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"Savannah and I grew up with Mom until we were eleven, terrible birth father nowhere in sight. Dad came investigating because he knew our dead terrible birth father was a peryton, and he thought it was right that we should know. He had his amulet, Savannah touched it, shenanigans ensued, Dad realized that our mom is terrible at raising kids, called social services, and bam, to the adoption agency. Then he realized that sucked, too, so he started trying to figure out how to adopt us properly, but that takes a while. So meanwhile I was flinging myself at magic, got myself an amulet, and begged myself the basics of runecasting. Dad was - unofficially dading at that point. Then we got adopted and moved to Forks, where nothing much happened until," he motions to his girlfriend. "And it's about the same from there."

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"My parents live in Forks too," mentions Ice. "The clan lands are near there. But mine aren't divorced. Iobel's are... I wonder why the difference."

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"Mine were technically never married, but they were still together as of my first sale," volunteers Spring.

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"I seem to be missing a father," sighs Edarial. "That's annoying, the one I have is broken."

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"I like you," says Prime. "You're snarky."
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"Narcissist," Spring accuses Prime.

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"Yup!" he says, brightly. "It's like looking at my own little version of myself, just learning how to be sarcastic. Oh, wait."

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Edarial snorts.

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"Is this going to be weird? Are you going to be a replacement Vernon for him?"

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"Let's not, say we did."

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"He could get you the bowl of condoms. It'd be just like home."

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"What."
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"Is that a what of 'why did he do that' or a what of 'what is a condom'?"

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Cypress, meanwhile, is giggling uncontrollably. Leaning on his wife for support.

"Translation spell covers the definition," he says, between laughs. "Did he actually-?"
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Edarial's palm, meet his face.

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"Found a bowl of them under the bed tied up in a bow. It was pretty... uh... yeah."

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Cypress continues to giggle. Not as uncontrollably, but it's still present.

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"Joy."

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"I mean, I'm assuming you're human-like in the relevant ways?"

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"As long as we're in our human drag we are pretty damn human," confirms Phix.

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Darren is an interesting shade of red and is inspecting his shoes. Oh look, shoes.

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Prime is not touching any of this. None of it. Not with a ten foot pole.

Are those clouds? Those are clouds. Look, clouds.
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"... Look, love! I've made progress in comparison to my alts!"

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"Congratulations!" giggles Ice.

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