupid to actually try.

“Now, do you have any preferences on who is who? The Villainess will be the ‘main antagonist,’ while the villain will be the supporting antagonist! This does afford them more freedom, and they’re more likely to not be punished by the narrative!”

Elina appears to have quickly processed that this is not her bed and instead a really worrying situation.

She sits up, glances over at the other person.

“I’d think I’d prefer to stay, er, female? If you don’t mind too much? I don’t know about the villainess part, though…”

"-I don't- mind, no. Why do we need to be 'villain' and 'villainess'? You can't have two villainesses? Or even better, two heroes? Heroines, whatever."

“Unfortunately, I’m not in charge of creating the scenarios - that’s above my paygrade. The ineffable Will of the Multiverse and their assistants are!”

The voices stays cheery, but it almost seems subdued. Well, relatively, anyway.

"-right."

Erica ignores the cheery assist of the ineffable Will of the Multiverse to focus on the person having the same bad day that she is.

"I'm Erica. What's your name?"

“Elina, it’s very nice to meet you, just wish it was under, ah, more normal circumstances? This is very weird!”

"It's very weird," she agrees. "Did you also, you know...die? She says we died."

“I… I don’t know? The last thing I remember was falling asleep. I suppose if I died I probably wouldn’t remember it.”

”Do… you remember?”

"Not- all of it. It was a seizure. I had them all my life, but this time I fell- anyway, I'm glad there's something after. Thanks, ineffable Will. Speaking of which-"

Erica turns back to Satan's receptionist.

"What is this Will of the Multiverse shit?"

“The Ineffable Will of the Multiverse is an ineffable being! They have many avatars, and are more powerful than you can imagine!”

The voices gets a little quieter, like a stage-whisper. “They’re also my boss.”

Elina turns to Erica and just shrugs.

"Fine. Villain, villainess. Tell me more about this special package."

“Traditionally, The Ineffable Will of the Multiverse only offers the Villainess role! The Villain role is a very new option!”

“If it’s an option, does that mean we can reject it?”

“Unfortunately, that is non-negotiable!”

"-can I be a hot guy? If I can be a hot guy, I'm down for anything."

“By default you will both be quite attractive, yes!”

“Well that’s… good? I suppose?”

”Er, so, what exactly are we doing?”

“Your task is to customize your experience, world, and even yourself! To the limited extent allowed by the parameters given.”

"Do you have a brochure?"

“Of course!”

Two brochures fall from the sky in front of their respective recipients.

”If you have any questions, you are welcome to ask me!”

“We should work together on these, right? Does your have such a… um, focus on hair?”

"No, thank God. Let's just compare them side-by-side."

So they do.

"Okay. I don't know about you, but I would really love magic."